Comments for Child Abuse Story From Krysal

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Jun 15, 2009
Part 1: Michael is to blame, not you, not any of his children...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Krysal, I'm very happy to learn that your mother is divorcing Michael and trying to keep you and your siblings safe from him. You didn't deserve to be beaten or called names. You are NOT the lies he called you. You are smart, and articulate and beautiful in your own right. You are worthy of love and nurturing, and of dignity and respect.

What Michael did to you is not your fault. Whatever twisted thoughts were going through his head, they were about him, not you or anything you did. Michael wasn't thinking right. If he had been, he would have treated you and your brother with love and kindness, even in discipline, just as he treated his biological children. Try not to blame his children for the way HE mistreated you. Blame lies squarely on his shoulders; not theirs. What he did to you had nothing to do with them; it was all to do with their father. What's most important to understand is that it had nothing to do with YOU or YOUR BROTHER.

See Part 2: The doctor's exam... below.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Jun 15, 2009
Part 2: The doctor's exam...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You mentioned being in the doctor's office, and that when he examined you, you felt something cold in your "private area". Kystal, I'm not sure if you were trying to say that this doctor molested you. What I will tell you is that when a doctor does an internal examination on a girl or a woman, s/he must use an instrument made of polished metal called a speculum. The speculum is used for the doctor to examine inside your "private area". Unless the doctor uses a means to warm it up before using it, it will be cold, and therefore it will feel cold "down there". This exam is normal, Kystal, and necessary to ensure a woman's good health. It is not sexual abuse when done by a qualified physician for this purpose. I will also say that it has become the practice of many male doctors to have a female present in the room during such examinations. This is done to both to ensure the patient feels more comfortable about what the doctor is doing, as well as to ensure that he is not accused of any misconduct. Of course, the female in the room does not actually get to watch the exam in progress; rather, she stands or sits next to the woman or girl being examined, and the patient is covered up from her waist down and not exposed to anyone except the doctor. I hope that clears up any misconceptions you have about what may have happened to you in that doctor's office that day.

I do hope that with the divorce, you and your brother will have in your lives what you've always deserved: love, support and encouragement. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Jun 15, 2009
Not your fault
by: Francine

Krysal, your so-called step-dad is wrong. You are not ugly; you are not lazy; you are not worthless; you are not fat. You are beautiful, smart, articulate and worthy of love, dignity and respect. I hope that sick excuse for a man is in jail now for all those terrible crimes that he committed against you (and your siblings) because you guys (you and your siblings) did nothing wrong. I am also glad that your mom had to divorce him and I wish you guys all the best.

Jun 16, 2009
loving words. helpful words, empowering words to give you hope
by: maurice

krysal, great you arrived at Darlene's site. She sure knows what is best for you in all you've shared with her and her visitors. her words of love, her words of caring, her true words for you to begin your journey upwards and onwards. Always believe in yourself as Rhianna reminds you you are beautiful and not any of the calling names of your father or mother or indeed anyone. She was very true in all she said you were. Love words from her heart to you. Begin to get a high self esteem of yourself, begin in or at the mirror. saying beautiful and nice thing about yourself. It is not sill it is natural and true. Like that great and wonmderful person in the mirror. Be nice, be gentle especially with the parts of that were abuse. soothe them, massage them just treat them with gentleness. You'll feel good Kyrsal. Say to that unique and special Me in the mirror. I can accomplish anything I want for me in my life. never doubt that Kyrsal. Value and love your friends who will walk with you.talk with you and accept you for who you are now. HUGS all around.

Jul 02, 2009
mix up
by: Krystal

Sorry about the inconvienence i accidently spelt my name wrong it's Krystal J not krysal J.thanks everyone for your comments and encouragement sorry about the spelling also my computer wasn't working right when i wrote my story and thank you Ms.Darlene for what you said and you know the thing you wrote about the docter thing well it wasn't one of those checkups i would know ive had one before and it was nothing like what happened to me when i was little it was just a regular checkup and it happened.

Jul 03, 2009
mixed up, confused, bad writing the least of your worries.
by: maurice

Hiya Kyrstal J, thank you for returning to darlene's site that is all that matters, you needed to get something off your chest and you did. all the other insignificants are not the matter. YOU are [brave] for sharing I find it a great release when I write comments back to great and wonderful people telling their story knowing Darlene is there to welcome them and make them feel a little safer in themselves for relating their abuse. I ask myself from time to time why did I find her site. I believe there was a reason and I benefited from it. Krystal J always believe in yourself. your story is very real to you, get all the love and help to continue letting go of it. Begin by loving yourself, I am beautiful, I am special, I can accomplish anything I want in my life. JUST FOR WONDERFUL ME,

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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