Comments for Child Abuse Story From Mrs S

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Feb 05, 2009
Heartless people have not left YOU heartless...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I understand how even the tiniest sliver of love and kindness can go so far in keeping you afloat, and how as a child you would hang on to that sliver of love and kindness as though it was a lifeline; because it WAS a lifeline, especially when just about every moment of your life was rife with heinous abuse at the hands of the very people you trusted and who were entrusted to care for you. It begs the question: If not for the love of at least one person, who could possibly survive such atrocities? You were remarkably resilient, Mrs. S; but like you, I believe that without your mother to reach out and show that you were lovable (even if that love and kindness was at best sporadic and unreliable) you would likely have taken your own life.

As for that surgeon, what he did to you was nothing short of criminal. His felonious ignorance at your suicidal cry for help could have been your demise, which would have made him guilty of murder. He will have a karmic debt to pay for his immoral act against you.

You said you received lots of therapy. I gather this was over and above what you had received when in hospital during that desolate time as a young woman. I have learned that healing and recovery from child abuse is a choice, a choice that one may have to make not just once, but many times over the course of one's life. Your turning point was at 21 years of age, on the day in that hospital under the could-care-less hands of that callous surgeon. But you still had to pick yourself up and make the decision to move forward. You gave yourself what few ever did: dignity, respect and compassion. You defied the odds; and by doing so, you went on to enrich your life with friends, a husband, and two precious sons. You did not allow those heartless people in your life to rob you of your capacity to love. You have a very big heart; and I for one hold you in very high regard.

Keep writing, but do it for you, Mrs. S. Writing can be cathartic, and you may find that doing so will release you from the haunts of those still-remaining ghosts.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Feb 05, 2009
Thanks
by: Mrs.R

Thank you for reading and printing the part of Doors Wide Open. I hope my opening like this will assist others to look inside themselves and find their inner strengths. When I look back now I realize one of my saving graces was, that I put myself around positive people, even though at the time I was not aware of this. People that encouraged me forwards not backwards. That really does play a big part in the healing of a person is what kind of energy is around them.

"Stay In The Light"

Feb 05, 2009
An uncaring system
by: Francine

Mrs. S, this story of yours really made me mad! I'm sorry for what you went through at the hands of those that were supposed to love and protect you from harm; I can relate! Like you, I always knew that no one would take my side...but at least your mom protected you sometimes. However, your mom really needs help. I'd seriously suggest that she would try counselling or therapy cuz either way, that is the real help that she deserves. And I'm also glad that you met the psychiatrist because no one deserves to live like that. Too bad your grandpa died cuz that pervert should've been in prison first. I am hurting for you and I wish you and your family all the best. Stay strong.

Feb 06, 2009
I'm So Sorry
by: Linda

I am 52 years old and when I read your story, it was like reading about my own life. We also lived in poverty and the kids at school made fun of me and my siblings because we were dirty. It was eight of us kids, and we took turns washing out of an old washpan or a puddle after it rained. But, this comment is about you,not me. I want to tell you I am happy you finally found the good life you so much deserved! Your grandfather is hopefully burning in hell now for what he did to you. It makes me sick. " WHERE HAVE ALL THE REAL MEN GONE IN THIS WORLD?" I'm sorry about your mom being mentally ill, it is so sad. I wish all the best in the world, Mrs. S....Thank you for sharing your story with us, It helps me in my life to know I'm not alone in my childhood abuse. The secret we're afraid to tell. When we do tell, no one wants to believe us...God Bless You.

Feb 14, 2009
Behind Opened Doors
by: Mrs. R

Thank you for responding so positively to my pain. RE: my poor mum was in her mid 4os and lived in a 6plex building. She apparently had reg. staff comming in to make sure she took her medication. Well then due to government cut backs this help stopped, she became lost in the system.
I don't know how long it was before a neighbour noticed a terrible smell comming from her flat.
When they found her she was huddled in a fetal position in the corner of the kitchen surrounded by urine and feces.....her body had open sores. The voices and hallucinations were so severe she was afraid to move. Thank God I did not see this. The Social Worker who was assigned to her after the fact told us about this. My mum then had to be institutionalized, she went to the Lord in 1991 at age 61......Her doors were wide open too, her family lived just streets away.....It took me along time to stop blaming myself for being so bad and then not being there for my mother. I tried when I was about 18 to go live with her....but I ended up in the mental hospital and she also did. We were not allowed to see each other in the mental hospital which was in Bridgend South Glamorgan.
There was so much pain and suffering we were both crying into the air, our family turned their backs, we were both lost souls......

