Comments for Child Abuse Story From Ray1

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Dec 30, 2008
A seemingly uncaring system...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You're right, Ray: it was NOT okay for you to be mistreated. Being called a whore is completely unacceptable under any circumstances. And while you have a right to privacy, that right does not exist under all circumstances. You said you talked to the people at the college and they dismissed your complaint. You didn't say how long ago this happened, but perhaps you can still file a complaint further up in the administration. While you might not get any justice for yourself, I would think that such a complaint would be taken into account when determining whether or not this family would be allowed to host another student.

As for getting justice, which is what I think you are trying to say above, I wouldn't count on that. Prosecuting a family for what you believe is neglect is next to impossible, unless the neglect is extreme and it can be proven to be extreme. What you've described does not fit into this category.

I don't know if you are still in the student exchange system, but just understand that if you are, this is a two-way street. You must be willing to show respect to the members of your host family. You'll notice I've removed some offensive remarks that you included. If you aren't willing to be respectful yourself, you won't be treated with respect in return. I am not suggesting that you accept being abused; quite the contrary. What I'm saying is that if you go into someone's home with a sense of entitlement, chances are you will be treated with contempt and scorn. But if you show a willingness to cooperate and an appreciation for the way the family does things (especially when you disagree with the way those things are done or not done—barring abuse, of course), you might find that living among the members of your host family to be a far better experience.

You are dealing with the repercussions of a mugging; that must be very difficult to do alone. As an exchange student, you were placed into a culture that was foreign; and without access to family and friends for support and encouragement, you had to put your faith in a system that was unfamiliar, one that seemed cruel and uncaring. Perhaps there is counselling available to you through the college. If you're still in college, check out that possibility. Find out whatever resources there are for you. Perhaps there is an Asian community that you can lean on.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me. I do wish you all the best.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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