Comments for Child Abuse Story From Heather3

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Jun 28, 2009
The purpose of forgiveness...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I understand what you're going through, Heather. I lived in a very volatile and violent home. The beatings were severe, but they paled in comparison to the emotional abuse. Always remember that when your father or mother lose control, that's on them. You don't EVER deserve to be mistreated. And when you are mistreated, it is not your fault. It is NEVER the child's fault.

And Heather, try not to make comparisons about other peoples' stories. What matters are the effects the mistreatment has had on a person; not which of the situations is worse. Minimizing in this way only serves to take the person away from actually dealing with those effects.

About forgiveness, I point you toward an article on this site titled Child Abuse and the Grace of Forgiveness, written by one of my visitors named Irma. And please also read the comments below that article, in particular, the one I wrote Jan 27, 2009 titled Essentially, we've said the same thing..." Perhaps that will help to clarify the purpose of forgiveness, Heather: forgiveness is for you; not necessarily your abuser. Read the article and comments, and then try applying what's there in your own life.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Jun 28, 2009
A cruel family
by: Anonymous

Heather, I understand what it's like to be beaten, tortured, scared, humiliated and more. The way your mother "punished" you for not cleaning the bathroom was humiliating...and making jokes about your head... I can relate; a week after I just turned 19, my parents humiliated and tortured me over a hot dog lunch...I will never forgive them for that torture. Please tell someone you trust. BTW, your mother is wrong; you are not fat, you are not worthless; you are beautiful, smart, articulate and worthy of love, dignity and respect. Stay strong, my dear, because I'm thinking of you.

Jun 30, 2009
What Happened to you. Happened to you
by: maurice

When it comes to abuse it is very individual, effects the beautiful person alone. There may be similarities of greater or lesser beatings, torture, humiliation etc. Always know and be aware of one thing it happened to me. Heather 3. your life of beating's pain, degrading you and your dignity was wrong. a paddle is a paddle on your skin is total abuse and pain. The humiliation of that has it's long term effects too. Heather 3 it may seem to you not as bad, it happened to you that is all that matters, you were treated harshly by that Father of yours. I was beaten too and like you I felt it was insignificant compared to the other horrific stories I been told and read. I had to take ownership of my beatings for me to begin my healing process. Heather 3. get help, get the help Darlene suggests. Certainly begin with your friends telling them who really love you and you them.Always believe in yourself. Begin loving your beautiful self in the mirror. I'm Special and I love me.

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this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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