Comments for Child Abuse Story From K1

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Jun 14, 2009
Part 1: You've been so courageous...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

K, I couldn't agree with you more. You are SO right when you say that you must deal with what happened to you. The only way I know to get past an abusive past is through it; circumventing one's past serves to keep one in the past. The fact that you have written what happened to you, the fact that you have taken this courageous first step to disclosed the terrible things that happened to you is a HUGE step toward progress, K. I do hope you realize how amazing you are for getting to this place. So many NEVER do.

I understand how difficult it is to have the constant reminder of what was done to you, K. I have scars on various parts of my body, scars that are a result of physical abuse doled out by my mother. I also have neck degeneration caused by being repeatedly thrown and slammed up against walls and choked. I also have problems with my lower back on account of being made to lift heavy objects as a very small child: my mother treated me as though I was her personal slave, without concern for the way my body would be affected. These were not just reminders; they were triggers that transported me right back to the moment of injury. And of course, all the terror that was associated with each of the horrifying moments was a part of re-living them. This all changed for me when I started to see my scars and pain not as scars from abuse; rather, as a badge of honour for having survived it all. I began to see my body as a wonderful organic substance with the capacity to heal itself. I also needed to bring my mind into the healing realm. I did this by changing my thoughts. I did this by questioning those thoughts, which led to me no longer believing the lies I had been programmed to believe. This was vital to my healing process, K. I believe it is vital for your healing process.

See Part 2: Words CAN heal us from our thoughts... below.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Jun 14, 2009
Part 2: Words CAN heal us from our painful thoughts...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

K, you ARE worthy of love. You ARE worthy of dignity and respect. You ARE lovable. You ARE special. You deserved to be loved and cared for and nurtured. You deserved to be protected and kept safe from harm. You DID NOT deserve to be mistreated. You DID NOT deserve to have a man in your life who would physically and sexually harm you. You DID NOT deserve a mother who turned her back on you and continually PUT you in harms way.

Most men are not like the seriously troubled and perverted man your mother chose to bring into your life, K. But when we believe they ARE, that is what we will find because that is what will be drawn to us. That's why it's so important to deal with our pasts. And you're ready to do that, K. You should be so proud of yourself for coming to this understanding. I'm certainly proud of you.

I almost always suggest some form of counselling, because the right counsellor can be very helpful in clearing a path toward healing and recovery. And so can a book that I highly recommend, written by a woman named Bryon Katie: Who Would You Be Without Your Story? The work she will introduce you to is a process of questioning your thoughts by writing them down and turning them around. This is something I've been doing for a very long time, K, something that works tremendously. Try it. You're worth too much not to. Besides, you have nothing but your painful thoughts to lose.

Thank you for sharing you story with my visitors and me. I'm so honoured that you would choose my site to disclose for the very first time. I send you nothing but love and positive energy.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Jun 15, 2009
working through it and letting go of all that happened us is a must.
by: maurice

K1 you are one very special child of the universe and God. You are and deserve all that Darlene tells you deserve NOW in your life. She has given you words of love and empathy that will empower you once you accept I LOVE ME. K1 begin to love yourself in a different way letting go of your past memories and abuse. Now that the man who put you through hell during your very special years of childhood innocent, beautiful, special and tenderness itself. IT WAS NOT MY FAULT. K1 you know that now. Let it be you platform for you to move onwards and upwards in your life NOW. you are the most important person beautiful woman to LOVE now. I can do it, I will do it, I must do it for me. Think positive, act positive, be positive, in all you do and say about yourself now. I believe a good place to begin is in the Mirror. by you having a good mirror image of yourself in the mirror, loving the whole you person soothing over the parts that were treated so cruelly by that awful abuser of you. He must not be the winner especially now that he is dead dying with his own pain of abuse and the way he dealt with it. He had no right to abuse you because he was abused himself. K1 always believe in yourself. Forgiveness beyond the grave we must as part of our own healing process is a help K1. Let all the bad memories of him die with him. Come alive in yourself now, live well, laugh alot, LOve much beginning with yourself. Darlene is one true friend, one true professional woman, one true believer in herself having journeyed through her own abuse as she relates it is the only way to deal with our own abuse. K1 read her very loving helpful words to you. she sure loves you and understands your hurt/pain/feelings. slowly begin with your few loving/caring friends who love for who you are now not. walk along the road of your life with the being fully alive and living each day to the full. Be totally free with them letting go the not so nice memories of your abuse years.

Jun 15, 2009
Inspiring women
by: Rhianna

Darlene is a wonderful woman and so are you K1. Darlene is using her own experiences and dedicating her time and effort in service to others. She is a real inspiration!

K1, you too are an inspiration for having chosen finally to speak out about your story. I hope that it will be powerful and healing for you to see your writing published on the web, as it was for me and is for so many others. God bless Darlene for what she does!!

You have taken a big step in revealing and finally speaking out about what happened to you. Yes it was physical abuse and not "punishment" and yes it was sexual abuse and not "wrestling".

Darlene and all of us who are speaking out and commenting on this site are doing our little bit to create a better world where perhaps one day these things will no longer happen to children and we will not suffer the ongoing after-effects as adults. Yes, things look bleak now and may continue to do so for some time, but I have faith that the future will one day be bright. Otherwise what is the point of surviving, speaking out, seeking healing and working for change.

I can completely relate to what you say K1 about being affected on a day by day basis by the abuse suffered in childhood. This is also the case for me. Life is hard and I am bombarded by after-effects and flashbacks. I am trying to work on myself, but it can be overwhelming and exhausting. I often wish for friends who really understand to be able to share with.

Darlene has recommended a book which, strangely, I recently ordered and just received myself. I don't know if it is good, but will now try to look at it since Darlene is recommending it.

K1 you have taken a big step in speaking out and sharing your story, albeit anonymously and on the web. I hope that this will be the start of positive change and something good for you now. Why should you hide away and make yourself small and invisible when you should be standing Tall Mighty and Proud?

I hope and pray that you and all of us will move forward in our lives and find healing, peace, love and joy. The road is rocky and hard, but with people like Darlene, at least there are some beautiful flowers to look at as we are going along the way.

Thank you once again Darlene for all that you do and thank you K1 for sharing your story.

Jun 15, 2009
To Rhianna:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Thank you for such warm words to me, Rhianna. And Thank YOU for all of your thoughtful and encouraging comments to the visitors of this site. You are caring and nurturing in all you say. You TOO are an inspiration.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Jun 16, 2009
Amazed........
by: Judy

Hello K1 -
I continue to be amazed by the wisdom and kindness of Darlene and other visitors. I really can't think of much to add because Darlene and Rhianna gave you so much wonderful insight. I can say that I wish you all the best today and always. You can't change the journey you have traveled thus far but you can most certainly change your journey going forward. March on with your head held high knowing that you can do this - that you will succeed - that your past will not continue to hold you hostage. God bless you! Judy.

From Darlene: Judy, I too am continually amazed by my visitors. And that includes you. Your comments to visitors are always encouraging and supportive. I truly am blessed to have people like you who really care, and then make a point of telling others they care. Thank you, Judy, for all you do on my site.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir




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