Comments for Child Abuse Story From Spades

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Feb 10, 2008
MONSTERS for parents...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

There are no words that could even begin to adequately address the horrors you lived through, Spades. So much pain, so much betrayal, so much of everything but what you truly needed. Love. REAL love. Love and nurturing that was your birthright.

Your parents don't deserve to live among humans. They don't deserve to live, period! I shudder to think about what would have ultimately happened to you if the authorities hadn't FINALLY intervened.

I'm so happy to learn that you are now safe in a foster home and have made friends there. I sincerely hope you are getting some form of therapy to help you deal with the flashbacks.

As for the skateboarding; you certainly deserve some joy in your life.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Feb 10, 2008
i miss him
by: Annie

i knew this kid after words and he was a really awsome kid, i miss him and his friends dearly. with all my might i wish i could of stopped all their suffering. they wernt like other kids, the were a million times cooler.

Feb 10, 2008
My name is Francine and I am so very sorry for you
by: Francine


Feb 11, 2008
i wish you the best
by: Anonymous

i am happy you are in a better place..then where you were before. I wish you the best in life and take care

Feb 13, 2008
Hope this helps
by: Elaine

Hey, I read your story, and I can't get over the fact that people can be so hideous to their own kids. I was abused by my parents, too. My mom has mental health problems and was really neurotic when I was growing up. I was always in trouble, and never felt I could meet my parents' expectations. My father hit and kicked me regularly.

My parents never sexually abused me, but I was raped at 15 by a "boyfriend". I had several abusive boyfriends after that. I never thougt I was good enough for anyone else.

You know, there's supposed to be a saying by Sigmund Freud, something about if you take a child and shut them away from the world, you can make them into anthing you want. I reckon that's what parents who are abusive try to do. In my opinion, abusive parents have a serious problem, but they don't see this, and go about trying to inflict their problem on their kids.

There is no way that you should have had to go through what you did. Parents make a choice to have kids, and with that choice comes responsibility. Our parents should care for us, support us, protect us, praise us and love us. Affection should not be conditional - our parents should be capable of accepting us for who we are.

Your parents did not do that. Instead they hid you away, hurt you, and punished you. Does it not make you wonder why they kept you hidden from the real world? I suspect that they knew deep down that they were doing wrong, and did not want to give you a chance to "tell on them". In my opinion, abusers are weak and pathetic people. They are often scared of the reality of a situation, and hide from the truth. Their world is about pretend, about lies, about threats and bribes. Surely that tells you something?

Spades, a word of wisdom for the wise (and that's you!)... Real people, caring people, kind people, GOOD people... they don't need to hide behind lies and threats and bribes. You are in a safe place now, and can begin to get the help you deserve. You need the chance to talk to someone understanding about your experiences. You also need the chance to begin to be YOU, the true you. To have fun, to learn, to explore and to experience the world in a good way. You are brave, strong and clever, no matter what you believe. YOU, and ONLY YOU were the one who had the resources to get through your ordeal. Now you can begin to experience normality.

Keep skating...

Feb 13, 2008
Sorry for your pain
by: Anonymous

I am sorry for the physical and emotional pain that your parents inflicted on you! It is a terrible tragedy, I hope that their punishment was severe.

Feb 13, 2008
your so... brave.!
by: jazmine

that is really horrid what your mum and dad did.and i think its really good that you have came out of that alive,its realy good you havent gave up.

do you still do skatebording ,i do skating and i feel it lets out alot of stress and anger when im skating


your really brave and i send you my love.x.

Feb 16, 2008
by: Anonymous

there r 3 words i can think of 2 d-scribe this... oh, my, and gosh! OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!

Feb 19, 2008
were in this together
by: another abuse survivor

I just wanted to let you know, spades, that you do have a purpose and you are not what your parents said or did. They are responsible for their actions. I am so proud of you for speaking out! Realize the strenght that you have! and your friends you met, hold on to them, fight for those relationships! they need you just as much as you need them so you are not a bother, but a blessing. I believe God does not intend for abuse to happen. We live in a fallen world. My husband and I have received so much healing from our abusive pasts through Him. Dont ever believe that God has done this to you, that is a straight lie! God has grieved over this more than you have. Love you brother and will keep you in my prayers!

