Comments for Child Abuse Story From Lonely at Heart Part 10

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Jul 23, 2009
Sandra:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Very real, very raw. Thank you for sharing more of your thoughts with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Nov 29, 2009
Denial Hurts
by: sara

Sandra, I'm so grateful I found your post. I empathize completely. It's the family's denial that hurts so much and prevents one from healing. I'll never wrap my head around how a family can throw the victim into a grave and bury them with dirt--that's exactly what they're doing to you by denying the abuse and protecting the abuser. They'd rather do that to you than face responsibility for their actions. They'd rather protect their image than do the right by you. They are simply doing what is easiest, protecting themselves, by invalidating the horrors you endured. They have no integrity. I'm sure it will never change. As far as I know the only healthy thing one can do in this situation is distance yourself, cut them completely out of your life. Don't expect healing or accountability from them. Frankly, anyone that abuses chronically or looks the other way and permits it to go on--does NOT have the emotional or mental integrity to accept responsibility. Anything but that. It's either pretend it never happened OR blame the victim. They just don't have the makeup within them to do anything else. At least that's how I've come to understand it, and I have thought much about this, grappling to understand. Cut your losses and run. Or stay, but know that you'll have to pretend nothing happened as well, or face further denigration.
I will continue to read your stories. I understand how deep the feeling of injustice runs when everyone continues to invalidate the awful things that happened to you. It makes it all the more difficult to move on and recover.

Jan 19, 2010
You are one in a million
by: Clare

Sandra,

You have endured so so much in your life. People say move on, forget! it is not that easy.

I will pray for you tonight and every night thereafter. you are so strong and you show true determination for not hurting your family.

I do believe you totally regret not going through with court proceedings, but it is a very traumtic experience and I have done it, gladly he got sentenced, but many do not.

I just hope you can begin to get on with your life, go to councilling, its not that bad and it really does help, but first you need to accept the help.

You are a lovely girl, you state you have a boyfriend who knows your issues and supports you, i am thankfull for that.

Please dont give up sweetie, prove you are more than him, get your revenge out by becoming someone his family aim to be...... you already are.

Dont let him ruin your life please, accept it. Put it to the back of your mind and show them all how succesful you can be, and when you are, find a very good lawyer and take him all the way....

Because there is a way, people can take out sexual abuse charges years after it has happened, but a good lawyers will get you justice.

My love really goes out to you girl.

Luv clare x

Jun 24, 2010
comment
by: joanne

sandra,
i read your stories. your are a bounty of strength. strength the others in your 'family' do not have or know of. you are one in a million. what you suffered through is unconscious continuous abuse. it is painful to the point of desparation. i know. i have felt the same things. what i see in you is strength, that they could not follow you in that strength follow your lead and honor you is wrong. i wish continued strength for you as i do myself. you are not alone. joanne

Nov 12, 2010
Grateful!
by: Sandra

It has been a very long time since I look at my comments or even posted a story. But last night inspired me to continue to tell my story no matter how hurtful it is and I hate the fact that it still is!
To my surprise though I find encouraging words to me from two very special warm hearted ladies. Words I had yet to see til this morning and I want to say thank you!! I truly needed that and God guided me straight to it first thing this morning, instead of having me, torment myself yet another day!

Again, to everyone that has read my stories and feels my pain....THANK YOU!!!

Feb 12, 2011
injuries,without shadow of change
by: kashish

i hate it ,when i read such stories,because i am also the one victim,out of these thousands,yah'itz really awfull for me,for those who love me,i am also suffring from such disease called dipression,
:-(,i alwayz use to cry in dark,specially my home wash room in off lights,i use to scream like anything as someone is crushing my head, iam of 19 years ,n i continuously abused since when i was 10,
i dont have that much power to recape my past,as i cant tell you my entire life story ,but just i could make u aware about.
well,well,well ...no more tears just fight with these abhominable criminals,who all are trying to spoil our lives like this,i have many things to say but i am damn confused what i should say or what i should not ,....
but i hope you would understand still my hands are shivering while typing ....
i have fear,inhibition to disclose my past ...
well i am with you kids, who all are surviving with such craps....
Fear nothing except fear itself.
i hope you would go through meh words and understand about my grief...
that would be enough for me......
my love to all,...god bless



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