Comments for Child Abuse Story From Robyn

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May 28, 2009
I understand being "haunted" by what happened with your sister and other siblings...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Robyn, it's truly amazing that any of you survived. It's miraculous he didn't kill one or all of you.

I understand how you can be haunted about getting your sister into trouble that time. I once tattled on my brother for something he did; my father strapped his naked skin till he shit himself. I blamed myself for that.

Another time, my mother tied this same brother's wrists and ankles to each of the four legs of a small round table, after she made him strip down bare. Then she took the belt to him. I couldn't do anything to protect him or save him. I almost went insane from hearing his screams. Even though I hadn't done anything to cause my mother's violence that time, it took me a very long time to forgive myself for failing to even try to stop my violent mother; even longer for tattling on him and causing him so much pain at the hands of my equally violent father.

But I DID forgive myself, Robyn. I had to learn that I was every bit as abused and every bit as controlled by the violence in our home as any of my siblings. As the first-born, in some ways, more so. And while there is no doubt that my tattling was a catalyst for the beating my brother suffered at the hands of my father, I was a child; my parents were the adults. THEY were the ones who inflicted the abuse. THEY were the ones responsible. Just as your father was the one who inflicted the violence, which makes him responsible.

It helped me come to terms when I talked to my brother openly about what happened during those times. In fact, I've talked openly and honestly to all my siblings about my perceived complicity in the abuse they suffered; it was very cathartic. Perhaps talking to your sister would be cathartic for you, if you haven't spoken to her about it already. You have found a way to extend understanding to your mother for not coming to the rescue of you and your siblings. I hope you can find that same understanding for yourself. After all, as a child you really and truly WERE powerless.

Robyn, you've demonstrated that one can move forward with their life, even after extreme abuse. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

May 30, 2009
Don't keep blaming yourself, STOP now . Never your fault
by: maurice

Robyn, please oh please listen to Darlene, her words are so uplifting for you at this time in your life. It is what gives me great hope knowing how sincere Darlene is. ever so honest, truthful in her words of encouragement to each of her visitors treating each one's story with total respect and sensitivity. Oh we all have been there, standing idly by feeling totally fearful and to blame when we did not do anything to stop such beatings and abuse on others. I felt the same many times when a group of us were lined up for a beating in school especially when I was one of the older boys waiting. Oh Robyn please don't think too much about being at fault because you did nothing. One very big bad man your father put the fear of God in everyone in the house including your mother. He was one bad, bad Father. Robyn, your highly intelligent now and you know he was bad and abused you and your sisters. Please begin a healing process of yourself. Begin to think beautiful thoughts about yourself. every opportunity you get soothe your lovely skin with creams and make nice the parts tha were abused by your father. Begin today, get your friends and family to hug you often. Look yourself in the eye in that MIRROR and say Hi I can accomplish anything I want for me. I'm special, One slow step at a time with the help of your friends Robyn. I can do it, I will do it, I must do it for myself. It was not my fault.

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