Comments for Child Abuse Story From Mark

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Jun 26, 2008
A sinister, legal and "accepted" form of abuse...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Mark, your mother's ritualistic and ceremonious method of administering so-called "discipline" point toward a far more sinister form of abuse, a form of abuse that society accepts and in many cases, applauds. If you haven't already, I suggest you read my article on this site titled Can childhood spankings be administered because of or lead to a spanking fetish? I believe your mother falls into the category I discuss in that article.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Jun 26, 2008
TOO FAR!
by: PAMELA

I Believe that you can spank a child without it leading to abuse...But mark what you said your mother did was abuse,she even took pleasure in disciplining you!you said that you would play outside or in your room as to not make her mad..Normal child who are,not in abusive homes DON'T HAVE TO HIDE FROM THEIR MOTHERS AND/OR FATHERS!WHEN I talk about spanking I,am taking about 1 maybe 2 swats on the butt with hands only,I,am against all form of spanking with objects..(ie.belts,brushes,spoons,etc.)and I,am also against spanking when a parent(s)are mad..your mother did not know when to quit.It is not normal to being lying across her legs limp after a spanking...please get help.god bless you..
don't let your mother off with the old excuse that,i did the best i could,and that is how we disciplined back then,no she did not do the best for you and/or by you..NO PARENT(s) REATHER REAL,STEP,FOSTER,OR ADOPTED WOULD MAKE YOU FEEL THAT AFRAID OF THEM THEY WOULD NOT GLOAT ABOUT BEATING YOU!

Aug 23, 2008
abuse
by: Anonymous

***Removed by Darlene Barriere - Webmaster***

Note to Anonymous: Please understand that this thread is not a place to debate the issue of spanking; it's a place to offer validation, support and encouragement to the person who wrote the story above: in this case, Mark. I thank you for your understanding.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir



Sep 08, 2008
What I do not remember
by: Mark

While I have vivid memories of the spankings that my mother gave me I only partially remember the times my dad punished me. I can remember being sent to my room and waiting for him to come home. I would lie on my bed curled up in a ball. When he got home he would come into my room and strip off my clothes and carry me downstairs or he would order me to get my bare bottom down here for a spanking. It scares me to think about how bad these beatings could have been that I do not remember what happened when we got downstairs. I also sometimes think that perhaps it is better that I do not remember the details, though it continues to be a scary and dark void in my past.

Dec 01, 2008
same thing happened to me
by: touched2mysoul

I relate all too well.... it was the similar at my house... and she would promise to spank me and then say what type of parent would she be if she didnt go thru with her promise... I am sorry this happened to you... I am sorry this happens to children at all

Apr 30, 2009
spanking can get to far to easily
by: Anonymous M

i had spanking done on me and sometimes even if no marks on body the fear still got to me but not to much since it rarely got to far, but what you experienced with your mother IS way too far and that crosses the line to abuse. Especially when taking pleasure in it.I don't think any kind of spanking is good for kids although you could spank with out abuse but it gets to far way to easily and can defiantly give effects on a child when growing up so please parents find another discipline and don't go to far with spanking and think of the child. God bless you Mark and always pray and i will pray for you hopefully the spanking stopped and will. You are wonderful and deserve better.

Dec 13, 2010
Me too ....
by: Susan

Mark I just 'fell over' this site today and your posting rang so many bells for me. I am 56, and my mother and father whilst he was still at home, thought that 'spanking' me was the right thing to do. My mother - who was of course a stay at home mum - was the one that from day to day would find some little nonsense to punish me for. Whether it was accidently spilling a few drops of milk, or not standing still enough while she brushed my hair [yanking all those curly knots instead of smoothing them through gently] I could expect anything from being smacked several times on the legs or thighs, to an over the knee, knickers ripped down, hand or leather slipper spanking whilst being screamed at for whatever length of time she felt adequate. I remember being terrified by these huge people whom were supposed to be loving me shouting at me that I was going to be spanked soundly, till I was 'black and blue' etc & I have to say I was WAY too scared to submit to being spanked. Which infuriated her [and dad] to inflict even more spanking until I was just totally exhausted from screaming from terror, shock and pain & lay like a limp rag over their lap. I have NEVER understood the thing where parents say ' There, there, its all over mummy/daddy loves you' and would hug me. er .. what ?? YOU .. this parent .. have just spanked the sense out of me .. and I am supposed to be oh so happy you 'love' me??? They only tried that once or twice that I remember, as there was no way I would hug back. Often after being spanked by mum .. she would also 'tell dad' and he would come up the stairs... for a repeat performance with HIS leather slipper on my already sore and red bottom.

My mother .. who died only recently .. told every one right up to her death that I was such a good child which was true. I never did those outright naughty things like stealing etc .. The worst thing was ... as I WAS so good ... the things they punished me for .. were so very trivial. Things as a parent myself ... I found were almost at the ignoring level ! No ... I didn't spank my children and they were very difficult children. I admit ... that I did lose my temper once or twice... and to my everlasting shame did swat at their bottoms but not spank as such. NOT good. And looking back I believe that if I HAD have spanked they would both have been a lot worse and resistant. Children should be taught .. not hit.

I grew up .. in a house where my mother never held me, never had me on her lap for a hug .. only for a spanking ... and never saw any good in me and if she did .. would NOT tell me for fear of spoiling me.

I regret my lost childhood... and I lost all respect for my mother in particular. I can honestly say that ... I never forgave them for the hell they put me through.

Mark ... I so hope you are feeling better about this ... and want you to know how sad it makes me feel to find others who suffered as I did ... or even worse.


Jan 22, 2012
I can relate to this
by: Anonymous

I am 49 and my mother died a couple of months ago. I felt absolutely nothing, i still don't. She ritually spanked me and humiliated me into my teens. She especially seem to like doing it in front of others when at home. At some point of the ritual I would always be naked. Often she would really thrash my bottom or thighs. She thought that sending me to bed early was a punishment after I had been thrashed but in fact it was a refuge for me. I have only just found this site and sadly I am not shocked or amazed by the sheer volume of accounts on here.

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