Comments for Child Abuse Story From Maggie

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Apr 03, 2011
Maggie:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

What happened to you was NOT your fault. It will never BE your fault. Fault is squarely on the shoulders of your abusive father because he chose to abuse you. It wouldn't have mattered what you did or didn't do, he would have found a way to blame you and find fault, because that's what abusers do. They tell their victims lies, make their victims believe those lies, and use their victims' vulnerabilities against them. ALL that he did was his doing, Maggie...ALL of it. Please consider seeking out some form of counseling in order to deal with the repercussions of coming from such horrendous abuse. You didn't deserve any of it. You certainly deserve help for the fact that you endured abuse. And your children deserve to have a mother who is healthy and happy. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Apr 03, 2011
cutting is never the awnser
by: Ayase paul yukiya

Maggie, after i read your story and learned you cutted yourself then into adulthood.

Maggie......Cutting isn't the awnser to anything, and darlene is right its not your fault.

You could try and talk with a friend, about the abuse your father is giving you abuse. School teachers care for their students they are like parents even if they have or not have a family.

I learned this from a teacher, i still remember the day when a boy caught me cutting myself. And i had to have counseling done, after the abuse of my mother. My sister was crying, she was scared. I hugged her saying: 'Don't worry Ayase won't do it again.' we both cried.

Maggie remember this quote will help you: Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you. It's hard to answer the question "what's wrong" when nothings right.

Just remember this quote maggie okay? Don't harm yourself, anymore.

Apr 03, 2011
where were teachers?
by: My Two Cents

You wrote about going to school with bruises, telling people what was happening and no one listened. I don't understand why that is the case. Teachers, doctors, nurses, social workers (not all of them work in child welfare) are all mandated reporters. They are REQUIRED by law to report SUSPICIONS of child abuse and in your story it would appear that there were outright disclosures and physical evidence both.

I am just flabbergasted that such a case could bot be noticed, what did you wear a winter parka and ski pants everyday? People couldn't see the bruises? Did you participate in full contact ufc training camps?

Bah, disappointed in teachers and others who saw you or who you told.

Maybe you can explore possibility of suing them? Hold them accountable for their lack of actions.

Be well.

My Two Cents.

Apr 04, 2011
abuser are bad, bad people instilling fear
by: maurice

Adult abusers be they (parents) Step parent's Guardians of children are big bad control sicko's of their innocent victims: They instill fear into the minds of each of their victims: Never (EVER) the victims fault: Maggie please believe Darlene's woman's heart feeling words to you absolutely the truth what she wrote in her comment to you: Oh maggie my heart goes out to you: your abuse was horrific, cruel, sadsitic, even an aniaml would not destroy their young in such a way: But you Father had the mind of a beast to beat your body so badly marks over marks welt's over welt's: The world of people around you must be sick too: to have noticed and not wondered or known you were being brutally reared by a sadistic drunkard of a father; Maggie: please get help: through counselling therapy who will help you to put all your pain and suffering into perspective I AM NOT TO BLAME: IT WAS AND WILL NEVR BE MY FAULT WHAT HAPPENED OR WAS DONE TO ME: My abusive sicko beast of a father choose to control and abuse me in my innocence and vunerability: Maggie, you might think this is silly to be asking you: Will you begin having a healthy mind in a healthy body: You are gifted: you have tallents: stay in education you'll succeed and be successful and be a winner over your abuser: I WILL: I CAN: I MUST
BECAUSE I AM WORTH IT: That you are Maggie: Yes get of your beautiful tender backside and get out there with your friends, fellow students your own age and gender taking part in team sports and sporting and cultural activities: don't forget you motto I will: etc: I am WORTH it: I'M SPECIAL I LOVE THE ME LOOKING OUT AT ME FROM THE MIRROR: Be gentle and kind to yourself and your body: hug and cuddle love back into it, massage it gently with scented oils and cream soothing away those awful memories of those marks and welts erasing them from your body then slowly from your mind: Maggie: My two cents and Ayase Paul have written from their heart to you: so with Darlene's empowering comments and heart felt words know our hearts are with you too:

Apr 28, 2011
Be Well.....
by: Bee

Maggie-I am a recovered "cutter".I use to cut as a way to release my pain.All that pent up pain from years of every abuse imaginable.My molester & abuser was my brother,my mother also abused me.I had no where to run,no one to turn to at that time,so cutting gave me the relief I needed to rid myself psychologically of the pain I endured on a daily basis.We are not responsible for the choices & decisions our abusers made.It's far easier for them to blame us & guilt us into believing it was our fault.They put the shame of what they did to us,on us.It was much easier for them to do this than face the horrific acts of violence they made us endure.They used every blame & scare tactic to excuse themselves of the horrible monsters they were.By doing this,they gave themselves the permission to abuse us again & again.It's so sad that you had to be the victim of this.Now you are no longer their victim so don't let the memories of what was done to you make you a victim.It took me years to realize that I continued to abuse myself by cutting where they left off.The emotional memories will never go away,but the physical ones have healed.Every day that I don't cut,I heal a little bit more.I don't need to punish myself for their acts of violence that were done to me anymore.I have been punished enough by them.I no longer hold myself accountable for them.They can no longer blame me for their deeds.I no longer blame myself.

The innocent child I was in a world where I wasn't protected,has learned to protect herself.I have enough scars within me & I have chosen to not give myself anymore scars on the outside.I have come to reason that I no longer have to hurt myself,I have already hurt enough.Talking,
crying,journalling,letting myself feel & discover my emotions is a path toward my healing.Setting boundaries on how I want to be treated & letting others know how I don't want to be treated has helped me.The more I get in touch with me,the more I have no need to self-inflict.

I wish you all the best,most of all,I wish you to know-you are more than the pain you went through....you are Maggie.

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