Comments for Child Abuse Story From Sharon4

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Aug 24, 2009
Emotions are the critical element...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Sometimes time and distance have a way of making what happened seem like lies...until the emotions strike. Your random memories may well have been triggered by your father's illness and subsequent passing (my deepest condolences).

Sharon, don't be concerned about what you do and don't remember. What is important is that you deal with the emotions attached to what you do recall, and then deal with the way those emotions are affecting your ability to function. The best way I know to do that is to talk to someone. You're certainly worth it.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Aug 24, 2009
So many crimes committed...
by: Anonymous

Sharon, what your mother did to you is really sadistic. She is wrong, too. You are not ugly; you are beautiful. Your mother should've been in prison for all those terrible crimes that she committed against you (and probably your brother, too). Have you tried counselling? I wish you and your children all the best.

Aug 25, 2009
There's hope for you. you have the courage and the confidence.
by: maurice

A mother so sick and sadistic as your mother was to you should not have birthed children if she was incapable of loving them, nurtuting them. Her guilt is beginning to hurt now. she knows she did you an injustice in your tender and innocent years as her beautiful child. She ruined your life. she messed up your mind with all she made you live through all these years. Darlene has given you words of comfort which I hope in turn will empower you to LOVE yourself. You have been through enough Sharon 4. Now you need to get a real life for yourself and for those in your life that matter most to you NOW. Slowly let go of all the confusion about the things you remember your sick mother did to you. Deal with them and try and stop worrying about the things you cannot recall. Work on sorting out the one's you recall one day at a time. Yes, you may need to talk with A Professional Counsellor or Therapist. Then let those whom you trust and who love you for who you are now be your inner strength. You had the Confidence and the courage to tell what you recall of your life's story to Darlene and her many visitors. You are highly intelligent and very articualte in all you wrote. Think Positive, Act Positive, Be positive and say I can, I will, I must LOVE myself and do the things that make me feel good about ME. Sharon 4 say I'M SPECIAL AND I LOVE ME. Look in the MIRROR, be nice to the me you see in the mirror. be gentle and kind on yourself and your body. I'M BEAUTIFUL begin to erase the memories of your mother destroying your beautiful long hair, wear the clothes that make you feel good in them not the one's your mother made you wear. Do the things totally the opposite to what she did to acknowledge your beautiful self NOW. Let go of the scars/marks of humiliation and the beatings she gave you. slowly erase them from your mind. Don't let her be the winner over you still reminding you of how ungly and hurtful she was to you. DON'T QUIT believing in yourself. Live well, Laugh alot, Love much. I can, I will, I must.

Sep 02, 2009
This is so familiar
by: Cathrine

I read your story and remembered so much of my childhood. My physical, sexual and emptional abusers started earlier than I can remember at the hands of my grandmother (whom I was given to by dearest mom) and the men she allowed to liove in her home. The painful memories came flooding back after the birth of my beautiful daughter. It is amazing how one person can be the sourse of a child's alcoholism, promiscuity, depression and multiple marriages...... You, like me are a SURVIVOR. We absolutely refuse to be like the ones who hurt us so deeply during our childhood. While I, like you, often feared I would be like my grandmother, I refuse to allow her to destroy another little girl. MY little girl. I am now talking about my horrors and reading others similar stories. For once I feel like I am not alone in my tears. Thank you for sharing your story of survival. You are an inspitration to victims everywhere. YOU ARE STRONG AND WONDERFUL!

xoxo
Cathrine

Sep 25, 2009
Thank you
by: Anonymous

Thank you Darlene, Anonymous, Maurice and Catherine. Your comments and good wishes have gone a long way to help me deal with these memories as have the stories of others.
I found this site because I am studying child care and needed to reasearch child abuse. I didnt think my own childhood was important until other stories made me aware that all these people didnt deserve the treatment they received and neither did I.I wish it was in my power to prevent children suffering and I cant stand thinking that their lives will be forever effected because of cruel, vindictive people. My mother has changed my life and I will never know what I could have been had I been loved and supported. At least my children know they are loved and supported.

