Comments for Child Abuse Story From Patricia

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Jun 01, 2009
The men AND women in your life failed you...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Patricia, "loved by all" only means "unknown by most". You know the truth. And you endured. Alone. Your aunt knew. Your mother eventually knew. Neither of them acted. Both of them enabled the abuse. Each of them had a responsibility to stop him and keep you safe from harm. Each of them failed you, Patricia. Just know that none of it was your fault.

Yes, Oprah said it felt good for her, but not all children experience that, as was your situation. The reason she brought this out is because so many children blame themselves when they DO enjoy it. It was important for her to get the message out that enjoying it doesn?t mean the child wasn't sexually abused; the child WAS sexually assaulted.

As for not disclosing, fear prevented you from reporting him, Patricia. Fear of not being believed. Fear of what would happen with the family if you told. Fear of many things. The fact that your mother beat you and verbally abused you set you up for further abuse at the hands of others. Your fear of HER contributed, in part because she helped to destroy your self-esteem, your sense of self; in part because when children are beaten and verbally abused they do not learn boundaries, they do not learn they have the right to say "no", they learn that their bodies are not their own to rule, they learn they are powerless to the adults around them. Try not to apply adult values to what you did and did not do as a child. Your molester knew you wouldn?t tell...he counted on it. He played on your fears and your vulnerabilities. And he probably wasn't worried about you telling because—especially back all those years ago—he knew the family would take his side over the accusations of a child. He knew he could, and would, get away with it.

Patricia, when you find yourself still smelling him, replace that smell with something pleasant. Remember that he can no longer hurt you. You are in a safe place now. If you still have difficulty with the emotional residue, I recommend some form of counselling. You didn't deserve to be sexually assaulted. You didn't deserve to be verbally and physically assaulted. You DO deserve the help for the fact that you were.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Jun 02, 2009
Please begin to love yourself more and more.
by: maurice

I always cringe now when I read about how small a child was when their abuse began. Oh Patricia heed those caring loving words of Darlene. She is a woman, she has journeyed through her own abuse and is now a professional Lady giving a fantastic service to all her visitors. She certainly has given you some caring words of love and support. She emphtises with each one of her visitors. Each one of us can erase those memories and effects by heeding Darlene's professional loving/caring words and the supports of each other in our comments back. Now Patricia you come along way in your life, you have lived it to the full and the best you knew and succeeded to keep your abuse years at a distance. Be brave, be strong now and let go of them and blossom beautifully in the corner of the world you live. I am a SUN FLOWER As Darlene tells you get the beutiful and wonderful smell scent of a flower to let go of the not so nice smell of abuse from time to time. She's the best Patricia. I know it and so do all her many visitors. Sharing on her site is a beginning, a hope for each one of us to do something ourselves to build up our own self worth/value and live our everyday life to the FULL. Your the best Patricia. Believe it.

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this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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