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Dec 19, 2013
Steve:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You have nothing to be ashamed of. You made choices as a child and youth that were all about protecting yourself from that sick and twisted excuse of a man. He took advantage of your youth and your vulnerabilities. He banked on the fact that your mother wouldn't believe you. It's HE that carries all the shame and blame. And as long as you continue to carry shame about what he did to you and how he created such a hostile environment that brought you to the choices you made (choices that you cannot judge on adult terms) he will continue to have power over you. Take back your power, Steve. Sharing here is the first step. Keep taking the necessary steps for you to bring healing into your life. And I commend and applaud the fact that you choose NOT to spank your own children. That in and of itself broke a cycle. On more than one level, I might add. I send you love, light and healing energy. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Dec 19, 2013
i'd've done the same thing
by: nobody at all

hi steve - i'm a 59-year-old woman, American, also a child abuse survivor. I just want to say that I feel sure I'd have chosen sexual abuse over extreme physical abuse as a child, if I'd been in a position to. (as it happened, they were done separately, by separate people, so I didn't have the opportunity TO choose). my husband is a survivor of horrible physical child abuse, and I had more of the emotional and sexual stuff, which screwed me up plenty badly, but he and I argue all the time about who had it worse. he insists I had it worse than him, altho I wasn't hurt really extremely physically, because of the psychological damage I underwent above and beyond what he did, since he was never sexually abused. and I argue back that HIS childhood was way worse than mine, because extreme physical pain seems way worse to me than sexual abuse. I was so shut off by the time I was sexually abused by a neighbor that it was almost "nothing" to me. I'd been forced for 8 or 9 yrs. to simply "take" whatever was dished out to me in life, without flinching, that I would've definitely chosen sexual abuse over physical, simply because it hurt less. that's all I cared about by then, was how badly something hurt physically. my emotions were way beyond worrying about anymore by this time. so I'm writing this in total support of your "choice" (if u can even really be said to have HAD any choice in the awful no-win situation u were in). I also, once in my teens, when I was addicted to marijuana, had 2 older guys demand I give them my bag of weed or else give them blowjobs. I chose the blowjobs, I was so uncaring about what was done to me sexually or emotionally by then. so I see this as being similar to what u "chose". may God bless u for all u've been thru, and know that others, like me, read what u wrote and feel a fellowship w/u, in many ways.

nobody at all

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How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life

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