Comments for Child Abuse Story From Pamela1

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Apr 04, 2010
Pamela:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You don't need advice; you are well on your way toward healing and recovery. Keep up the great work! The rest will fall into place. If not, consider some form of counselling to help you with the repercussions of child abuse, abandonment and betrayal by those who should have been protecting you. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Apr 04, 2010
I used to want to be....
by: Scott Canada



When I was around 7-8 I was abused by my elementary school teacher(early 70's). I hate to think that what was done to me had value or that I benefited from the beatings. I dont want to admit that being "soundly" spanked with my pants and underwear down across a lap in front of the entire classroom of my peers was good for me or being dragged to the teachers lounge and strapped severely on my bare bottom until I blacked out by this woman made me be a good citizen. I hate to admit it but I cant help ask the question again and again.
I began to judge..watching others in school do the same exact things that I had done and yet they weren't beaten. I was afraid. I was scared to death of messing up.I was a good kid!
At 13 I wanted to be a cop. I used to want to be.. Then one day a cop showed up took me out to the back seat of his car and threatened,harassed and terrified me trying to get a confession. After many days of this it was discovered the local criminal had done the break in. Well duh! Yet another authority figure tortured me and my neighbor pointed that cop to me. A paper boy, WITH A JOB!!
If you lived in my fathers house you would understand I didnt do it, without asking. I told him I didnt do it, yet was not believed. But that's an old story. At one time I would have been an excellent snitch for you guys, and I would have loved it..Its just the way I was build, cant explain it. Always watching from the outside. You know me, I'm the weird one everyone makes fun of. The one that spouts about right and wrong like I have 4 heads. Like I was wearing a cape. I was an idiot. Should have just stayed quiet. But I always compared and judged. How couldn't I, the difference was glaring between those who give a s**t and those who dont. I actually cared more for others than myself..
A few years back a bylaw harassment officer writes me up for an unsightly premises. Funny, I can see 5 different yards full of cars etc around here and no one bothers them. One guy has 10 junkers in clear view.. you cant even see my back yard. Another guy runs an illegal salvage operation in his back yard(in the woods) yet someone rats ME out. Just like when I was a kid. I get punished and they do as they please

Ive learned right from wrong though. For a world that does not believe in it. A world that doesn't exist.. And how many laws did she break as she smacked my buttocks and I was rubbing naked across her lap? When does she get punished? When will the world care about what she did? Whens my turn? yet I live in a world of the free who do as they please and walk over you to get it. No constrictions or conscience.
I commend you on your survival Pamela. Now with the power to chase down your abusers. Well done! Your doing good work. Part of me still wishes I could join you, join the other side...go toward the light..on the road paved with the bodies of those who gave a care...I used to believe...I used to want to be.

Apr 06, 2010
Keep up the good work :)
by: Anonymous

Please don't doubt the severity and validity of your abuse. I can see your judgement and personal wisdom shining through.

Much love.

Apr 08, 2010
Good on You. You were brave: You had courage
by: maurice

As far back as i can rememeber since my boarding school days control and power were two real parts of innocent fun and play between children and teenagers. I went to a one sex school: The older boys used be in control if they wanted to fulfill their sexual urges on us the smaller boys. They would drag us into the locker room and forcibly remove our pant and handle us roughly leaving us crying and in fear. I never told anyone at the school or indeed my mother what went on. In my innocence I too did the same only the once to two boys because I knew it was wrong. It was an unreal invironment to grow up in: Yes; for a time I thought I was Gay but realized I was hetrosexual after sharing a relationship with my first girlfriend while home on holidays. So I can understand somewhat all you went through with your cousins. Naughty boys. Great you found the real and true you (you lucky woman) great your children understand too. Pamela 1. you are one very special woamn, You learned the hard way but your the winner out of your abuse. From Victim to victory just like Darlene. She knows best and it is loveing to read her affirming comment to you. Thank you for allowing me to express another side of me that your stroy evoked in me. I am all the better for your story.

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