Comments for Child Abuse Story From Name Undisclosed16

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May 25, 2009
 Part 1: Confused feelings about your mother...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You have a right to feel sick. It is possible to you?re your mother "to death" yet still be very angry and resentful for what she did and did not do. Your mother most definitely failed you when she didn't protect you from your father. She owed it to you to step up and keep you safe. She knew another girl had accused him of inappropriate behaviour, yet she continued to put you at risk. And then, THEN, she turned a blind eye when you disclosed to her what her sex offender husband had been doing to you all those years. If you have sisters, it is quite likely they too were molested by him. Your mother was an enabler. You have every right to feel the way you do.

Your father groomed and seduced you. He took advantage of your youth and your naiveté. He stole your innocence. And then he told you it was okay and natural. He programmed you to not disclose the secret. I point you toward my sex offenders page. There you'll find some words from offenders, words (or a version of them) that your own father may well have said to you. I point you there because I want you to know that you are not alone. That what you experienced with your father is typical of sex offenders. Two other pages on my site that you might find helpful:See Part 2: Don't beat yourself up for not telling sooner... below.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
May 25, 2009
 Part 2: Don't beat yourself up for not telling sooner...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

There are many reasons victims of sexual abuse do not tell. The number 1 reason is fear of not being believed. What's important to understand is that you are not to blame. You did NOTHING wrong. Don't beat yourself up for not telling sooner. Don't put adult values on things you did and didn't do as a child. You were NOT complicit in this. Your father is the one at fault for all that happened to you because he was the adult. He knew what he was doing was wrong. And he did everything he could for you to feel sorry for him. Don't EVER judge yourself for that. There was a dynamic present between you and your father. This was as a result of him grooming you. There is no shame for you to bear; shame lies squarely on the shoulders of this sick excuse for a human being.

But I must also point out something else...if you don't take steps to disclose to the authorities what he did to you, other girls will continue to be at risk by him. Please, report him for his criminal acts against you. Even if you aren't ever able to get justice for yourself—justice you deserve—reporting really could prevent others from suffering the same fate you did.

You need help dealing with all the feeling and the confusing emotions, about both your father and mother. I urge you to seek out some form of counselling in order to deal with those feelings. You didn't deserve to be molested and sexually assaulted. You DO deserve to get help for the fact that you were.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
May 25, 2009
 What happened to you was terrible
by: Tiffany

It is terrible what your father did to you. I am so sorry. I can only imagine how confusing it must be for your mother to have been so kind and patient and yet have failed to keep you safe. Especially since there had been charges against your father, she should have known to protect you - and to at least believe you and take action when you spoke up. it's ok to be confused. therapy will make such a difference. know that what happened says nothing about you - it says something about your parents. your father has a problem to have done that to you; it was not ok. you are precious. you deserve a bright future. wishing you all the best.

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
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How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life

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