Comments for Child Abuse Story From Kanila

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Jun 30, 2011
Kanila:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You are NOT a failure. You are smart and articulate and worthy of dignity and respect from everyone in your life, including your mother, stepfather and boyfriends. But dignity and respect must first come from YOU. And while I understand why you cut and bruise yourself, self-harm is another way to disrespect yourself, just the way others have disrespected you. I realize that self-harm is a way to numb the pain inside, but you owe yourself so much more than the lies you've been told by your stepfather and your mother. Yes, your mother too. The fact that she won't stand up and protect you from the man she's with is enabling his abuse of you. The fact that both of them treat your brother better than you is sending you messages of rejection. Don't reject your Self the same way. You ARE worthy, Kanila. But you must first believe that yourself. Please consider contacting Child Help at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) in order to talk to someone about the abuse you are still dealing with and your feelings. They are staffed 24/7 with professionally trained counsellors who will listen to you. They are not a reporting agency, although they can help you through the process of reporting if you decide to disclose the abuse. It's your choice, but you do need to disclose the abuse. Visit their website by copying & pasting the following URL into your browser: http://www.childhelp.org/get_help

As for being raped, this was a sexual assault, and it needs to be treated as such. Please consider reporting what this boy did to you. He has likely raped others, and will likely continue to rape others. At the very least, talk to someone about what happened. And always know that what happened to you was not your fault. Fault is always on the shoulders of the offender because the offender chooses to offend. Same goes for child abusers. And just for the record, your story was not "lame". Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir


Jun 30, 2011
Kanila...
by: Anonymous

I can't believe that your mom would abandon you to the so-called care of that sick excuse of a stepdad and allow him to beat and berate you 24/7...how dare she! Shame on her for running away from you instead of protecting you from that sicko as well as your other abusers! Her job is to protect you and she failed you miserably. If your stepdad didn't want to be there, then he should've had the courage to give you up for adoption instead of abusing you. The path that he, your mom and even your so-called friends (yes, the ones who are more like bullies than actual friends) chose was and still is inexcusable. You are not to blame; they are to blame because abusers always choose to abuse. You were the child; they were the adults; they had all the power and only misused it over you, so please tell someone you really trust and keep telling until he/she will finally listen to you and help you.

Jul 01, 2011
be brave: Be Strong: Love your beautiful Self
by: maurice

Kanila: please oh please read Darlene's words to you in her personal comment to you and you alone: You are one very special, bright intelligent child of God and the Universe: You must believe that: You must build up your self WORTH/ESTEEM: Your spirit was broken by all the abuse you had to endure at the hands of Men who molested you, hurt you, raped you, Step Fathers, you sure got a bad one a beast and tyrant: Your Mother enabled him to humiliate/degrade you make you feel inferior to you step siblings: She was (is) not a good mother: Darlene has spoken from her heart, try and put into practise her advice, words of love, encouragement, support, affirmation: Stay in education do your best just for you: You'll be a winner, ALWAYS BELIEVE IN YOURSELF: Kanila say I WILL: I CAN: I MUST: BECAUSE I AM WORTH IT; I'M SPECIAL AND I LOVE ME: BE GENTLE AND KIND ON YOURSELF AND YOUR BODY: VALUE AND RESPECT YOUR OWN SELF WORTH: YOU ARE A POSITIVE THINKER ABOUT YOUR SAFETY AND WHAT IS PROPER AND WHAT IS NOT: HAVE A FEMALE FRIEND YOUR OWN AGE AS A FRIEND MAY A FEW FRIENDS BECAUSE YOU WILL ALL WATCH OUT FOR EACH OTHER THEN: I know you are not too interested in taking part in sport: Kanila I would encourage you to think about taking part in some form of sport especially team games: I know it will benefit you greatly: Give you a greater sense of yourself, your giftedness, your tallents, YES I sure would say you have leadership qualties that you are hiding: Have a healthy mind in a healthy body: Be a winner over your abusers and all who ridiculed you: My motto I WILL: I CAN: I MUST BECAUSE I AM WORTH IT:

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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