Comments for Child Abuse Story From Karen M

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Aug 13, 2010
 Karen:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Of course you'd be naive in those years; you were a child, for goodness sake. T and your mother were the adults. Your mother's job was to protect you and keep you safe from harm. Instead, she brought harm into your life. The fact that she tolerated what T was doing to you made her an enabler of both sexual and physical abuse. And chances are, T is STILL offending. Please consider some form of counseling in order to help you deal with the residual of what happened to you. Doing so may help you to open up to your husband about the abuse. Always remember, you have NOTHING to feel shame for. But I am particularly struck by the fact that you and your husband chose NOT to spank your own children. Consider this: what you lived through, terrible and humiliating and painful as it was, made life better for your boys. There WAS purpose in it. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Aug 13, 2010
 admiration for your strength
by: Anonymous

I could relate to your story powerfully. Not because I was exposed but because my dad exposed himself to me and I didn't realise until literally a few months ago that that was actually wrong & in some people's eyes could be termed sexual abuse. For so long you see these things as normal and to suddenly realise that it was in fact a disturbing experience is hard to swallow. I think your boys are extremely lucky to have you as a mum. Take care.
Aug 13, 2010
 i understand...
by: touched2mysoul

My mother beat me naked as well...I felt ashamed and humiliated the older I got as she would make fun of my body. The pain was my my biggest concern because she hit me with ALL her might! But the shame was present. I empathize with you... I understand and can relate all too well to you life experience. I thank you for sharing it... You r not alone in the struggle of dealing with this type of abuse... I wish u the best.
Aug 15, 2010
 The inner strength of a child:
by: maurice

I have shared with a number my feelings in the past few days Karen M. 3 times I returned to your story: 3 times I had to move onto another one's story: I found your story beyond comprehension that a bad, bad, (Many derogatory Names) I could call him could do such to a beautiful innocent naive tender loving child: Karen M. Imagine that Darlene was speaking side by side with you in her heartfelt loving, kind, gentle, supporting, encouraging words to you and making you feel loved by her big hugs and cuddles: Please read her comment to you: bring into you big heart her words: get their meaning and please, please act on them: You know deep within your heart that T is one very, very bad man: But you also know there are good and great men out there who are the total opposite to him: Loving, kind, tender hearted. Respectful rearing good children and making them ever so important: All of us who can empatise with each other because we were abused in one form or another as children/adolecents know that too: You were the unlucky child to get such a B and indeed a mother who should have protected you from him: Standing idly by while her own flesh and blood was being humiliated and beaten in such a degrading way does not deserve the name MOTHER; Karen: you be the winner: Like darlene there is a life to be lived after abuse: Sure you are one highly intelligent woman: (big girl) now) with a huge capacity to understand her loving words to you: She is the best, not just for you but all of us irrespective of our age: Her site is a stepping stone to giving one freedom from our past; she want you to make a break through in your life NOW; I guarantee you Karen M if you only begin acting on her advice you'll have a spring in your step: Hi, your motto from this day on I CAN: I WILL: I MUST: ALL BECAUSE I AM WORTH IT: Get my message to you. Letting go can't and won't be easy especially if you are seeing your abuser from time to time: I am going to be the winner: Yes>>I can, etc Karen please build up your own self worth: your own Self Esteem: No better place to begin except in front of the mirror: Oh Karen M you can: Now look at that beautiful body of yours: Be gentle and kind to it: soothe away those memories with lovely baths and then oil and cream: then hug and cuddle yourselffor as long as you feel good: You deserve the best Karen M; Darlene is very much along side giving you inner strength with her understanding words: Oh Man's and woman's inhumanity to each other and especially to children and the young; Karen M you'll be a winner: Oh one great way to begin too is to have a healthy mind in a healthy body: Get out there with your friends taking part in sporting and cultural activities: Show off your gifted ness; I wii etc>
Aug 25, 2010
 Abusive people
by: Maryann

I read your story Karen and unfortunately experienced humiliation at a young age along with several other kids. Its been many years ago but the memory of it still angers me today as it does also for what you went through. I lived in a foster home from 9 to 12 years old when thankfully I was rescued by an aunt. It wasn't the man of the house that was cruel but the house mother was the most despicable woman I ever had contact with. Their son was high school age at that time and they had myself and three other foster kids, 2 boys and a girl. The girl was a year younger than me and one boy older and one younger. Unlike you I wasn't the only one she mistreated since she was vindictive to all of us except her son. Her main form of discipline was to humiliate us. There was an enclosed porch at the back of the house where the four of us were always punished. She not only made us undress but would pull off our clothing sometimes. Once we were naked she spanked us but never more than five or six swats with her hand. It had nothing to do with pain from the spanking but the fact that the other kids were called in to witness it. Whether it was one of the boys or one of us girls didn't matter. I believe she had them watch just to make it more embarrassing for the one being punished. It happened to the boys most often but both myself and the other girl were also treated the same way many times. She even allowed her son to watch this going on and as much as I think her husband disapproved, he never intervened. Whoever was being punished was then left naked on the porch, sometimes for hours, regardless of the weather. She had no regard for our modesty and was totally unconcerned no matter who saw us undressed. Many times her sons friends were at the house but even that didn't deter her from exposing us. I truly believe there was no sexual motive behind this but think she enjoyed humiliating us in front of each other and caring not who did see us naked. It troubles me that abuse of children is so common. Unlike you Karen I have told many friends, relatives and my husband about it. I think you should consider talking about it with someone you trust as Darlene mentioned. I know it helped me.
Jan 13, 2012
 North Carolina Also
by: Thomas

I was also subjected to a similar humiliation. This was in the mid to late 60's. I had to face the wall the rest of the day either naked or with my pants and underwear down around my ankles. This way my friends and neighbors could see my red and swollen bottom and legs. The worst would be to have my brother come in from outside with his friends and make comments & jeer at me like" What, did you forget to take your happy pills' I had ADHD and my medication (which I hated to take) was valium and phenobarbital. If I turn around or if turn my head to one side I was hit again with the belt or longer times facing the wall. Can you image a child with ADHD that had to be still and face a wall and not move for a day.

I am seeing a therapist & that is helping a lot but a big part of my treatment is sharing my painful past with my wife. She is really helping and giving me the support I need.
Thomas

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