Comments for Child Abuse Story From L

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Feb 22, 2009
Drawing a line in the sand to stand up for yourself...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

There was nothing "shameful" about your childhood, L. Not in the sense that you have anything to be ashamed of. Shame lies squarely on the shoulders of your enabling mother and your violently abusive brother. Sometimes we have to draw a line in the sand and distance ourselves from our abusive families. We can't change others, we can only change ourselves and the way we deal with whatever comes our way. It sounds as though you have a supportive and loving husband; he's you family now.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Feb 22, 2009
draw a strong long line
by: touched2mysoul

It is tough... I know to draw a line between you and family. The desire to have a family... come from someplace, have roots, have a connection can be strong... even when that family is toxic and abusive. I know of what you speak... though i encourage you to fight to draw a line. Dont let them mistreat you or use you... you have value.. remember that!
God Bless

Feb 22, 2009
Monsters for mother and brother
by: Francine

L, what your so-called mom and brother did to you is pathetic and ungrateful. You and your dear sister deserved so much better than that! Your mother and brother should've been sent to prison or mental institution cuz they need help. As for the dirty house part, that is out of line and horrendous! I can relate; my brother had always abused me as a kid and also in my teens and everyone (even my family) has always loved him. As for the "Oh I want to be in your life forever" part, I can relate, too...my parents always let my heartless brother back into my life whenever I try to beg them not to, and I even told them that I want to move out, which made them mad and they told me that if I ever moved out, then they wouldn't financially support me on college or any living expenses. Anyway, you might want to try counselling cuz you are worth the help that you need. I'm so glad that you are with your husband now cuz he is sooooooooooo sweet for doing that! I wish you, your sister and your husband all the best.

Feb 25, 2009
You SURVIVED!
by: June L.

What a STRONG woman you are. I am 39 and still deal with " my" own abuse. Just writing back to people on this web site makes me feel better. This is wat I personally need to do. It took me years even after failed marriages and three beutiful children to realize "I" am worth happiness and love ( real love). It's still hard for me to think sometimes God doesn't give us more than we can handle. I can now for pray and help those are hurting when before I felt like the only one. I am still growing personally and emotionally,But it is my life now and no one can take that away. I also pray for and try to forgive those who have tried. We are all survivors and I am blessed I "stumbled" on this page. I feel safe here. I will pray for you and your family. God Bless, June L.

Mar 12, 2009
always believe in yourself
by: Anonymous

after all you've related in your personal story that seems easier said than done but I assure you it works and is possible. I too was abused and felt very emotionally drained from time to time because of it. But like you I began relating it to my closest of friends. I am an only child of a single mother. It was in a boarding school that my physical abuse began. I only accepted that it was abuse 12 years ago. It has done me a power of good. I kept making excuses for the one who beat me with leathers on my bare bottom. Because he was a religious man I accepted is as normal punishment in this school. It was very wron to be beaten in my adolecent and teen years in this way. We all have our own story, yours is real to you. Please let go of your family. Sadly Mothers in most cases were not strong enough to stand up to the brutes who abused them and their children. No excuses but deep down they really wanted to but had not thestrength to do so. Cultural backgrounds don't differ as most Males end up being the abusers. because of the nonsense concept. Males are in charge. Oh thank God that has changed for the better and society is dealg with them now. Always believe in yourself, your special and beautiful in your own divine right. Maurice.

From Darlene: Maurice, there is a misconception in your statement above. Statistics show that men and women abuse in equal numbers, but it is women who physically abuse in numbers far greater than men. Where the stats differ is that when men physically abuse, they are much more likely to cause serious physical injury to the child.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Mar 04, 2013
The Horror
by: Anonymous

L, your brother is deeply troubled and sadistic. It's good that you got out of that house because he's too dangerous to be trusted. He's also mentally ill. Now that you got away from them, your healing can start in earnest.

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