Comments for Child Abuse Story From Royal

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Sep 10, 2007
Forgive for yourself, not him
by: Darlene Barriere

I wouldn't ever trust or thank you father either, Royal. He has proven that he cannot be trusted. The chance that he has changed in any meaningful way is remote. It is possible, but highly unlikely.

The fact that your father asked to be forgiven proves that he is still thinking only about himself. If he wasn't just thinking of himself, if he was truly thinking about you, he would never ask to be forgiven; rather, he would make amends by acting in a way that showed you he was sorry. But he would be doing so without any expectation of forgiveness.

As for forgiveness and you, Royal, I have my own beliefs that I've shared before and will share again with you.

Forgiveness is NOT about saying to him that you forgive him, because you do not have to say it to him to forgive. Forgiveness is NOT about letting him back into your life, because you do not have to let him back in your life to forgive. Forgiveness is NOT about telling him that you love him, because you do not have to tell him that you love him to forgive.

Forgiveness is something you do for yourself, not for him. Forgiveness is about letting go of what he did to you.
Forgiveness is about not letting what he did to you control your life any longer. Forgiveness is about taking back your power and moving forward in your life.

The words "I forgive you" are words you say to yourself, Royal. I sincerely hope you do forgive your father so that you are never again bound by the abuse he so callously inflicted on you and your sister. The words "I forgive you" can be the most freeing thing you will ever do for yourself. They sure were for me.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Sep 10, 2007
Another failed legal system
by: Steph

Good for you that you stayed strong. It is hard for kids to understand abuse and to stand up to it. You sound very courageous. It is sad that the authorities don't take abuse more seriously. There are so many campaigns and ads to stop abuse or report it but is it effective? I think we should all take a stand and make the legal system more aware of the "real story."

Sep 10, 2007
The father doesn't deserve to be forgiven......
by: Micahel

Many people CAN be forgiven, such as my father, but some, like yours, cannot be. I'm ecstatic that you broke the cycle! He never deserves to be your father or your children's grandfather.

Sep 12, 2007
Thank you...
by: Madison...

Wow, Im really sorry that happened to you...My Step Dad raped me since I was 10...Im 15 now.
Im scared to tell someone, My Mom doesnt believe me, I dont know what to do...Im glad to hear someone has made it through something almost as horrible as me...Your a very brave women.

Sep 16, 2007
wrong !!!
by: natasha

i can not believe that story that is just so sad. i wouldnt trust him as far as i could throw him if i was you!!

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