Comments for Child Abuse Story From Martha Y

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Feb 21, 2011
Martha:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

The anger is fresh and raw right now; I understand that. Distancing yourself from your brother is probably a healthy thing for you. The fact that you now remember tells me that you are now ready to deal with what happened, where you were not before. Also consider that what happened to you puts you in a unique position to help others, especially given the work you do. In other words, there is purpose to what happened to you. Consider some form of counseling to help you further, Martha. Books by Byron Katie and Colin Tipping might also be helpful to you, as long as you keep an open mind to the processes they have to offer. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Feb 22, 2011
forgiven
by: Anonymous

The man that hurt me the most is dead but his son who also took advantage of me is still alive he is my stepbrother,I have a little sister that is his sister too,I am trying to talk to him to heal myself,maybe he didn't know any better I am trying to forgive him to heal myself but I am older now he won't touch me again.It happened can't go back and change it.Have to forgive people for my own wellness,tired of living in the past reliving it everyday,my older sister who also had things done to her said don't let them take your life hold your head up,be strong,don't let them bring you down,it happened can't change it,but it is not in your life anymore.I do still replay those things in my head but I have to stop myself from going there,it only hurts and tired of hurting.So I look for the light of GOD because he will always be there for me,he takes me to a better place just like he did when i was being abused,I escaped from my body,and mind.

Aug 13, 2012
comment
by: Martha Y

I have finally came to the conclusion that a man that would do this to a girl or a woman has a very low empathic view. Females are objects to satisfy them. Culture has played a large role in what they think about women. We are made to serve, and be there for them. The other factors that contribute to molestation include the cycles of abuse that flow through families. It goes on from one generation to the next. Somehow, men hear that it is okay to do this to a relative. In homes where this had not occured, it is considered a large taboo, that would cause a severe conflict in family relationships.

Incest is just another place where females are not honored or respected. We are mere objects that are to be used for their sexual pleasure. They justify and rationalize any guilt they may have through things like she wanted it. They lie to themselves, and it works for them all to often. The girl sits sadly in the corner crying.

I will never understand men. I have been married for 31 years, and for years it did not matter how tired, how sick, and how many times I said no sex was going to happen. If I didn't give in, I was kept awake all night. He admits that he had issues, and that he doesn't know why he acted this way.

During those years that included at least 16 years of our marriage, he could not have compassion for a person that was raped. Many times, we would talk about a crime that had just been commented in our area. He inevitably believed she ask for it. I used to say now what? Then I would explain the bruises and cuts the lady had on her after the rape. I had had to humanize women for him. His family taught him they were mere objects to serve them.

Ladies need to made aware of their rights and their value. We do not deserve to be hurt sexually. We have a right to say no, and no means no. It does not mean maybe. Body language plays a large part in the communication it takes to create a no means no atmosphere. Leave the room if you have to. Tell authorities if incest is occuring. Tell a trusted relative before it happens. Trust your intuition. If the person, feels like a creep stay away from them. Educate yourself!

Men are complex beings. I know I have sterotyped the male species here, but I have never been around a man that treated a lady as she should be treated. I had a good daddy, but my mama went through a lot. I hope one day we are respected for what we go through every month during menses, and the entire childbirth process. Right now, I feel we are mere objects to appease their sexual needs or desires. So, I have set my sexual value very high, since that is my largest bargaining tool.

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