Comments for Child Abuse Story From Robert

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Jan 14, 2012
Robert:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You were controlled and manipulated like a marionette puppet. Your parents were sick and twisted in their ways of thinking. Their own paranoia and their need to completely control you were at the heart of what they did. When parents beat their children to control their bodily functions, all in the name of "discipline" or "building character", in my view, they are both abusers and mentally disturbed. When society permits parents to physically discipline their children, they set children up for abuse. I'm not surprised to learn you've got a fetish, Robert. The nerve endings of the buttocks are all tied into the genitalia. Add to that, that it is perfectly natural for a young male to have an erection (and yes, even an orgasm) when they are anxious, scared or nervous. When you put it all together—your abusive upbringing and the way the body can betray—it makes perfect sense that you would be left with this fetish. You need help dealing with all this shame and guilt; shame and guilt that aren't yours to carry. Please seek out some form of counselling or therapy to help you deal with these affects. You didn't deserve to be abused. You certainly deserve help for the fact that you were. Always remember that you DESERVE to be treated with dignity and respect and love. Start by treating your Self with that dignity and respect and love. I send you love, light and positive energy, Robert. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Jan 14, 2012
So sorry
by: Jess

I am so sorry that you had to endure what you did. You were not being disciplined you were being tormented. Please get into counseling, it really helps, you did not deserve what you got.

Jan 15, 2012
The Horror
by: Anonymous

Robert, what sick, sadistically insane, deluded parents you had to beat and berate you 24/7...how dare they! That's not discipline; that's just torture. Oh, and following you to the bathroom everyday after school, let alone to make sure that your bathroom takes forever really shows me that they have no respect for your privacy. Oh, and beating you for bodily functions really shows me that they have no respect for even your rights as a human being and they've proven that already by doing so. Oh, and forcing you to dress up nicely for school everyday, along with forcing you to grow up faster than you should've really shows me that they have no respect for your rights to be a kid. They had the mindset that you were to be submissive and obedient at every single cost. I really hope that you're out of that house now. Oh, and strangely enough, I can relate; I, too, was sometimes forced to dress up nicely for school and my parents, too, tried to force me to act adult-like too. They would also drill me into table manners until I cried. Anyway, you are not to blame for their sadistic, ignorant behavior; they are to blame because they chose to abuse you and even steal your childhood. You were the child; they were the adults; they had all the power and only misused it over you, so please tell someone you really trust and keep telling until he/she will finally listen to you and help you.

Jan 15, 2012
sadly one of many
by: Scott 1

Hi Robert.

You arent alone in what you are experiencing. Mixed up feelings and emotions born of shame and guilt and humiliation in childhood. I like many, experienced similar things and shared our experiences here. Sadly we are not alone. Importantly we have places to speak out and share in the quest, our quest at understanding and coming to terms with this madness bestowed upon our bodies and minds. Controlled like puppets with their sexually corrupting punishments. Mine actually happened at school and has caused problems that of what you write. Thanks for having a place to air our grievances.

Jan 21, 2012
control
by: Rita M

Hi Robert,
I can relate to some of the abuse.This idea is to be controlled and listen very carefully.I found it very difficult to do that.As soon as I arrived from school I had to pick raspberries even if I
needed to go to the bathroom.I was a foster child and didn't always have the privilage to use their facilities.I hope you have had therapy over this.
This was not your fault.Your mother was very sadistic and you didn't deserve that kind of treatment at all.the thing here is to recognize that you are now free.Take therapy.Be well.
Rita M

Jan 30, 2012
Thanks
by: Robert

Thanks for all of your kind words. I try not to think about it, but my corrupt sexuality consumes me. I'm 35 years old and single. I can not get aroused like most people do. I have to think about spankings and being forced to hold my pee to get aroused. Add to that my anxiety in general and it is very hard to get intimate. I will seek counseling as I think it is the only way to make things better and even then I'm not sure.

Feb 15, 2012
I am so sorry
by: Anonymous

I found this site tonight with trying to deal with my own grief over emotional and physical abuse as a child (I am now 41).

Your story has me in tears and I am so very sorry for everything that you have endured. You are a true survivor. I think counseling is the way to go now to deal with all of this trauma. In the meantime, if your parents are still alive, I say it is time to disown them. I wish I could sometimes do this with my own (adoptive) parents but am trapped.

Your parents are beyond my comprehension.

Jun 13, 2012
I understand and sympathise
by: kristen

Hi Robert,
I read your story some time back and I froze up I'm sorry I could not write right away.

I am now writing to let you know that you were not alone. My parents too were very controlling and made me hold my wee. Although they did not prevent me from using the bathroom at school, I did have to ask permission at home which was not always granted because I had to learn to hold it. In public I was not allowed to ask as this would disturb them. I can recall being out with them in agony and totally focussed on not wetting myself. At home I was not allowed to get up at night and they made me wear diapers to bed even into my late teens.

Like you, my parents picked out my clothes, chose my hair style, required me to be submissive, speak only when spoke to, to eat what was placed in front of me. I do not recall being made to eat anything and vomiting. Usually I was pretty hungry and grateful for the food I was given. My parents believed I should only eat small meals to keep me looking good. looks were very important. I understand not being allowed to yell. To receive the pain and to grow in virtue and submission. To hug and thank them for their love in disciplining me.

I too was changed and grew to accept this. Maybe as you describe a fetish although I do not get sexually aroused by it. It is that if I am not under someone elses control and authority I find myself becoming hateful, spiteful and actually depressed. Strange as that maybe. Anyway my main reason for writing was that I know how alone one can feel and that there is a strange comfort in knowing someone understands.

kristen.

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