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Apr 26, 2009
Part 1: You're SO courageous...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Kodianne, the fact that you told your grandpa and that you went to the police with your story means that there is now a record of what that sick perverted man did to you. It was so courageous for you to tell and then give a statement to the authorities. If someone else is assaulted by him and it's reported, your report will then come to the forefront. So although you haven't gotten justice through the legal system, the fact that you have provided a statement to the police could be helpful sometime in the future. I'm not saying that you should be hopeful that one day you will get justice; that might not happen, even if it does at some point go to court. What I am saying is that your courage could make a difference at a later date.

You're worried that he is going to come get you. That is probably what's triggering some of your recurrent nightmares. Kodianne, people like Ed are cowards. They prey on the very young and vulnerable. They prey on young people they have clear access to in the refuge of their own homes. He's gone, Kodianne. He's no longer in a position to be able to hurt you. He no longer has access to you. You are no longer the vulnerable 6-year-old who couldn't protect herself and couldn't be heard—WASN'T heard. You now have a voice. Perverts like Ed don't go after anyone with a voice that can be heard. You can now be heard. That is very powerful. And what's more, Kodianne, is that you've BEEN heard, by your grandpa and by the police. There are people in your life who will keep you safe from harm. You yourself can use your knowledge to stay safe.

If you don't feel that you can talk openly with your mother or grandpa about your nightmares, fears and concerns, consider contacting Child Help at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453). They are staffed 24/7 with professionally trained counsellors who will listen to you. A listening and understanding ear can be a great comfort. If it is at all possible, talk to your mother about getting some form of counselling in order to help you deal with all the emotional stuff you are now dealing with.

See Part 2: Not your fault... below.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Apr 26, 2009
Part 2: Not your fault...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Always remember, Kodianne, none of what happened to you was your fault. The blame lies solely on the shoulders of Ed. So if you ever find yourself asking what you did wrong, repeat this mantra: I did not deserve to be assaulted. He was to blame. I did nothing wrong.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

P.S. As you can see, I combined both your stories, Kodianne, since they overlapped each other. You'll also note that I removed the full name of your abuser...liability laws prevent me from publishing the name of an accused who has not been formally charged with a crime. I know how therapeutic it is to scream at the top of your lungs the name of your abuser. Exclusion of Ed's full name was not intended to stifle you or in any way dishonour your healing process. I trust you understand.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Apr 26, 2009
Today is grand/parents day where I am at.
by: Maurice

Grandparents are the real rearers of their own children as well as their grand children. (90%) are the very best. they love their own children and their children love them so the Grandchildren are the luckiest children in the world. Kodianne you and your sister were the luckiest. now whether or not your mam was accepted by her dad in the person she chose as her boyfriend is somewhat irrevelant but important. He came to your rescue at a very appropriate time in you childhood. That very bad man, what a pity he was not caught. Darlene as is her usaul has given you advice in her words of love to you. take note and do your best to follow them up in your accepting yourself as being Unique, Special, Beautiful and one who can get on with living her life to the full. Live well, laugh much and Love alot Kodianne

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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