Comments for Child Abuse Story From Marie

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Feb 28, 2012
Marie:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I'm going to be very firm with you. Yes, you were victimized by your father. Yes, he beat you and you acted out as a result. Yes, what he did to you was, and is, despicable. But no matter what your father has done to you, it does not give you the right to harm others. And being drunk is no excuse. You are now, as a 23-year-old woman, acting out against others, namely your boyfriend, in a criminal way. Whether or not your realize it, you are behaving as your father behaves, which is what you don't want to do. You've given your Self permission to treat others the way your father has treated you. You have not stopped to think about how your actions are every bit as abusive as your father's are. You've turned your boyfriend into a surrogate punching bag because it's safe to lash out at him rather than stand up to your father. Only YOU can make changes in your life, Marie. Only YOU can choose to live your life in a way that makes YOU happy, a way that doesn't continue the legacy of your father's abuse. Being a victim of abuse does not give you, or anyone, a license to abuse others. You didn't deserve to be abused, just as others don't deserve to be abused. You and others deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Always remember that. You must find a healthy outlet for your anger and hostility, anger and hostility you certainly have a right to feel. But there's a difference between feeling that anger and lashing out at others as a result of it. I don't know what's available to your in the way of resources in the Philippines, but if there are any, please reach out for them. I send you love, light and healing energy, Marie. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Feb 29, 2012
don't stay
by: Tim L.

You can leave your father's company, his house, and move away to a different city, find a different job and make your own life. You don't need to stay with these deluded, cruel, violent people anymore. Darlene is right; it is not acceptable to hit anyone else. The fact is, if you keep yourself in this situation, where you can't express yourself or as you say, "talk back" to your abusive, controlling family, then you will likely continue to take it out on other people, which is inexcusable. You can liberate yourself and find healthy ways of dealing with other people. But that is never going to happen if you continue living under your father. If you are afraid, then use that fear; run away in the night and don't tell anyone where you are going.

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From Victim to Victory
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