Feb 16, 2009
I'm so sorry
by: Elaine

I was heartbroken when I read this. I cannot even begin to imagine even a fraction of what you had to endure in your life. I'm so sorry you had to go through this, I really am.

You may think this is terribly impolite of me...and had I been able to contact you in any other way, I would have.

I am currently in the process of designing a book which is due to be self published within the next few days. The book is all about families....good and bad....and tells stories of normal family life, together with stories of child abuse. As well as contributions of writing from adults and children right across the UK, people have also contributed art work, poetry and photography. All proceeds from the sale of this book are being donated to the NSPCC in memory of Baby P and all the other children who have lost their lives through abuse.

I would so much like to publish your story...anonymously if you wish. Of course, I would never do this without your consent.

My apologies for contacting you in this manner. I am hesitant to leave my contact details here, however would you be so kind to reply to my here on this site? Of course, I can give you more deatails if you wish.

My prayers are with you. x

Feb 17, 2009
Thank You
by: Mrs R

Hallo Elaine, thank you for your loving thoughts, I appreciate this. I actually am in the middle of writing my autobiography of my life, so far I have about 60 pages written on my laptop. I would like to know more about what you are putting together and maybe I could give you something more. I have all my records from all the years that I spent in mental hospitals, and the info about the Electric Shock Treatments that was done on me even though I did not want them. I would like somehow to be able to communicate to you privately by E-mail, any idea how we can do this.

Feb 17, 2009
Elaine and Mrs R:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

These last two posts have put me in a very compromising position, Elaine and Mrs R. I have to tell you both that I cannot set a precedent by allowing the two of you to share email addresses on this site. Other visitors read these pages; I cannot make an allowance for any contributor. But please, I ask that you not forget the purpose of this site and what it is I'm trying to do with it. It was one thing to gain permission to include the story that was posted here in a hard copy publication. But it is quite another to use the comments as a way to connect in order to negotiate something beyond that. Please understand the dilemma I'm faced with here. The Internet is a wonderful thing, and through social networking it can bring people together who are looking for one another. But this is not a social networking site and the two of you don't know each other, other than through the pages here. This site is a place for people to disclose the child abuse they suffered, and a place where others (myself included) can offer validating and supportive comments. My top priority has to be the safety of those who visit here. I trust you both can appreciate where I'm coming from with regard to this.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir


Feb 22, 2009
I Understand
by: Elaine D

I completely understand, Darlene, that the safety of the people who open their hearts on this site is paramount. I would never want to do anything to jeopordise that.

I would like to thank Mrs S for allowing me to use her story in the book. It's a just a shame that I won't be able to contact her with any more details about it and where it will be available, because I obviously don't want to use your site for promotional purposes. If in this instance you feel happy to pass my email details over to Mrs S, I am more than happy for you to do that.

As I mentioned previously, I am just trying to help...to raise money for the NSPCC.

Many thanks for your reply.

From Darlene: Thank you for your understanding, Elaine. It took several days to approve your comment (I finally had to re-post it) because of some system issues.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir



Feb 22, 2009
Understand
by: Mrs R

Good luck Elaine with your fund raising, it's a very good cause indeed. One day you will see my book published, I have about 80 pages written so far, but i still have away to go lol

Darlene I understand the reasoning behind the confidentiality and i respect that, it is good to know that our personal info. is private.

Unfortunately words cost nothing to type, we do not know really who is typing them.

From Darlene: You are so right when you say that we do not know who is really typing the words. Safety on this site is a primary concern for me. Thank you for understanding.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

May 03, 2009
your strength
by: Anonymous

is very encouraging. it gives me hope in mankind...

May 20, 2011
You sure are one brave woman: Good on you for being so:
by: maurice

great you seemed to have reached a deep part within you to say I don't hate my abusers: You are a blessed woman especially after all that happened to you as a child. teenager, adolecent, young woman: Therapy is one sure way of getting it all in perspective for you: Yes: it seems to have worked and I am so delightyed for you: You sure give a very loving message to all visitors to darlene's site that some form of counselling therapy is neccessary and essential for to begin the process of healing in the hope that we all might reach your level of forgiveness: For me I can never for give totally because he ruined my life and even still: but I have let go of the memories and the times he beat me and I am at a good stage on the road to complete forgiveness: You give me hope that it is possible: Darlene's comment to you gave me real hope in reality of it all

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.



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