Comments for Child Abuse Story From Krissy

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Feb 26, 2009
You have no blame here...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Krissy, there must be something missing in the information about your stepfather, something that you may be unaware of, because if he openly admitted to the authorities that he sexually assaulted you, they would be obligated to pursue the case further.

I'm very happy to learn that you are in therapy. But as long as you shut down, your therapist won't be able to help you further. If you go to your sessions and lie about what is really going on, or you cover up what you are really feeling, you are robbing yourself of true healing.

And I think you may have misunderstood your therapist; when she talked about "recovered", she was likely talking about a process. I suggest you discuss this with her further. And I also suggest you talk to her about your feelings of guilt and blame. You have nothing to feel guilty about. You are not to blame for the acts of that vile child molester. He took advantage of your vulnerabilities as a child.

I am a little confused about your disclosure. You said you told your mother when you were first molested and that she didn't believe you. And you also said you never told anyone. I gather that you mean you never told anyone except your mother, and that when she didn't believe what you were telling her, you didn't tell anyone else. Regardless, Krissy, you didn't tell others because you were afraid. Just so you know: the number 1 reason sexual abuse victims don't tell is because they are afraid they won't be believed.

You did the best you could, and when you were older and stronger and someone finally did step up to intervene, you did better by disclosing the truth. You cannot be faulted for any of it, Krissy. All fault lies squarely on the shoulders of this sex offender, and on your enabling mother. Again, I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to be honest with your therapist about all that you are feeling and thinking. She can't help you fully unless you are.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me, and for including your very important message; that telling someone is very important.

And as you can see, Krissy, I've combined both your contributions into one.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir


Feb 26, 2009
thank you
by: krissy myself

i appreciate that you think that it isnt my fault i believe that much, and i do tell my therapist the truth she also knows about my blame and guilt inside of me. and yes that is what i meant for saying i didnt tell anyone.. other tahn my mother i thought that people would understand that.. sorry..! And i appreciate all of your support and i wrote that liitle conclusion at the end because it is true i regret not saying anything. And the authorities said that there "wasnt enough" evidence to support my story since it was soo long ago.
Well for the most part i appreciate your concern, and i hope that when people are reading my story... they get the point that it is well better if you tell someone about what has happened or is happening because it is a lot better to let it all out instead of bottleing it all up.
thank you
sincerly
Krissy

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.



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