Feb 19, 2008
proud of you
by: Anonymous

i dont have words to explain my tears for you, but i know that you are a brave young man. im very proud of you. those people that are not worth calling parents WILL rot in the hell they came from. you being strong for yourself and others will recieve gratetude in return. you have been through enough and now is your time to shine and be loved! the world is yours, dont let the pain and hurt consume you. enjoy everyday dont hate for what has been done by others. we as a people cant help those we dont know about. but we will help those we do know about...continue the healing

Feb 25, 2008
im so sorry
by: Anonymous

i feel so horible of what happened to you,you're parents were could they do that to their own child,i hope they rot in glad u got saved by that cop,someone must have notice tha abuse that was going on in the house. im glad you are in a better place.remmember god loves you.

Feb 29, 2008
by: Anonymous

That was extremly sad, I hope you get out of foster care & will be able to live life to the fullest.

--ill pray for you.
God Bless.

Mar 01, 2008
your a survivor
by: bell

i cant describe of how i feel after hearing your story and i can't imagine how you feel after everything, i hope you can get all the help you can get and just be strong because things like this isnt easy.....

Mar 06, 2008
by: kathleen

im glad you finally got out of that bad home I am 15 y/o girl and im homeschooled but its not like that was for you. I know people who have gone through that and im sorry you had to go through that and congrats on being a sk8er boy and I hope the pain eases up and eventually goes away and goodluck to you and your brothers. I hope you all are in a better place and happy now. maybe you will be a pro sk8er some day.

Mar 06, 2008
by: Anonymous

You are a beautiful soul.

I'm so sorry for who your parents are. They so don't deserve you.

They missed out big time.

Mar 11, 2008
by: Amarie

This is terrible darl..... sorry to hear
god bless

Mar 16, 2008
by: Sienna

Every time I read your story, spades, it alarms me. I never get used to it. What happened to you was horrible. I know that this probably doesn't mean anything to you, but I care for you. I'm so so sorry. Your abuse just shocks me. because of the severity of the abuse, you age when it started, and the extent to which you just dealt with it for all that time. I'm so sorry.

Jul 27, 2008
because i loved them
by: Annie

dear spedes. i dont regret the all the teirs ive shed for you. i loved you, derry, riley and andy. even now. its been six long months and i feel like i might move on. ill always miss you and ill always be sad sometimes but im sending you my love even though your not on earth. im hope that you had your chance at happieness

your friend, annie
i guess 13 really is unlucky

dear commenters and readers,
im happy to see so many careing hearts out there and iim sure spades would be glade to see so many people to be rooting for him

Jan 16, 2009
You deserve happiness
by: monique

You deserve happiness everyone does. I am so sorry that your parents tortured you. I wish you the best.

Mar 19, 2010
greetings from MN
by: Anonymous

Dearest Spades,

For someone who has suffered the wraths of hell you sound like someone who DOES have a lot of inner strength, desire to follow your dreams be it skateboarding or whatever else you choose to do. May i offer some of the wisest advice someone shared with me.

Spades seek the true revenge and that is "to be the very best person you can be" the rest keeps us stuck.

I admire your courage...I am 46 yrs old and cannot tell my "secret".

I hope you can find some good in all of this mess you've lived through...LIVED THROUGH!WOW the strengh you have.

I reach out to you with a heart full of tears, hopes, thoughts of you and wishes that you make your life what you want it to be. Share your strenth spades this from a stranger I know but nevertheless you deserve to be happy, forgive your self these people who do this take our innocence and sometimes our trust forever. DON'T LET THEM WIN! misery loves company. goodbye. D in MN

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E-book: Victim To Victory

From Victim to Victory
a memoir

How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life


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