Comments for Child Abuse Story From Kristine H

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Nov 03, 2010
 Kristine:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

No matter what your "family" says or believes, they are wrong. In fact, they couldn't be more wrong. None of what happened was your fault. Fault is squarely on the shoulders of this child molester. Don't EVER believe that you were to blame or that you had an "affair" with him. You did nothing "with" him; he "groomed you, sexually abused you and used your vulnerabilities against you. That's what molesters do. As far as I'm concerned, a family that chooses a child molester over their child/sister/niece, granddaughter/etc is a family that you're better off without. Please seek out some form of counseling to help you deal with what happened to you at the hands of this molester, and the aftermath. You've certainly worth that kind of help. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Nov 04, 2010
 A willing enabler for a mother...and a vicious pervert for a stepfather
by: Anonymous

Kristine, your so-called family is truly twisted, warped and confused in their own ways of thinking. They should've known better and loved and protected you from that slimy pervert for an army guy...and they are to blame, not you, because you were the child; they were the adults. They had all the power and they only misused it. As for your "mom", I am just as disgusted by her reactions towards that sicko molesting you; I hate women who choose men over their own children because children should always come first. I hope that you're in a safe place now and that you will try counselling.
Nov 04, 2010
 THERE FOR YOU, IF YOU NEED ME
by: Anonymous

I agree completely with Darlene, your family are more than wrong trying to blame you for what happened, you were the victim, and in so many cases that?s how the person that does the wrong play it out to be, your story really touched my heart, as I was also abused by my step Dad, I was more scared than anything else, but my story had a different turn, I immediately went to my mom being so scared and told her exactly what he had done, at that very second I have never seen my mom so angry ever, she just grabbed me and held me and cried, she confronted him about it, and he of course totally denied it all, but my mom believed me still, after many visits at the psychiatrist I still felt a sense of pain for him opening my eyes to a world that I was not yet ready to see, but after lying endless night in my bed crying I found one person to convey in, that was my Father in Heaven, being a lady of 23 I today try to thank God each day for giving me life, and giving me the strength to forgive, and always being by my side, even though sometimes you feel alone, about your addiction my older brother was an addict, he eventually had to go to rehab, and even when coming out from rehab, he still couldn?t resist the addiction, he just went back to doing what he had done in the first place, but today he is completely recovered actually him and my oldest sister as both of them were also sexually abused when they were younger, by now one less than our own family members, but today both of them has found a bigger father than any father and that?s God. Its so difficult to trust anyone these days, just want to let you know that even though you might not have your biological family, just know that from now on you are definitely a part of mine.

Nov 04, 2010
 ITS NOT YOUR FAULT
by: Anonymous

its really not your fault, you was a kid and yu didnt know.if that what your family thinks then that wrong make then realise that it wasent your fault.
Nov 04, 2010
 sorry sorry
by: Anonymous

damm Not to be rude but that is cazry how can your own step dad have oral sex with you.. to me that is kinda nasty if i was your mother i would of made him get lock up..
Nov 05, 2010
 Omg
by: Anonymous

Im so sorry about your early childhood.... i cant imagine someone doing this to me.... I hope you get better and try to leave that in the pass and worry about ur future.........
Nov 05, 2010
 Your so strong, girl.
by: Sandra

My mother did the same to me after I told her that her husband had been touching me. she hit me so hard that night, and we havent spoken ever since. your so much better off without them, belive me, i know. gratulations on 7 months sober, im really proud of you! your a really strong girl, beliv that. and belive that none of what happened was your foult.. i belive in you, so go find some help, honey :)
Nov 08, 2010
 Courage! It gets better.
by: Louise

Dear Kristine,

I feel so bad thinking of your pain, for it was my pain, too. My father molested me for years, my mother denied it. The whole family was mad at me for reporting it to Mom. I turned to pot and to alcohol for comfort. Now, Mom and Dad are dead, and my siblings still think that I am the bad one.

Twenty-seven years of AA and lots of counceling later, I have finally been everyone involved, especially my self, for experiencing sex too early and against my choice, for not having been able to control the situation. I know that my mother was molested and otherwise abused, and really had no ability to help because she went untreated for the pain she went through. I have learned that my father was emasculated early, used as a pawn in his family.

Those things do not excuse their behavior, but it does make it easier to understand. It is now like I got caught in a totally out of control situation, like getting caught in a flood, or in an avalanche. I did get hurt, it still affects me some, but I am so grateful to have survived, and even learned to love life. I have even stopped asking, Why me?

Stay in recovery! There is nothing, for an addict, that drugs and alcohol will not make worse. If you are in AA, keep working the 12-Steps: they are the path to emotional freedom. Find an incest therapy group, and you will find that you are not alone. Company with the problem will give you comfort. Find a psychiatrist or psychologist or a councelor who can help you to face the emotional abandonment, the abandonment you remember, and the abandonment that happened when you were too young to remember.

Life is full of wonderful people. Trust will come, with faith, with honesty, with self respect.

I pray for you.

Nov 10, 2010
 No one has the right::
by: maurice

Kristine H: Please oh please read darlene's comment over a few times: You'll be all the better for it: You'll be fine: Your family are certainly out of place: That beast abused and molested you: He knew you were vunerable and used it against you: I was scared: I was afraid: I was innocent: I was vunerable: I am never to blame for what he did to me: It wasn't and never will be my fault: He ruined my innocence: That is why Kristine H you follow the loving heartfelt words of love, help, affirmation of you by Darlene: She truly wants what is the best for you NOW: Stop blaming yourself: Your family are very wrong: He molsested and abused your beautiful innocence and your body: Bad, Bad dirty old man: (beast)Get help: seek out counselling follow Darlene's advice: I WILL: I CAN: I MUST: because I am WORTH it and I LOVE ME:

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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