From Darlene: Sharon, believe me when I say that you ARE more than you realize you are. What you could have been is nothing compared to what and who you already are. Embrace the fantastic and lovely person you have become. We have.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Sep 26, 2009
How to heal
by: Sharon4

Reading several stories and articles by Darlene and others, has made me realise that what I feel is by no means exclusive. We, as victims, now need to validate our own lives. I thought that if I could ask my mum why she did the things she did, I could find closure. I have read where people have tried this and been further humiliated, and realise this isnt the answer. We need to heal and I guess that is what this site is all about. I am releived and gratefull to have found Darlene and this site. My extended family, children and husband dont fully understand why I dislike my mother and I think its time I told them my story.They are all wonderfull people and have shown me through the way they love and support each other, the way a family should be. Having said that, they still have their share of disagreements. My sister inlaw has taught me by her own actions, how to express the love I feel for my own children. I want to move on and feel that I dont want to see my mother anymore, as this is the only way I can heal. Mum favours my eldest son and will attempt to create problems between us,this frightens me.

Sep 26, 2009
The shed
by: Sharon4

I am remembering more and more and I dont like the memories much, but have found that sharing them here seems to make me not feel so knotted up. I was in the back yard, not sure what i was doing at the time. My baby brother was in mums arms and he was crying. Mum said "was it sharon or B" he smiled and pointed to me. B is my older brother and i cant remember him being there, but he must have been. My baby brother wasnt old enough to speak much, he must have been 18 or so months. I was about 7 i think. He was laughing as she kicked me, and so was she. She laughed more when i cried. Then im in the shed. It was daylight when i went in. It got really dark and cold. Cant remember being scared, but i do remember the cold. I couldnt feel my feet or hands. I had a fishing coat and some sacks, must have helped. I remember waking up and there was a square of sun on the floor. I put my feet in it.Dont know how long i was there, but i was carried out cause i couldnt walk, not sure why and my throat was sore and my eyes really hurt. Cant remember going inside or what happened after that for a while. It disturbs me a lot that my brother was only a baby and he laughed as i was being hurt. He is 38 and very abusive to his partner and anyone female. I dont know how often i was in that shed, but i think it was a lot. I remember a cousen a year older than me, was being growled at by her mum and i said " i can take her to the shed " or words to that effect. I remember my Aunty looking confused and my mum telling me to go away, i dont think i was sent to the shed after that day.

Sep 28, 2009
Please keep sharing your abusive pain
by: maurice

Sharon, please love your beautiful self. do try and talk through all your incidents when you were abused with a qualified counsellor or one very trusting friend who will love you and help you to do it. you have Darlene's beautiful words to you also caring and loving words from me and other visitors to her site who emphatise with each other because they too suffered abuse and the pain of it and it's effects in their life. Sharon always believe in your wonderful and beautiful self. be gentle and kind to yourself. I'M SPECIAL AND I'M GOING TO LOVE ME AND HUG ME TO MAKE ME FEEL GOOD. DO IT ALL IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR AND WATCH YOURSELF LOVING YOURSELF. IT AIN'T SILLY SHARON I DO IT FROM TIME TO TIME WHEN I FEEL NEGATIVE THOUGHTS ABOUT MYSELF. THEN I'M OFF AGAIN LIVING MY LIFE TO THE FULL. ERA GO AND LET YOU CLOSEST AND TRUSTING OF YOUR FRIENDS HUG YOU TOO. SOOTHING AWAY THE THOUGHTS OF THE ABUSE THAT RUINED YOUR LIFE. LETTING GO EACH TIME YOU FEEL GOOD FROM THE HUGGING AND CARING OF YOURSELF

Jul 24, 2016
with thanks
by: Sharon4

How right Darlene was to say we be more than we think we are. Since first writing this story, I have moved from a diploma in child care, to a journalism degee and now work for our government as a CPS worker. Working with Child Protection has "slammed" my own demons in my face somewhat, but helps me to understand the pain we deal with and hopefully help some other victims, who then will become survivors.
I am also writing a novel, and have had many stories published over the last few years for an Australian lifestyle magazine.

WE CAN SURVIVE, REVIVE AND BE FABULOUS.

Thank you again Darlene, you were the beginning of my journey of accepting myself and moving on to a better life. xxx

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.



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