Comments for Child Abuse Story From Sara

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Nov 30, 2007
You're taking on a lot . . .
by: Darlene Barriere - webmaster

It sounds to me as though you are trying to get on with your life, Sara. I congratulate you for that.

As a child, you were betrayed and let down to the point of grave peril. Your mother needed professional and medical help years earlier. Your father should have protected you from your mother's brutality, her unrealistic expectations, and her paranoid delusions; that was his job as your father. When the police were called and took your mother to a mental hospital, they should have taken steps to protect you and your siblings. The doctors who treated your mother in hospital should have contacted Child Protection Services, who should have removed you from the home—paranoid schizophrenics can and do cause irreparable emotional damage to a child; and in your mother's case, she physically assaulted you over and over and over again. Everyone dropped the ball, Sara, EVERYONE.

Under the circumstances, I'd say you're being very magnanimous looking after your mother, financially and emotionally, and it seems somewhat medically as well. You're a wonderfully generous person, Sara, you really are.

As for your question regarding getting your mother benefits, I'm not a lawyer and I don't live in your country, so I can't answer that for you. I will, however, suggest that you find some "benefits" for yourself. I urge you to get some form of counselling, Sara. Given your mother's mental state, you're taking on a lot. You owe it to yourself to good care of yourself.


Nov 30, 2007
I was there too
by: Linda from Buffalo

Hi. When I read your story I read faster and faster because I couldn'y believe the similarities to my life. My story and a story of healing are on this site. You'll find out how similar they are. It is so hard for others to understand who dont come from a home where there is mental illness. As far as getting benefits for your mom, you may be able to have a court allow you as a family to receive her benefits to pay for a long term care facility. Like being an executor to a will. it's a possibility. You cant reason or win with her. It will have to be done through something like I am saying I should think. I am just guessing. I think it's good to try to take care of her. It helps to nurture and practice this since you are so lacking in experiencing htis for yourself first hand. I am sorry this all happened to you. I hope you are a good mommy for your children as I am to my little girl. I hope you all break the cycle of abuse even though you arent ill. I am reading an excellent book right now that I think you all would benefit from. Its called ADULT CHILDREN OF ABUSIVE PARENTS by Steven Farmer. Plus keep contributing to this site. It is a great help to us all. Congratulations on surviving. hang tough.

Nov 30, 2007
to Darlene:
by: Sara

I appreciate the support that youve given me. I think this is a very very good site to go on, and Ive been reading personal stories for 3 days now.
My dad had 2 jobs to support the family of 6 and my mom didnt work at all. There wasnt much he could do for me because he was always working and I understood that he wanted to provide the family with as much as he could. There was once that we had a twig we played with that our mom ended up taking from us and beating us with it. During Xmas when we had the fire going my dad secretly threw it in the fire and told her he hadnt seen it. Another time, she tried to force him to beat us. He brought us to another room, started yelling at us and threatening us to make us cry, and then told us to get up and not tell mom he didnt really beat us. I hold no grudges against anyone, especially my mom. I understand that she couldnt help the things that she did and sometimes I appreciate her for being so hard on all of us. If she wasnt, I probably wouldve dropped out of high school sophomore year. I try to look on the brighter side of it.. she taught me the importance of independence and education.
As far as my personality, Im a hermit. I get easily irritated and I hate people. This comes from the anger of my childhood and I think part of it was passed down to me from mom. I still havent gone to see a psychiatrist, yet everyone says I should.

Nov 30, 2007
Linda's stories:
by: Darlene Barriere - webmaster

Sara, the two pages that Linda refers to in her comments to you can be found at the following URLs on this site:

child-abuse-story-from-lls and story-of-healing-and-recovery-from-lls


Nov 30, 2007
Linda from Buffalo
by: Sara

It is such a relief to know that someone truly understands where Im coming from. My boyfriend of 3 years knows my story but doesnt know what to say for the most part. Sometimes I cry still and he tries to comfort me, but he just doesnt know how it really feels. I would love to read your story, theres so many on here though so I may miss it. If you could send me the link that would be appreciated.
I work at a law firm and so do two of my sisters. To be able to get an attorney appointed to us to have it to where we'd be able to sign for benefits we will have to have the mental hospital give us documents saying she cannot care for herself. The hospital that we took her to said they only keep records for 3 years, so all her records are gone by now. Honestly I do not want to force her to go again, I hated it the first time so Im trying to go around it and use that only as last resort.
Thank you for the book recommendation, I love to read. I read all about psychological things too. I think because of where I came from its easier to take in reading the horrible stories that happen to others, and I use it to learn.

Nov 30, 2007
sorry
by: Anonymous

well i know what you mean one of my friend had that happend

Dec 03, 2007
Pray
by: Anonymous

Im reading your post and im very sorry to hear about all of the things that you have went through. All I can say is maybe you can talk to a lawyer and they can help you figure out what to do. I think if they can prove that your mother is not in good mental health then they can do something about it..And then pray.. God is the answer to everything!

Dec 12, 2007
AWW
by: Anonymous

This is a touching story

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