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Sep 06, 2010
Jessica:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Child abuse and domestic abuse does NOT have to haunt you for the rest of your life, unless you choose for that to be. When you choose to circumvent the pain of what you lived through, it will fester. But when you choose to allow yourself to feel the pain and all the feelings associated with coming from such abuse, only then will that pain let you go. Only then will the hauntings cease. Please consider some form of counseling in order to help you with those hauntings, and in order to help you understand why you feel responsible for the care of your mother even today. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir



Sep 07, 2010
Thank you
by: Anonymous

Hi Jessica,

Your ability to forgive your mother is the link that set you free from defining yourself in a negative way.

I will try to make this short.
My son's biological father beat my son up for nearly 18 years.

I had been beaten up by him in the early years, but it manifested itself onto my child when he was about 6.
I will not go into the horrific details of a broken child's life.
There was truly no earthly reason for him to do this, as he was and is such a wonderful boy.

I tried to make peace constantly, then ended up just buying him everything in the world to somehow make up for this beast who did this.

Today I suffer badly as my son has now cut me off from his life, stating that I never protected him until I finally left.
By then the damage was done.
I know I am as much to blame as I stood there and sometimes threw myself onto his body as a human sheild.

He does not allow me to see his children, and he and his wife have moved 3k away so that I could have not even a glimpse of them.
He and his wife are now using their children as a means of punishment for the rest of my life for not protecting my son and getting out sooner.

I know he is right and I am beyond sorry for this.
When I re married he was overjoyed as the man I married loves him very much.
He is now in his 30's and I have not been allowed to see him or the children for 5 years.
What would be your advice for a mom who just stood by, and a child who now hates her.

Thanks so much

Sep 08, 2010
I want what is the best for you: You must want what is best for you:
by: maurice

Jessica H: I empatise with you alot: I went to school with many girls like you: They stood secretly carrying the pain of abuse of their parents well after they were married and had children of their own out of exactly as you have expressed for you Mother: Only now they are talking about it as we share our childhood days growing up in a rural part of Ireland: It makes little or no difference where abuse happens in any part of the Globe: Abuse is abuse and will always be abuse on the innocent and vunerable: The behind closed doors the absue these girls endured is horrific: Yet we grew up together; walked the roads to schhol day in day out not knowing their pain: It was out a total false resepct and love for their parents that they carried the pain and the effects of abuse for years and years: Darlene would have given them the same loving kind words if they wrote their story as she has to YOU: Jessica H you are the luck one: Now you can with her heartfelt words make something of your life: Get counselling: You'll be fine: Always believe in yourself: I will: I can: I must: because I am WORTH it: Love the beautiful and wonderful me looking back at you from the mirror:

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