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Dec 22, 2009
Nikki:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

If you go to the sitemap page on this site you'll find an alphabetized listing of all the stories on this site: more than 1800 in all to date. You'll also find many similar to yours. You most definitely are not alone. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir


Dec 22, 2009
Response to Nikki
by: Peter Schmedding

Nikki,

Your story is indeed heart breaking. I am always shattered when I read about so many similar cases and in so many parts of the world. Having studied human behaviour from an early age, to me there is no doubt that people such as your mother are sick. Their ill behaviour patterns have been handed down from generation to generation. They just cannot help it and carry on in this way without even knowing it.

It may not be easy for you to, as you put it, 'unlock my child hood so maybe i can heal from this' and yet, that would be the key for making your life a success in spite of it all. The first step you have taken already by telling your story to the world. A further step might be to realise that so many before you had to go through miserable experiences to finally succeed. Your case has been extraordinary rough, surely. Once you find a way, however, to deal - and finish - with your past experiences you will live for a better future and you will treasure the richness and beauty of life more than others who did not have to go through such agonies in their lives.

My best wishes go with you.

P.S.

Dec 22, 2009
Wanting to remember , wanting to forget.
by: Scott Canada

I do sympathize with you because I too had abusive experiences in childhood.
I cant recall much of my elementary school years (grades 2-4), in my opinion, because of the torture I endured there some 36 years ago. I would like to unlock it to remember, to deal with it, but I would also like to forget.
There are some serious lapses in memory that I feel are locked away inside of my mind perhaps to keep them from doing harm to me. I would like to know what happened to me that was so bad that I had to block it out, or is it that I just had a complete mental breakdown altogether?
I would love to be like my old school mates and say that I had a great school experience...."Remember when?" , but it has this dark cloud over it.
I just read in the paper today that a man was sentenced to house arrest for *bare bottom* spanking his 5 year old son. The little boy couldn't sit down the next day.
I shake my head at what that teacher got away with. When she was done with me, many times I couldn't sit down either and no one said a word!

Dec 22, 2009
So many crimes committed...
by: Anonymous

Nikki, I really hope that you are in a safe place now and that sick and sadistic excuse of a mother will get incarcerated for all those terrible and sadistic crimes that she committed against you because she is a truly cruel, sick, sadistic and animalistic individual to do such things to you. However, I am glad that you might get ready to get help; I'm thinking of hypnotherapy as well because of what my so-called family had done to me. I wish you all the best. Be brave, Nikki, and stay strong.

Dec 23, 2009
A mother who abuses her child should be locked away
by: maurice

Nikki5. My mother was a single mom all my life, she sure cradled me, kept me safe while I was around her. cared for my every need. Sadly now in hindsight and eduaction I should have told her of my abuse at the hands of others. I wanted to save her from that worry. For me every woman who becomes a mothers is special. birthing from her womb a very special and precious child is the most natural thing for her to do. Yet so many who do including your mother never acknowledge such a gift and a blessing. abusing it and threating it like a rag doll. Your mother was sadistic and cruel to you. Why nobody intervened to safeguard you I'll never know. Please seek help from a counsellor and have a friend or two who will show you real love and trust. and who you can trust. these are outside your boy/girl friendships, one may go through many of these in one's life. BUT a sturdy and faithful true friend stands by you forever.

Dec 23, 2009
thank you guys and here a lil more that i remember
by: nikki5

I would like to thank you for all your beautiful comments so thank you...... I thought that what my mum was doing to me was normal it scared the crap out of me when she used to come running at me cause i knew that what ever she was going to do was going to really hurt.....i have had one memory come back since writting this story i see my self very small i think i may have been around 6yrs old i asked my mum for a drink and she pushed me down the stairs which left me with grazis all on my legs and on the side of my face she is so heartless and was saying sorry to me because she was scared of getting in trouble she did not feel bad one bit for what she had did to me i think she thinks that i deserved it my mother has no emotions i know she had a bad childhood growing up but she has made my childhood worse then what hers ever was she even married a sick pathetic husband that molested me she knows what he did to me i took him to court and did not win the case cause there wasent anafe evidances she walked out of that court room smileing and didnt even look at me she is still with him and i had asked her would she still be with him if he was found gulity and sent to jail her answer YES.......

Dec 23, 2009
Wow...
by: Anonymous

Nikki, I'm so sorry to hear the part of your last comment about that equally sick monster of a man...and I am truly disgusted at the fact that your so-called mother who keeps choosing him over you and refuses to protect you. I really hate women who choose men over their own flesh and blood...especially their own children! When will she realize that all children should always come first? I am still hurting for you...

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From Victim to Victory
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How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life

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