Comments for Child Abuse Story From Mary4

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Jul 21, 2009
 You are not alone...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Mary, I did receive your other submissions, but kept them on hold because they were incomplete (especially the second one) and because you stated you would write more. I'm very glad you did write again.

While we don't hear of mother on daughter sexual assault all that often, it does happen, as is evidenced by your story. So please don't think you are all alone just because you haven't read very many stories on this site (or elsewhere) about such abuse. They are out there, but perhaps we need more people like you to speak out about it in order for it to come to the surface. Another reason I'm glad you wrote.

Your mother purposely isolated you by moving you to the country. Without the eyes of others, she was free to do what she pleased. I'm not convinced that parading you around nude was what caused the other sexual abuse; rather, I believe she exposed you to other sexual assaults by parading you as a sexual object. As you said, she encouraged advances toward you. Clearly, she was sick, perverted and unfit for motherhood.

I'm here to tell you, Mary, that you have no shame to bear. None of this is on you. You didn't tell because of fear; fear that was understandable; the worst of which was likely the fear of not being believed. You may still feel that fear. After all, most of society does not want to believe mothers—the nurturers, the caregivers, the ones who labour to give birth—are capable of such heinous crimes. But mothers are capable of such crimes; you and I both know that, Mary. Certainly your mother was capable of that crime. But that makes her the sick one, not you. I hope you are able to seek out some form of counselling in order to help you with the repercussions of enduring such sexual abuse and enabling of it as well. You certainly deserve it.

And just for the record, your writing is perfect.

One more thing before I sign off, Mary...for the benefit of all my visitors, this will be my last time personally commenting on submissions for this site, other than to say a thank you, as I must focus on writing and other child abuse related aspirations that will allow me to reach many more people. Stories, commentaries, articles, and comments will still be accepted and encouraged.

I thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Jul 21, 2009
 great from your first telling of your story You were sure to return.
by: maurice

What a professional/natural intuition of Darlene.she may believe that by writing her book she will reach more. Ah sure you reached her, she reached out to you in her comment. you are ever so lucky, blessed, that she made her loving comment to you. Take note of her heartfelt loving observations of her knowledge coming from her own abuse. Her empathy with you is real, human, honest, woman, total heart, So Mary, value you your own self worth/esteem. A mother doing what she did to you is in great need of help. using/abusing you to live out her own failure to acknowledge her motherhood and the birthing of a beautiful child. She was not nice, she was wrong in exposing you to be abused and shamed by herself and others in the nude. Wrong, wrong, very wrong. Hi Mary 4. You brought out the best, the heart of Darlene in her comment to you. Hopefully you have allowed her space to acknowledge a question. My love comments to those who visit my site or writing a book which may benefit or help more. You have questioned her most natural attribute. good on you.
Jul 27, 2009
 A Pervert for a Mother
by: Anonymous

Mary, what your mother did to you is disgusting and way beyond us. I'm sorry about what you went through. Your mother is a sick woman who needs to be put away for sexually abusing you because no one ever deserves to be raped, let alone masturbated. If you're an adult, I hope you live in a safe place now...far away from that pervert. I also hope that you try counselling.
Jul 31, 2009
 Be strong
by: kristen

Hi Mary,
I am just writing to say I understand some of your pain. What you experienced would have been so disempowering.

Clothing was a really big issue for me when I was growing up. Although I was never molested the way you were, My mother used to select all my clothes and my hair style and she would often dress me even into my late teens, I would just stand there naked while she put the clothes on me. Always dresses and skirts and often really short ones.

I remember being so totally selfconcious and this was reinformed at home where mdesty was oh just so important and that I should not be seen naked by men yet even the teeniest amount of clothing was deemed OK and everything had to be approved by my father. So my mother and I would go shopping for clothes that she would choose and we got home I would be paraded in front of him for approval. Many times I would stand in front of him in a bra and panty set while he inspected me and gave his approval. When people came to viit at night and I was in my night clothes, often a very short baby doll style nitee, I would be called to come and meet various adults and as a teenager dressed this way I was supposed to just converse naturally. They would be fully dressed and here I was in this skimpy night dress making small talk. So disempowering.

Here I am going on about me when I really wanted to say that in a way I understand and I pray for you but I also dont understand the overt sexual abuse but just encourage you to be strong and to be yourself.

k

Oct 19, 2011
 the company...?
by: My Two Cents

To start with, I have read parts 1 to 6. I thought commenting on each story would be better than one big comment at the end. Hopefully you see them.

Your writing is perfect. I could clearly picture what is going on in my mind so, perfect, Mary. I understand what happened.

Your mother is a perverted woman who made an evil choice to meet her own sexual needs through you, her daughter. That's all on her. None of it is your fault and I hope you never think it is.

The one thing that is confusing me is the behaviour of the company. Obviously, your mom invited the company over so she knew them, maybe they had some sense of loyalty to your mom or something. I'm a little shaken that nobody called child welfare though. I can't imagine being on a visit to a friend's and their 8 year old kid is parading arouind in the nude...I'd be calling child welfare and 911 to report it.

If your mom somehow found perverts and intentionally brought them home... The mind boggles. How does she find these people? (Skipping ahead to part 6), the people she encouraged to put sunscreen lotion on you, does she have some way of figuring out which ones would be interested in abusing you? Bah. It's not really important.

I just wish she had asked the wrong person so the abuse could have come to light.

Be well.

My Two Cents.

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