Comments for Child Abuse Story From Neil

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May 14, 2011
Neil:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Children don't "earn" the right to a family; that's a given. Your family was taken away from you in horrible ways. The wounds and scars you're nursing keep re-opening, and it seems salt gets rubbed in as well. You're dealing with stuff that most adults never have to go through. It's not fair; you deserve so much more and so much better. The reality is you can't change what happened in your past. You can only make choices for your Self now. Choices that can and will lead you to a place inside yourself that you can be proud of. You are NOT unlovable. You are troubled. You have a lot of baggage you're carrying. If you keep filling up that baggage, it will be too heavy to carry. It already is. You see, Neil, you're worthy of dignity and respect and love; and that starts with YOU. If you don't think highly enough of yourself to treat yourself well, then others will follow your lead. There comes a time in every man's life where he has to decide on the kind of man he's going to be. Are you going to be the kind of man who walks the earth always angry, getting into more and more trouble, abusing yourself in similar ways your caregivers abused you. Or are you going to be the kind of man who treats himself with dignity and respect and self love. Are you going to be the kind of man who makes decisions based on what's in your best interest rather than what's in your worst interest. Your time to decide has come earlier than most. Lean on the support system that's available to you, whatever form that takes. Clean yourself up. Make decisions wherever you can that are healthy, not self-destructive. You deserve that, Neil, you really do. I hope you can see that for yourself. You sound ready, but only YOU can decide. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

May 14, 2011
So many crimes committed
by: Anonymous

Neil, you were given a raw deal. I am sorry to hear about your sadistic stepmother and your neglectful father. You deserved so much better than to endure such barbaric beatings at the hands of such a twisted brute of a woman. Oh, and shame on your dad for running away from you instead of protecting you from that sicko of a stepmother! You are not to blame for her sadistic behavior as well as your dad's negligent behavior; they are to blame because they chose to abuse you. You were the child; they were the adults; they had all the power and only misused it over you, so please tell someone you really trust and keep telling until he/she will finally listen to you and help you.

May 15, 2011
Neil -
by: From my heart...

Having someone that loves you is NOT something you should have to earn. EVERYONE deserves to be loved and cared about by someone, especially you, being that you've been missing it your whole life. Your life has truly been a series of tragedies till now, and you're in so much pain you can't even think straight about continuing life healthily because all you can think about is trying to get rid of the pain from moment to moment. When you're in so much pain, it's hard to act like any other normal kid. But don't give up on yourself, don't slowly kill yourself and your mind in the process of trying to escape...

You really deserve having someone who loves you, just as much as every kid in the world does. I hope with all my heart that this happens for you, because you really need it so badly. But you have to help make that happen for yourself. You shouldn't have to, and it's so wrong that you do, but as things are, you do. That's different than earning it though, it's helping make it happen. Being that you're not getting love and care from a family, try to find yourself a friend, by being a friend to someone else. Try to find someone who is also in desperate need of love, and see if you can help each other out and being there for each other. Try, really hard, it's not easy putting yourself out there, it really isn't. But I find it difficult to believe that you're really not a likeable person. You really sound like a good kid who wants to do the right thing, you're just misdirected because of the intense lack of love in your life. Look for someone you think you maybe could share some of yourself and your heart with. Don't hold yourself in even if that may seem less painful; try to find someone that you can even remotely lean on, because if you don't, it will be infinitely harder for you to make it out with your with your heart and mind intact.

I wish you much luck, and if you get nothing else out of this, know that there's someone out there who really cares about whether or not you get through this and move on to finally becoming happy.... Stay strong...

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