Comments for Child Abuse Story From Santagirl Part 2

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Dec 12, 2009
Congrats on your sobriety!
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You are one strong young woman, Santagirl. I hope you know that about yourself. I hope you know that you have the ability to turn pain into power; and that you've started that process by writing your story here. Thank you for sharing it with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Dec 12, 2009
Hey
by: Julia

U don't deserve this, and everything that has happend. it is good that uhave almost stopped smoking and are trying to keep urself clean. i wish there was someway we could communicate.
if u need anything, just reply.

Dec 15, 2009
Don't Quit, Don't give up on yourself. Always believe in yourself.
by: maurice

Santa-Girl Continue to be brave, Stay strong for yourself and persevere at truly loving the wonderful and beautiful person you say others say you are. The only one who can make oneself beautiful is me. I must acknowledge it myself. Santa--Girl you are living with low Self-Esteem because of the abuse you have suffered and the Mother who needs loads of help with her problems. I did not ask to be born into such a house, which I call home because I live there with my Parents. You know your mother is not a well woman, she is drugged out of her mind most of the time, she does not even know she is being used and abused too even as an Adult. You became aware it was wrong what you did, you must not blame yourself Santa--Girl I was not to blame, it was not my fault I was just her child doing what she told me to. A mother birth's a beautiful baby/child she owes it to that fragile innocent to love and cherish that child by caring for him/her. You Santa--Girl are one very gifted child, with your own tallents. your own natural ways of communicating/relating with your peers and those around. Hi Santa--Girl will you promise yourself to have at least one/two real friends who will love and cherish you for who you are NOW. With them begin to get all the neccesary help you need to build up your own Self Esteem because you are worthit. Please look at yourself in the mirror. Love the me you see in that mirror from your head to your toes with all the beauty that is within you. Darlene has a woman's heart for you her words to you are real. Words of encouragement Santa--Girl just for you. Please begin today to think positive, Act Positive, Be positive in all you do and say about your life and where you want to end up in life. I can, I will, I must becaue I'm Special and I love Me. This Christmas give the gift of your wonderful and beautiful self to others. Always believe in yourself. Empower yourself by having a healthy mind in a healthy body. Becaome Active and Alive. Get out and about by joining sporting/cultural groups who will benefit you no end because you'll grow and mature healthily mixing and having all that comes naturally to Live Well, laugh Alot, Love much. I am going to love my body by being gentle and kind to it. soothing/massaging it with lotions and creams to erase the not so nice thoughts/feelingsI have had about it. Today get off your bottom and be true to yourself, your family and you frieds. Let God be your inner strenth to help you.

Sep 14, 2010
update on my story
by: Santagirl

after i moved to toronto with my dad things started to get really f***ed up again. he kicked me out of the house a lot, he was drunk a a lot and physically assaulted me a lot. i got some major drug addictions to injecting morphine and cocaine and pree much anything else i could my hands on then started prostituting to keep up my habits. i made some friends then the f***ed me overe and raped me. i was on the streets a lot and got raped almost nightly. often i got gang beat and raped. almost all of my sstuff always got stiolen. i was stealing from everyuone and basically doing everything to survive and stay hifgh. finally i officially dropped out high school.... illl continue this later... my bf just got home and i dont want him seeing this

Sep 14, 2010
Don't quit: Don't give up on yourself: Be a winner
by: maurice

Always believe when you are at the lowest ebb in your thing and being the only is back from the brink: You need a real friend wonderful woman: Not a friend that will keep you where you are: Will genuinely care about you: will encourage you to stop the S''T and make a life for yourself: I am certain you can get counselling: Go to a safe house miles from the streets: You coming back to the site means you are still making your cry for help: You sure are nobody's fool: You are intelligent: You sure don't want to be living the way you are: Get a friend not neccessarily a BF but someone who will walk wirh you: talk with you: keep you safe: Get Help NOW; even if that means dumping your BF: You don't need anyone to be keep messing up your life: Go back to Darlene's original comment: You'll still make sense of it for YOU:

Oct 12, 2010
update on my recent lifestory cont'd
by: Santagirl

My dad finally stuck me on a plane, left a message on my birth mothers machine saying i was gonna be at the airport the next morning and that she should prolly be there to pick me up before i got there. She was there and she did pick me up and i felt like i was going absolutely insane. i didnt know what to expect or do or anything seeing as this was the same woman who put me through absolute and complete for so long, so many years before. but at the same time i was so relieved to be leaving my fathers house.
from there i found out she's been mostly clean for almost 2 1/2 years. she does still continue to use a couple times a month, but she's learned to keep herself and her drug use in check. now i live with her, technically in a small town in BC. she's working as a waitress.
although my mother and i havent talked about the past, pretty much at all yet, we do get along well and have a mutual understanding. she gives me all my freedom. she lets me travel and tries to give me some money to do so, but as she is only a waitress who dropped out of school in gr 7, and is on welfare, she can usually only give me enough for my bus ticket to wherever i'm going, usually to vancouver.
i have an amazing boyfriend who is incredibly supportive of me, and does his best to discouragfe my bad habits. because of him i'm almost totally off opiates, from an addicttion, and i very rarely smoke crack anymore. i am not prostituting anymore, and i havent been raped since mid-june 2010, which is when i moved back out here, to BC. i barely smoke anymore, and despite my previous alcoholism, and after a severe infection (had i waited about a week and half longer to go to the hospital it would have killed me) i dont drink anymore. i am going through my cocaine addiction again, but i'm trying to get off that. i have been thinking about going back to school.
i have two amazing friends and one amazing boyfriend. all three of whom, are, well, just amazing. they support me and theye just help me through, i can talk to them about anything and they are helping me learn so much, like how to trust and love and love myself, and not self destruct and so on and so forth.
anyway, i think i'm starting to get back on the right path, which is awesome, cuz i am only 15 and i have a whole life ahead of me,
thank you so much for your advice. from all of you who have offered it. it actually did help.
i'm finding that the more i listen to people and take what they say to heart, the more i realize that not everyone wants to just hurt me. a lot of people actually are concerned and care a lot about me. and a lot of what they say to try and help me, makes a lot of sense
anyway
create a wonderful day for yourself, as i am doing the same.

Oct 12, 2010
I am taking charge of my own life's destiny:
by: maurice

My horizons are reachable: i know with all the love, help, support from genuine caring people.My mom, my boyfriend I am beginning to make a real sense of all the S''t I've been through and put myself through: I am beginning to value and rspect myself and my body with loads of care and concern from people who want me to be a winner in my life: Good on you Santagirl: I want what is the very best for you: Say, I want what is the very best for me too: Live one day at a time: Live well in the NOW time of your life: Let go of the past, don't hold onto any part of it that was not good for you:

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