Comments for Child Abuse Story From Marissa Part 2

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Oct 03, 2009
I'm concerned about your therapist...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Marissa, I'm not a lawyer, and therefore don't know the laws that govern your therapist, but I am concerned that she is telling you that if you say what kind of abuse you endured, she will tell your mother. Not only does that sound like a breach of confidentiality, it is tantamount to a threat, which sounds like it might be a breach of ethics. I would be investigating to find out just what she is obligated and not obligated to do under such circumstances. This doesn't sound right to me.

As for your mother...Marissa, she's your mother. It's her job to know what's happening in your life and to help you deal with whatever you are dealing with. Don't underestimate the power she has. Trust in her ability to BE your mother. It will be difficult to see her upset, but she is your mother. Tell her. You ARE growing stronger.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Oct 03, 2009
The laws
by: Marissa

Darlene,

She had given me papers with all the laws when I started seeing her. The laws are that if a client reports they have been neglected or abused (any type of abuse) that she has to tell my gaurdian's and report it to DCYF. This is because I am under 18.

I didn't tell her that I was abused. I just told her that it would be something that the law would require her to report it.

I know I need to tell my Mom I just feel that it would be so much easier if I was able to start healing and become stable before she finds out.

thank you for your comment,

Marissa

From Darlene: I can certainly understand that she is legally obligated to report to Child Protective Agencies if you disclose abuse, Marissa, because she is considered a mandatory reporter, but what I'm questioning is that she must tell your guardian or parent, simply because it is supposed to be up to the Child Protective Agency to investigate before information gets back to a guardian or parent. This is to avoid tipping off the actual abuser and thereby putting the victim at risk.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Nov 15, 2009
It really helps to tell
by: Molly

I was fifteen when I disclosed my abuse to my therapist. I'd kept the secret for five years, but when I started dating (and boy, did I pick a winner there - not) I started having nightmares. Once you start talking about it openly, you realize all the little areas that the abuse affects in your life that you never even thought of. Telling changes everything, it's like cleaning dirt out of a wound. It hurts like hell at first, but only after the dirt is removed can the wound heal properly. It you live with that dirt, it causes an infection that spreads to other parts of the body and does more damage.

It was really hard to tell my parents, and they were devastated, but it's a parent's job to care for and support their children. Loving parents wouldn't have it any other way, they volunteered for parenthood. Imagine you had a daughter that this happened to, would you want her to suffer in silence, alone? Allow yourself to receive the same love and support from your mom that you would give your daughter.

This secret is to heavy for you to carry alone, please let your therapist and your mother help you out. It really does change everything, you feel so relieved when you finally tell. Even if it doesn't go anywhere, you've named your abuser for what he is and it gives you your power back.

I'd hug you if I could, I remember how hard this was for me. I wish you strength and bravery and all the luck in the world.

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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