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Jan 17, 2014
To Loving Father:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I know you love your son and you want what's best for him. That's why you sent him to therapy. That's why you're here. But the very first thing you must do is begin to repair the damaged relationship between you and your son. He felt betrayed and abandoned when the sexual abuse first happened to him. He was terrified to tell you about it then. And then, when he finally built up the courage to disclose to you, you didn't believe him, which brought him into an even deeper depression. A depression fueled in part because the very thing he feared—not being believed—is exactly what happened. So he felt even more betrayed and abandoned. And add to that the fact that you didn't believe HIM, but believed the therapist...his depression is so easy to understand. Keep getting your son all the help he needs, but start by apologizing for not believing him in the first place. He's been holding onto the memory, the fear and the blame (yes, he blames himself) all this time. Tell him what happened, both with the sexual abuse and not being believed was not his fault. Tell him that together you will work through this. But you must re-build the trust that has been lost. And though going to the police sounds like the right thing to do right now, part of re-building his trust may well be to hold off on that for now. In Canada, there is no statute of limitations for reporting sexual abuse. And though I'm an advocate of reporting as soon as possible in order to prevent others from being abused too, if you go against his back and make a report with what you know, you may create a rift between the two of you that is too deep to repair. Give him the time he needs. Allow him to have the power and control he didn't have as a child. Thank you for sharing yours and your son's story with my visitors and me. I send you both love, light and healing energy.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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