Comments for Child Abuse Story From Stephie

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Apr 10, 2009
You are NOT to blame...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Stephie, you MUST stop blaming yourself. You have no guilt to bear in this. Unless you were taught otherwise, of course you wouldn't know any better. And even if you did know better, you were a child with very little if any power to control what was happening to you! Guilt and blame lies squarely with your abusers. Your step-brother banked on your naiveté; and the boy's mother enabled his vile actions by responding to you the way she did after you told. But furthermore, CPS did you a grave disservice by allowing even a visual exchange between you and the family after you had disclosed sexual assault at the hands of one of the family members. Proper protocols do not seem to have been followed; CPS is every bit as responsible for the eventual outcome.

As for your stepfather, he knew you would stay silent because he knew you would fear the repercussions of telling, especially after the first disclosure went so badly. He took advantage of your fear and vulnerabilities. If these men are not reported, they will continue to molest other girls. They likely already have.

I strongly recommend some form of counselling for you, Stephie. A counsellor may be able to help you deal with the unwarranted guilt you still feel, as well as the emotional residue of having been betrayed. You didn't deserve to be molested. You DO deserve help dealing with the effects of being molested.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Apr 11, 2009
Sadly, you are one of many shown love falsely
by: Maurice

Stephie, go get the help Darlene advises you to receive to benefit YOU. You are one of the thousands who have been abused where you were, are made feel guilty. The abusers stronghold over you and their innnocent victims. All of us feel guilty at what happened to us, when, and until we get help, we make ourselves out to be wrong in reporting the people who abused us. Because of who they were supposed to be in our life. Stephie go for help, Darlene knows best, she really does. She does emphatise with you and your guilt feelings around where you are at NOW in your feelings around you being used and abused. THe abused innocent child/teenager is never ever at fault in what has been done to them. When my abuser carried it out on me he was in a position of control over me. All abusers use their position to do horrible things to the innocent child/vitim making them feel the guilt rather than themselves. Don't tell, is their control over the innocent. Stephie you have found a loving/caring professional woman in Darlene. She knows and can emphatise with you and your guilt feelings around you being abused. Go for help you wil reap the benefits and see yourself in your true light. a beautiful person to be loved and cherished. Hi start off by loving yourself.

Apr 12, 2009
You are not to blame
by: Cassie1

I swear you are not to blame. Sure trust the 15 year old... lol. I'm serious though. You don't need to feel guilty. The mother of that boy most likely felt ashamed for her child. Probably really upset that she had to deal with it in the first place. Most likely deep down she knew that what her son did was wrong. I'm sorry, but I'm going to be a little harsh. I know it isn't easy. And I know the words are easier to say than the actual doing of the action. You need to stop blaming yourself and start standing up for what is happening. You need to go talk to someone. Anyone you trust. This site helps, but it doesn't offer the help you need. You really need some counseling. I'm not trying to be mean here or hurt you in any way. We're all standing beside you and want you to be able to get better. It's going to be hard to tell someone, but I know you can do it. I know you can make it. We all know its not easy. Take it a step, a breath, a day at a time. It gets better in time. You just have to take the steps to make it better. I wish you all the best, and I hope to hear that you do take some steps forward which includes some counceling. I'm positive that it will help. Take care Stephie. We all know you are a strong girl, and can make it!! :)
With much much love,
Cassie1

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