Comments for Child Abuse Story From Stephen1

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May 25, 2010
Stephen:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

May 26, 2010
To your own self be true: The truth will set you free:
by: maurice

Reading through your very honest telling of your wonderings was it or was it not: I Guess Stephen 1 only you now can answer that very real Question for your own peace of mind: You relate something very serious: Certainly abuse once you accept that it all was done out of some one older than you controlling you: Using your nieviety or innocence and your vunerability at a very young age: Sadly there are individuals out there who know exactly what they are doing while being self gratified sexually and other wise during such times: No other human being has a right to make another undress and be naked in front of the opposite sex especilly if that person is only a child/addolecent. Stephen 1 you are an intelligent young man now: You must be aware of your body: your self worth and respect: Deep within you I am certain you know that you were abused by this older person when you were innocent and vunerable: Control of you: Being deceptive in what he did to you and wanting to make it look like a game: I know of many similiar incidents in male and female children lives: It used to be called innocent fun in my childhood: It really was not: Older teenagers used to find oportunities where they would get a bunch of children to do whatever: Beat them: finger them: play with their genitile as if it was a game: Dare you like game: Taking away their innoncence while doing it: I know it had it's effects on a number whom I grew up as I was part of such games: I was always the child too: To put your doubts and fears at peace please speak with a counsellor: Oh yes Stephen 1' you will really have it all put in perspective for you: It was a form of abuse and it is a pity your parents did not enquire a little more how tou were geeting your belly bruisings. The good thing Stephen 1 none of what happened or was done to you was your fault: So you can honestly say I am (was) not to blame: Now get on with living your life: Live it to the full: Get out there with your true friends and like-minded people having a healthy mind in a healthy body: Mix naturally being active and alive in sporting and cultural activities: A visit to a counsellor will put all that happened to you in it's rightful place: In total confidence speak your mind: Talk to your parents and the one or two close and trusted friends that knew what this not so good older person did to you. I am not to blame: That is most important for you to acknowledge Stephen 1

May 26, 2010
That is abuse
by: Mike

You were being abused and you should talk to someone and get counseling. The past will haunt you for the rest of your life if you don't get help.

Jun 05, 2010
it is not your fault
by: Chanelle

Dear Stephen1,
You definitely definitely definitely couldn't have known any better at that point in your life.

I personally think that sexual abuse, has a way of making one feel dissected, as though the abuser is twisting your essence, squashing it. Most of all it is so confusing...Please, do not turn the anger inward (like i did, and still do, at times..)and blame yourself, because it is not your fault.

I hope you find a way of loving all of yourself and caressing your inner child, in a way that you always wished you'd have had, to comfort the little inner child within you, to console it, to be a consistent figure of love and healing towards yourself....

It's a tough journey, i like to call it a 'painfully- enriching journey' May you experience the true joy that is only possible to achieve after pain...

Chanelle

Jul 06, 2010
It's Soooo Not Your Fault
by: John

This was in no way your fault. It was systematic manipulation by someone older than you who had a little more knowledge. Thus, this can definitely be classified as abuse. You will be all right, never question if he abused you. What he did was wrong, abusive, and manipulative. He is totally at fault and you will be all right.

Oct 31, 2010
I think i can relate
by: Manuel

Hi Stephen,

I can relate to what you feel. I have the same doubt about my experience. Doubting wether it was true abuse or not and wondering how much my own agreement albeit out of not knowing aided or "softened" the abuse.

As i did not experience the aggression but simply played along out of a need for love and affection my experience seems les grave. I have however not very long ago come to the conclusion that it deffinitely was abuse and for the simple reason that i still have problems with it at the age of 33 it is a traumatizing abuse.

You are clearly not ok with it and clearly strugle with the memories so therefor it is true and it is traumatizing.

I dont know if like me you have displayed some distorted sexual and social behaviour during your life but for me that is all clearly related to this abuse.

Now that i have told my self that it did happen and it does hurt and it has had a very negative effect on my life and only now can i begin healing.

I hope that one day you take this step as well and join me on the path of healing

Nov 03, 2010
Healing is ongoing: Always believe in YOURSELF
by: maurice

Speaking with a number of people my own generation 64 ish in recent weeks I found it quite disturbing to hear them say they know paren's teacher's guardians of children and teenagers were very harsh and physical beating was the norm for the day: None of them accepted that it was abuse: Not knowing I had accepted the form of beating I received was abuse: I believe that is the same with the so called innocent playing by siblings/children and teenagers of games that certainly arousedthe older ones in touching what was and is regarded as very private areas for each child: They say ignorance is bliss for those who know no better: I believe that could be stated about the innocence of children of bygone days it was bliss to those who knew no better: But in that bliss many in their later years questioned it: As it had it'd effects on their own personal attitude and mature thinking about their bodies and their sexuality: Speakint to a counsellor helps to put it all in perspective: Yes I have known a number of my generation who were effected more than other by the physical beatings in their search to know the truth did all kind of fetish act's in trying to find the real truth and self afterwards in their lives: Thankfully all accepted that after speaking with a counsellor they were more at peace about it all: Living a fuller life in greater positivity: Letting go for some takes longer time for some more than others: counselling is a real help: I hope all those who were unknowingly abused as they felt it was only a game will speak to a therapist and a counsellor: Don't dwell on those past years too much there gone: Now is the most important time of your life: Live it to the full: having a healthy mind in a healthy body with good and true friends to help you:

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