Comments for Child Abuse Story From Rosie

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Jan 29, 2010
Rosie:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You were emotionally abused by your father. He used fear to intimate and control you; and control you he did. And what's most important are the long-term effects you've been left with, not whether or not your situation was better or worse than someone else's. The long-term effects that have been very severe for you. The experience you had with your male friend the other day was basically a reliving of each of the times you had to endure your father's ire and discontent. No wonder you reacted as you did. And that's what you must deal with now; and the best way I know to do that is with some form of counselling. You didn't deserve what your father dished out. You DO deserve help now that he has, and continues to dish out in the form of harassing emails to you. As for your father's emails, block his address so that you never have to see them. And do so without guilt. You'll be standing up for yourself against him if you do, which would be a huge boost to your self-esteem. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Jan 29, 2010
A male perspective...
by: Mark

Rosie,
I hope you don't mind a man responding to your story, but I thought you might like to have a male perspective to your trauma.
Your father was COMPLETELY wrong to treat you the way he did. I can't believe HE has the audacity to call YOU disrespectful, unforgiving, and cold-hearted. If I could, I'd tell him to take a good, hard look in the mirror when he says these things.
No one has the right to terrorize anyone else. I (and other good men) are ashamed at the high rate of men who commit abuse. It is NOT a man's right to abuse others - it's a CRIME.
Please don't feel guilty for complaining about your father - haven't you earned the right to? And I don't see anything wrong with feeling sorry for yourself sometimes - it's not a sin. If you talk about your father's abuse a lot, it's because you NEED to. You said your abuse could have been a lot worse, but that doesn't matter - it was BAD ENOUGH. Don't minimize it or think that it's trivial. I'm a survivor of childhood rape, and I think your abuse was more tragic than mine. You've got every right to feel sorry for yourself and complain about his abuse of you.
Rosie, try not to cut yourself anymore; if not for yourself, then at least for those in your life who love you. You are worthy of happiness, freedom, and love, and with counseling, I'm sure you will overcome your father's abuse and live a rich and rewarding life.
From just one of many good, good men out there,
Mark

Jan 30, 2010
The Most I mportant person NOW to LOVE is YOU
by: maurice

Rosie, it is great you found Darlene's site. Her personal comment to you is to empower you to take action. Don't allow your father to rule or ruin your living of YOUR life to the full. Darlene has proved to all who visit her that there is LIFE after whatever form of abuse. Her own stroy was horrific but she took action, she realized that she needed help, went for it, spoke to Counsellors/Therapists. With their help she painfully journeyed through her horrific abuse. It was painful at the start but she persevered and is now one great prove that there is a life after abuse. She's a professional Lady, is empowering others that were abused to Believe in themselves. Her site alone is doing that Daily and I am so happy that she has kept her site a priority in her Daily schedule. She is one very determined and busy Woman. Writing books. lecturing, assiting on the ground people who were absued. Her story From Victim to Victory say's it all. Rosie her personal comment to you from her huge Woman's Heart is your steeping stone to freedom. Read and heed her words of LOVE, real concern, requesting you to get Counselling. She knows the benefits of Counselling, she knows each of us who were abused need professional help to begin making sense of ABUSE. Hi Rosie, Think positive, Act Positive, Be Positive when it comes to taking action on her empowering words to you. Emotional Abuse is long lasting only if I leave it control my lfe. Begin today having a Healthy MInd in a Healthy Body. Become active with similiar minded people in sporting and cultural teams and groups around you. I know Team sports, team work are one great way of freeing up the negative mind. Live your life to the full each day you lift your head and body from the bed. You are LOved from a distance on Darlene's site. Her many visitors who make comments do it out of love for each one who was brave enough to tell their true story in honesty and detail. Darlene was a visionary she knew a site like hers would be invalueable to Those abused. I wold say deffineately it is NEW BEGINNINGS for nearly all her visitors. Rosie, LIVE WELL, LAUGH ALOT, LOVE MUCH, (BEGINNING WITH THE ME IN THE MIRROR PERSON) That is YOU Rosie. Because I am worth it. OK off that bottom of yours now, seek out a counsellor. Have a friend or two who will walk with you in finding help. I Can: I Will: I MUST: because I am WORTH IT.

Jun 08, 2010
I understand.
by: Lindsay

I know it's hard to believe people when they say they know how you feel, but I really do. My dad always yelled at me for no reason quite frequently throughout my childhood too, and it's really affected how I am in a relationship with a guy now. It's difficult because we're going to be looking to different men in our lives to provide what our father's never gave us. And we won't find it because they're not our dad; they're our boyfriend, fiance, etc.
I'm constantly worried about making my boyfriend upset because I have the notion in my head that he'll just react how my dad reacts to things I say or do. I'm working on it.
You WERE emotionally abused. If you weren't so affected by it then it wouldn't be. If he can't accept the fact that he's hurt you in ways you can't quite explain as eloquently as you'd like, then he definitely does not deserve a relationship with you. That's his fault, he needs to realize what he did, and take a good look in the mirror and change the way he approaches you on the matter, admit that he's wrong, apologize, and at least attempt to salvage what relationship has never really been there in the first place.

I've just graduated high school, and I want to join the Marines to get away from my dad. Little does he know that I won't be talking to him; I have no desire to try and have a relationship with him anymore, it's pointless and disappointing.

Even though we don't know each other, Rosie, just know that I'm out there somewhere and I'm going through a similar circumstance. And I'll be thinking of you, hoping all is well.
I have a child abuse story on here as well (Child Abuse Story From Lindsay) if you'd like to take a look at it. I didn't quite address what I've told you here, but it's the rest of my story.
You're not the only one.
The rest of us can empathize with you (:

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From Victim to Victory
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How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life

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