Comments for Child Abuse Story From Sharon2

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Nov 17, 2008
We had similar lives...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Sharon, in many ways our childhoods mirrored one another, so I do understand your pain. I too ran away (for the last time) at 16. I too grabbed my mother's wrists to stop her from hitting me, but never once laid a hand on her otherwise. The fact that you know your mother loved you is such a positive thing. Whatever was going on in her head when she was beating you must have been twisted and confused; no loving mother in her right mind does what your mother did to you. You didn't deserve to be treated so callously and with such disregard.

Your mother and mine died at close to the same age, both of cancer. I had long before forgiven my mother for the harm she had inflicted on me, and I was able to give her the gift of actually telling her that before she died. You opened your story with "I grew up hating my mother"...this implies that you don't still hate her. I do hope you've found a way to forgive her Sharon, because forgiveness allows you to live your life uncontrolled by all the memories and pain she inflicted. Forgiveness says, "I will no longer allow what you did to me control my life." Forgiveness is for YOU, Sharon. You deserve that kind of freedom.

You didn't say if you've entered into any form of counselling; I hope you have. A counsellor can help you deal with the emotional stuff your traumatizing childhood has left you with. And you're certainly worth that kind of help.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Nov 17, 2008
I can relate...
by: Francine

Sharon...I'm sorry that you never had a good mom; my psycho mom, too, is ballistic and abusive. When you ran away from that terrible, dangerous place that you were forced to call "home", I hope that you were in the safe place now, either with your aunt, or your grandmother, or even a foster family. And I also hope that you try counselling cuz you are the the help that you deserve. I wish you all the best, sweetheart.

Nov 17, 2008
I can relate Pt 2...
by: Francine

BTW, Sharon, I can also relate to that cruel and unusual "punishment" that you got for playing with your mother's lipstick; when I was a little kid, mostly 7 or 8 years old, I decided to play with my mom's makeup, too, cuz I was always curious and thought that this was what little girls do. Usually a mother would say, "Don't put that on yet. You're not even old enough" and just laugh heartily...but my mom's reaction from me playing with her makeup will always be in my mind, even now. Literally. When we went back home from some kind of a bookstore in Pleasanton (er Dublin) in the first day of July 1998, we were about to go to the bathroom that night when my mom saw the mess that I made from playing with her makeup and freaked out. Literally. She beat the crap out of me with her bare hands and my dad said, "You worthless dumbass, makeup is not a toy. Are you a slut or something?" Eventually, when my mom let me go to bed, she said, "That's what you get for messing with my makeup and being a slut. I told you not to mess with my shit! This is my stuff and this is my makeup and this is my house! When you're older and you're going to have your own house and your own makeup, you can do anything you want to it." At this, I literally cried myself to sleep. I really feel you, Sharon.

Nov 18, 2008
Thank you
by: Sharon

Thank you for your kind words, no I never went for counciling, there are a lo of things I don't want to remember, and I ended up in a mentaly abusive marraige that I am trying to work out what to do stay or leave, but I became a strong person because of my childhood, and my mother believe it or not was a wonderfull grandma to my own children and I have forgiven her.

Nov 19, 2008
My thoughts are with you
by: kristen

Hi Sharon,

I am sorry that you and the others had to go through such hateful violent childhoods. It is different from my story so I cant say that I can relate all that well to your stories but I do feel for you and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

I hope that you are finding that there are times when you can look to the future and I hope that results in happier feelings.

k

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