Comments for Child Abuse Story From Julie1

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Mar 05, 2009
 Doing what's right for you...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Julie, I can't begin to imagine what it must have been like to have lost your brother in the way you did. And it sounds as though your parents took out their guilt, shame and grief on you. No one was there to help you grieve the loss of your brother; they were too busy going inward and lashing out instead. As a young girl, you bore the brunt of that tragic loss; and as a result, suffered the severe and life-long repercussions.

As for support, I am delighted that you've found a 12-Step Program that is working for you. The support such groups offer can be invaluable. Your progress is slow because it needs to be. These are times to take baby steps. And with baby steps, sometimes comes slips and falls. Nurture yourself. Allow yourself the time it takes without self-recriminations for the time it is taking. As you grow stronger, you'll find those baby steps will eventually lead you to stand up tall and walk confidently and with purpose.

Regarding your family, it is so common for families to band together against the victim. In an effort to shed some light on what you are dealing with in your family, I'm pointing you toward an article I wrote for this site titled Why Parents Target a Specific Child For Abuse and an answer I gave some time ago to another visitor who asked Why doesn't my family believe me? Perhaps the information contained in those pages will help you with an explanation. You'll notice I did not use the word excuse; that's because there is no excuse for the way you were mistreated and sexually assaulted.

I've said before that sometimes we must draw a line in the sand when it comes to our families. I had to do that with both my parents. I can certainly understand why you must do the same; don't ever feel guilt for that. You are doing what is best and safest for you. I see your choice as having been the first step toward self-care, Julie. And yes, I can understand that "pull" you are referring to, but that "pull" if acted upon would ultimately lead to a "push" from your family that you retract what you know really happened in your childhood. THAT would not be healthy for you.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Mar 05, 2009
 I Believe You 100%
by: Linda

Julie1, I very much believe that you were abused and sexually molested. It is so hard to get anyone to believe you, because the truth is so ugly and no one wants to acknowledge it happening in their own family. But it does! Rich, poor, or middle class it happens. I am fifty-two years old and I still don't know what a normal family is. It is a constant struggle to pull up out of the quicksand of abuse. You appear to be a strong person taking care of yourself at such a young age, and I believe that you can find happiness in your life. I think you made a smart decision getting away from your abusers. Put the past where it belongs and live for today. The past is gone, we can't predict the future, but we can take today as it comes....Good luck to you.

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.



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