Comments for Child Abuse Story From Michelle

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Feb 06, 2008
It WASN'T your fault!
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Michelle, you have NOTHING to be ashamed of or feel guilty for. Your molesting father was the one to blame. HE is the one who shoulders the shame and the guilt. He took advantage of your youth, your vulnerability, and your naivety and used it against you. You did NOTHING wrong. You did nothing to bring this onto yourself. You couldn't have changed the way he behaved toward you because he had all the power, and he so misused that power. He should be made to pay for the rest of his miserable life for what he did to you. Fathers aren't supposed to sexually assault their daughters. Fathers are supposed to protect their daughters from harm. And so are their mothers.

You mother should have protected you. And if she didn't know about what he was doing to you, SHE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. She should have seen the signs; they MUST have been evident. She should have heard your screams. She failed you too, Michelle. She has a lot to answer for.

I'm glad to hear that you are trying to change your way of thinking. Although you can't change the way you feel, you can change the way you think, which in turn will change the way you feel. But I believe you need help with changing your thinking. If you haven't already done so, I strongly urge you to seek out some form of counselling. A professional help can help you to put this in the proper perspective. You're worth that proper perspective, Michelle.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Feb 06, 2008
Oh No!
by: Francine

OMG Michelle, your dad is a pervert! I'm so sorry! =[

Feb 07, 2008
Keep trying
by: Elaine

Michelle, I read your story with horror. Nobody should have to put up with such abuse. I can understand why you left home - you really do need to be in a safe place.

I can understand that you feel very confused about everything that happened, and wonder if you may be to blame. You did not do anything wrong to bring this upon yourself. You are correct to believe that your father set you up for it throughout your childhood - it's called "grooming".

In a good, ideal situation, parents should be there to love, care for, protect and support their kids. But unfortunately there are parents out there who don't. I know this, as my parents were abusive too. When this happens, I believe it's because the parent (or parents) have problems, not the child. Abuse happens when parents are in the wrong, either deliberately or by accident. Sometimes it can be because a parent is mentally unwell, or has a drug or alcohol problem. Sometimes abuse is linked to divorce or domestic violence. Sometimes it's because a parent is stressed, or because they were abused too as a child. They might even try to kid themselves that it's normal or acceptable behaviour.

Abuse is NOT acceptable. It has horrible consequences for the person who got abused; making them feel confused, worthless, frustrated, guilty, angry... I believe that every child wants and deserves to feel safe and happy and loved with their parents: and it is very sad when this does not happen. When someone is abused, they try to seek reasons why it happened to them, and sometimes they come to the wrong conclusion that it is their fault. This is because abuse is about lies and emotional manipulation too. You may be told you are "bad" or "dirty" or "stupid". Threats might be involved. Or you might be kidded into believing that you are "extra special" or "really beautiful"... abusers will use flattery, gifts, threats, taunts... basically anything that ensures that they can continue the abuse and not risk being found out.

Surely this tells you something? Abusers are weak. They have a probem. You DO NOT. You are STRONG. There are ways to turn your thinking around, but you should try to seek help. You could try Counselling or support groups. Look for someone you can trust to talk to. You may benefit from help to begin to see yourself in a new light. Take care of yourself...

Feb 07, 2008
absolute pig!
by: Anonymous

Michelle im doing my year 12 english oral on child abuse, this story was absolutely horrific, I personally believe sexual predators such as your dad should never have a chance at life. Your better than anything word he decided to sum you up as, never doubt it for a second.

Feb 07, 2008
sorry
by: Anonymous

I'm very sorry what had happened to you and I been molested by my sister and cousins and lots of other people for 16 years and its not your fault at all you did nothing wrong!!your dad was a jerk sorry if it offenets that I said that about your but hun don't give up fight we are very strong people!!

Mar 06, 2008
your story
by: Anonymous

men like your father should all be exposed for what they are. Early On!
It's too bad they usually get away with it and they leave an innocent person to languish with guilt for the rest of their lives.

Jun 11, 2009
me2
by: Anonymous

my dad rapes me alot when my mom is not around i am 12 it started almost right after i turnd 12 i love my dad but i want him 2 stop i do not no how 2 tell anyone so i am doing this i am afrad of him so i don't no if he could hert me even more than he alredy did

From Darlene: TELL someone, me2. A trusted teacher, a counsellor, the parents of a friend, someone. What your father is doing to you is not right. I urge you to contact Child Help (http://www.childhelp.org/get_help) at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) in order to talk to someone about the sexual abuse your father is putting you through. They are staffed 24/7 with professionally trained counsellors who will listen to you. They are not a reporting agency, although they can help you through the process of reporting if you decide to disclose the abuse. And you need to disclose the abuse. Your father is committing a criminal act. Please report it.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Aug 18, 2010
wat should i do?
by: pre

I have the same problem with my dad and brother wat do i do? It started wen i was 6 now i. Thirteen iM so scared
i told my mom she didnt believe me

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