Comments for Child Abuse Story From Julian S

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Feb 24, 2012
 Julian:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

No matter how many times you say it was your fault, it doesn't make it so. It will NEVER make it so. None of what happened to your was your fault. NONE OF IT! Period. End of story. You were groomed and taken advantage of of sick and twisted excuses for human beings. You had no power; they had all the power, and they misused that power in a vile way against you. It is pure nonsense that what THEY did to you is your fault. You are not to blame; THEY are. You are NOT dirty or shameful, and you have no shame or guilt to bear. Shame, blame and guilt lies squarely on the shoulders of your abusers because they chose to abuse you. And I won't accept your "but I was an adult at one point" as an answer. You were abused into adulthood because there was a dynamic present that started when you were a child. You are condemning your Self in your own mind for something that you are not responsible for. Stay in counselling. Be honest about your feelings. Don't keep anything buried, no matter how ashamed (unwarranted shame, of course) you might be. The key to walking the path of healing and recovery is not to keep your emotions buried; and that means being truthful about what you believe and think. You CAN and I believe WILL get through this, Julian. After all, you survived the worst of it already. Your life is NOT ruined; it's only beginning. Believe that. I send you love, light and healing energy. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Feb 25, 2012
 Julian
by: Mrs R.

Julian you are taking this all on your self, this is not uncommon we all do but in order for you to be at Peace you must learn to love and forgive yourself. You are allowing the abuser to still control your life.
I was abused in every way from as early as a toddler and it went on until my early 20s. Like you I hated my self and was told over and over that I was bad, evil, dirty etc. I eventually broke and ended up in hospital and everything came out...the whole lot. This is the first step to moving on, you must unload every thing that happened to you to your therapist, and they might recommend some time in hospital, if they do, do not be ashamed, do it for your self you need to start living your life.
I had no child hood and most of my teen years were taken from me...my life started at 21, but at least it started. You must get rid of the need to watch pornography that will only keep you in the past, don't use your past to not move on, you are an adult now and I know you still hurt and that hurt will never really go away you must learn to live with it and put it to one side. There is a big world out there with lots of loving caring people.
I wish the best for you, but please stay in therapy, talk talk talk get it all out.....
Good luck dear:)
Feb 25, 2012
 Not your fault at all
by: Rita M

Hello Julien S,
I am so proud of you bing on this site.You are a very honest young ,!IF you can be this honest
I encourage you to never give up at any point.I
have gone through a horrid chidhood myself and
have gone for therapy.I am much older you and have
finally realized it really was not my fault at all.I was so young and didn't know what was happening.How can you say it is your fault?You
were just a young one.You are still young and can
turn things around.Trust me you are worth it.Let
loose and just keep in the therapy.It takes time
but the light does come at the end of the tunnel.
When you find out that is listening to you and are believed it makes you come to all the sessions,because you are talking to someone that has a heart to listen and help you.It is also a very safe place to go to and is very confidential.
You can laugh cry and feel angry.No matter what they are there for you.You did not deserve to be
abused no matter how you look at it.You can get your youth back.No one can take your youth away.
Stand up for your rights and move forward.You are still young.If you can charge these abusers go for it.If you can't charge them just move on and
keep thinking and knowing that you are worth it.
See,in my mind there is no such a thing as not being able to heal unless you prevent healing from happening.You are still young enough to take
the bull by the horns and go for it.The saying goes THE LATE ROSES BLOOM THE BEST.The beautiful thing is you recognize what is wrong.I know you can do it all because you are worth it.
God Bless
Rita M
Feb 27, 2012
 Julian,
by: AnonymousT

You did nothing wrong, so it wasn't your secret - it was the abusers.
I understand the hurt and shame of sexual abuse but it truly is not yours to bear, it's theirs.

I'm so happy you found this site to tell your story.

You're not alone.

T
Mar 05, 2012
 thank you
by: julian s

thankyou all so much for taking time to read my story, and to give me such care and support. My life is being rebuilt in such a miraculous way. I am achieving my childhood dreams as an actor. But only others who travelled this path, fellow survivors as yourselves truly know this challenge to stay above water and stay moving forward despite flashbacks and living with trauma on this level. Your replies have flowed into my heart. Until the next time...... i wish you all the best in your lives. Peace and love, Julian
Jul 31, 2012
 Compassion
by: Monica

My heart goes out to you julian what happen to you was not your fault... I'm 30 myself and being a survivor of incest sexual, physical, emotional abuse there is hope. You deserve to be happy with the right support and therapy you can come to terms with what happen to you. Be strong don't give up it does get better with time. Remember that you are worthy and deserving of happiness and love...you'll be in my prayers mon....

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