Comments for Child Abuse Story From Jem

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Mar 23, 2011
Jem:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I'm SO proud of you for telling. And I'm also proud of your mother for believing you and stepping up to help you through this. I understand the envy you feel for your sister; you see in her what could have been for you. But you don't know what you don't know, Jem. Some victims show no signs of abuse, and in fact, seem to be thriving with no apparent effects. We're all different in the way we exhibit the effects. Two things I'll point out: One, that you are special and wonderful just the way you are. Comparing yourself to your sister, or others, is not the way to mold yourself. We are all what I call "lumps of potential". That potential is shaped by our experiences AND how we choose to respond to those experiences. I would never have opened up this website and reached out to abuse and assault survivors if I hadn't myself been a victim of abuse and assault and hadn't witnessed domestic violence first hand. You have the potential to shape your future in a way that will bring meaning and purpose to what happened to you. Second, you are applying more mature adult values to what you did and didn't do as a little girl. That's not being fair to yourself. The next time you're near younger children, take a look, a good look at how young and innocent they are. Then realize that you too were little and innocent. And also realize that your uncle "groomed" you, and your parents. He took advantage of your youth and your vulnerabilities. In fact, he counted on them, and used them for his own sexual gratification. The only one who should feel "guilt" is HIM. Keep reaching out to your support system, Jem, keep doing what your doing, just the way you are. And seek out some form of counseling in order to help you with the aftermath. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir


Mar 24, 2011
ALWAYS BELIEVE IN YOURSELF:
by: maurice

"WoW" your's is the first story I read as I opened up my emails just now: I am wide awake and the energy of greatness, goodness, bravery, courage coming from each line I read and then in between the lines to make a real sense of how wonderfully strong you were (are) will be from this day on: Jem, what you truly did and you are so lucky to have Darlene's woman's heart comment to you: Hi hearts speak to hearts: You are an inspirationto all of us and I am sure to the many around by freeing yourself of that horrible abuse done to you: Reading that you exploded the emotions of it all on you from within to your Mother: she then cherishing you and loving you by BELIEVEING you was the icing on the cake: With each comment (personal) to each of her visitors Darlene's true heart is speaking and telling us the great caring woman she truly is: I feel I know her from these heart truthful relationships with each visitor personally: Her comment to you Jem brings that out to perfection: Why she set up this site: Jem: read her comment ever so carefully, lovingly, slowly, making her words real in your heart for yourself: Hi you live a great life to the full: you'll be sucessful in what ever profession you decide is for you: Oh Jem one sure way forward is to have a healthy mind in a healthy body: I know this has worked for me but also for all I have encouraged to have it: Get out there with like-minded fellow students and your friends taking part in Hockey, rugger, what ever team sports is your fancy and sporting and cultural activities: You'll make and have real friends for life: Many aquaintances to cheer you up with there smile and affirming words when ye meet: Jem: you are on the best road, the road to being a winner over your abuser: That you are Jem: Live well: Laugh alot: Love much: beginning with yourself: Hi Jem have agood positive mirror image of your beautiful and wonderful self: My motto: I WILL I CAN I MUST ONLY BECAUSE I AM WORTH IT: Get my drift Jem

Apr 14, 2011
Thanks
by: Jem

Thank you for reading this, and thank you for your kinds words and advice. Although I've learned to come to terms with what happened, I still tend to block out my emotions. The day I wrote this I was sat up late thinking about what happened and I couldn't stop crying, I had bottled my emotions up again. I didn't want to wake anyone at home so I poured out my emotions by writing this story.
Yet again my bottled-up emotions have hit me right now and fighting back tears has made me return to this website, and seeing your comments has made me feel much better about myself, so thank you so so much for that,I'm so glad that I have support here as well.

I am very grateful to have my mum. She has been through trauma in the past, including domestic violence at the hands of my dad. As well as this, on the day I disclosed to her she told me that she was sexually abused when she was a child as well, so she knew exactly what I had been through, and she had been dealing with it herself without me knowing about it. We are there for eachother, and I love her with all of my heart. I'm so glad that we have taken big steps in our lives to move on. We have both moved to England and my mum is set to marry the man of her dreams in September. I wish her nothing but happiness in the future.

Jem
xox

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From Victim to Victory
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