Comments for Child Abuse Story From JK

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Aug 05, 2008
I commend you: The cycle of abuse DID NOT live on...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Judy, it sounds as though you've broken the cycle of abuse with your boys. Congratulations! So often, the child abuse legacy lives on for generations. Given what little, if any, encouragement or positive messages you received by your parents when you were a child, given the betrayal and abandonment...it's all the more notable.

As for your mother and father's stance on the sexual abuse...knowing about the molestations, doing nothing to help you and your sister, and then having the audacity to tell the therapist, 'she's lying if she says she was molested'...it was inexcusable, Judy, nothing short of inexcusable. They not only denied you and your sister treatment when it had happened, they enabled the abuse by your cousin by failing to act appropriately. When you remembered, and then confronted your mother, only to hear, "Yes, it's true" it must have felt as though you had been violated yet again.

As for forgiveness, I completely agree with your assessment. Forgiveness is saying that you will no longer be controlled by either the abuser, the abuse itself or the emotional turmoil all of it caused. It is only when we let go of all the angry emotions that we can truly heal ourselves. As for forget, that doesn't usually happen. But when we shift the way we think about what happened to us as children, then we can live our lives more harmoniously, and we can share of ourselves more positively and readily. Again, Judy, congratulations on achieving this harmonious and positive state for yourself, and for the benefit of your precious boys.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Aug 05, 2008
hey.... I greatly look up to u (if that helps)
by: Cassie1

well... I do look up to you... although my situation isn't rlly the same as yours was... but I still wake up in the morning with both my parents sleeping cause they were out too late the night before... I am so glad that you know how much your boys are worth... that you need to be with them every minute.. cause in the long run they will tell you stuff... instead of hold it inside.. they will know that you care. unfortunately I don't have that feeling. But I know your boys will greatly appreciate it when they get older. They will realize how lucky they are to have you there. And I think you should tell them how much they should appreciate cause it will give them more respect. (when they are older tell them... probably not a good idea when they are young) I wish you much luck with your boys... and the rest of your life... I know it will be great... As they say all those mountains that you climb in your life will make you stronger. and you can definately see it in you! Keep being strong! Keep treating your kids right! Keep being that strong, amazing, mom and hero!
Cassie1

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