Comments for Child Abuse Story From Mike

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Jan 15, 2011
Mike:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Anyone who believes a child can consent to sexual activity is someone who is very confused and twisted in their thinking. Children CANNOT consent, period. It's not about the fact that it feels good, (the fact is, sexual stimulation does feel good), it's about the fact that a person in a position of power and authority over you took advantage of your vulnerabilities. Your uncle "groomed" you, Mike, and took advantage of your vulnerabilities; that's what sexual abuse is all about. And now you need help with the residual of the abuse you went through. I understand that opening up is risky, but if you have any hope of dealing with the repercussions and living your life the way you want to live your life, you're going to need professional help. Please consider some form of counseling. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir



Jan 15, 2011
Hope you heal enough to feel safe as a father :)
by: Anonymous

A very brave and balanced account, and I commend you on your proactiveness. But yes, please follow Darlene's advice! A burden like this is too confusing and heavy to carry without the objectivity and skill of professional help.

Jan 17, 2011
Good luck!
by: Anonymous

Sexual abuse does hurt, but I agree with everyone you can't deal with your urges alone, please seek help.

Jan 18, 2011
Always believe in yourself: Get help: I will: I can: I must because I am WORTH it
by: maurice

Mike, your story will truly help others who liked what was happening to them by an older sibling or family member Aunts/uncles/baby-sitters etc: As children we are so innocent, so vunerable, so trusting that we play-games that seem pleasing and right to play at the time: We know no better: That is the groomer, the child molester in the other doing it to us: We as children were never to blame: When the older boys and girls around me at home did similiar acts on me and even in boarding school I felt good too because I felt some-one liked/loved me in a special and trustinmg way: Yes, the effects are as you have written them, confused, wrong feelings in trying to make a sense of how innocent and vunerable as a child you were while your uncle messed up your mind: Mike it is great you have shared your story ever so openly and honesty on Darlene's site Now you can begin to think positive, Act positive and be positive in your mind and heart to getting help to put it all in perspective for you: That is what counselling will do: You will be fine, you are an intelligent young adult< Be strong, stay strong in your belief in your self: You are a normal mature thinking male: with a little bit of counselling you'll see things differently: You'll value and appreciate what Darlene has written to you from her heart: You have good friends: you trust yourself, you value and respect yourself: You won't hurt a child: I pray that you will trust yourself to build a healthy relationship, have children whom you'll love and cherish: value and resepct because these in turn will help you to be strong and loving and Always believe in yourself: I WILL I CAN: I MUST: because I am WORTH it: Keep having a healthy mind in a healthy body:

Jan 18, 2011
your story reminds me of my abuse
by: im a soldier

your story reminds me of somebody called mike he abused me i consented to it i was 15 at the time it felt good but also the fact i wanted to run away from home, i would have lived with him at the time he was abused he enjoyed it and he never regretted it he was 14 or something now i see him for what he is a sick dirty paedophile. I wish i got away earlier, I havn't reported him i don't want to go through anything again ive been through enough already i get depressed and i stay in the house because im too depressed to do anything, I was sacked from work because i was still in a relationship with him till 18 i stopped the sexual abuse i met a girl but still kept in contact with him anyway straight to the point he's ruined my life i am receiving councelling and the more stories i read the more i feel better about myself because i know im not the only one. But one thing i am deeply ashamed of is the effect it has had on me, it's in my mind sometimes i see children i just get on with my life i do shopping but when i get home its quiet i think of my past and everything, I could never let a child go through what i have been through but thats what you have to think of you wanted a girl but your still a virgin you drink with mates but you think of that boy why do you want him as a son just think of what you have been through do you want him to go through the same.

Jan 18, 2011
Mike
by: Anonymous

Good things are around the corner. Your feelings are all screwed up but you do need help to sort them out. You already know what is so wrong but your past blinds you. You think you are guilty of some diabolical act but you are not. Mike you were just a kid and your uncle abused you. He hurt you in so many ways that i do not even know were to start. You can love your nieces and nephews without feeling scared but you do need help to sort out your past and your feelings.

Jan 19, 2011
Good Luck
by: Anonymous

Yes, Good Luck Mike. I'm on this site because of my own sexual abuse (mother) so you are not alone. You sound like you have a good understanding of what happened and are wise to think forward to when you are a father. Maybe discuss this with your future wife and you can get valuable support. The important thing is not to pass this on and do harm. Be strong.

Jan 24, 2011
Just talk to someone.
by: H

As a adult i was raped,I always thought i could handle it,I always thought i was doing a good job at keeping my sanity,I was doing well till 15 yrs later i started having nightmares,screaming in my sleep,I hated answering the door cause i always thought there would be someone on the other side waiting to attack me.My point is u may be handeling it well now,u know ur limits.I'm wondering if this will all catch up with u?Like it did me.Not saying it will everyones different but,Trust me it feels so much better talking to someone.When i talked to a rape counselor 17 yrs later i had emotions come out i did'nt know i was feeling.Your handeling it well but don't wate till ur emotions get the better of u.

Jan 24, 2011
Simply: Always believe in yourself:
by: maurice

Be brave: Be strong: work at This Mike: You are strong: You sure are aware of your fears: Darlene sure has given you words to work with for you to truly trust your natural ability to love your nieces and nephews: You NOW know your Uncle groomed you: You were innocent: You were abused by him: This time after a few recent comments to you: All I want to offer you this time is to learn to trust your wonderful and beautiful self: Deep within you John you sure want to be safe around children and especially nieces and nephews: Taking one day at a time: You'll suucceed being valued by them: Have a real friend or two outside building a relationship: Deep trust with someone special will in time allow you to share the fear you have about abusing children you may have in the future: Look after your NOW feelings: Deal with them and I have no doubt you will be happy and at peace:

Apr 27, 2011
Bad news
by: Frank

Hey Mike, I was a victim of sexual,physical and
mental abuse from my mother and my stepfather and
It was BAD NEWS from the time I was 3 until I 14
that Is the way It started until my stepfather got
his friends Involved. But that Is not why I'm on
here I`m here to tell you that the lady Darlene only knows what she reads unless she walked In your shoes, I have been In therapy for the past 11 years I should had been there a lot sooner then that but It took me to check my self In to a mental hospital. Every story Is different so when your said when your uncle was doing what he was doing to you at that time you felt the why you did that Is normal, If he din`t force you things are different because It was a game but that has been with you a long time, at that time It Is sexual abuse after he moved you steel though about him but you din`t miss the abuse so now It`s called mental abuse because of the part of your friends party with his brother. I`m not here to tell you what to do and who to see but I think you know what to do. Hey I was diagnose with P.T.S.D and bipolar and sever depression plus 5 months ago I had a triple buy pass so don`t let no one tell you how you fill. Thanks Frank

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