Comments for Child Abuse Story From Heather M

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Jun 14, 2008
A conundrum...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Oh Heather, I was in a conundrum...I had to remove the full names of your abusers and molesters, and replace the last names with initials. Please allow me to explain, because I mean no disrespect by doing so. I completely understand why it's so important for you to scream their names; it's cathartic and validating. By shouting their names in full, you tell the world that JAMES and FRANK did these horrible things to you. By disclosing their names in full, you cry out that you will no longer be stifled. I don't want you to be stifled, Heather. I want you to have to opportunity to share with the entire planet that these pitiful excuses for human beings treated you as though you were nothing more than trash. But we live in a litigant world that would punish me and my site for such as act. I hope you understand the position I'm in with this. By not including their full names, I'm in no way discrediting your pain. Indeed, I'm honoured that you've chosen my site to share your story.

Also, I generally do not permit the use of last names from contributors. Under the circumstances, I made an exception here. Emotions tend to run high when a person is writing of their horrible experiences. After their story is made public through this site, those emotions can settle some. This is when I am asked to have last names removed. If you decide at some point you want me to remove your full name, let me know, and I'll do so.

Heather, you were treated like you weren't human. You were disregarded in every possible way: You had a mother who not only didn't protect you, but put you and KEPT you in harms way; she was an enabler, and as such, was just as responsible for the abuse you suffered as Jim was—IS. You were forced to endure a twisted and perverted stepfather who didn't deserve to have you in his life. No one was there for you, Heather, yet you were there for your little sister. What an amazing person you became! You have so much to be proud of.

I hope you are in some form of counselling to help you deal with the emotional trauma, Heather. A professional can help you to release the anger and hostility that still resides insides of you. Anger and hostility that takes away from the wonderful person you are. The best gift you can give to your beloved son is to take good care of his mother. Take care of yourself the way no one ever has. You're worth it, Heather. You really are.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Jun 14, 2008
Comment
by: Anonymous

Hey It's really cool to read about an adult who this happened to. It shows that I can have a family someday and turn out alright. I feel for you. I have flashbacks of memories that I wish would just go away. I can't sleep at night becuase I am so scared of my mother. I have nightmares everynight about people coming to kill me. It scares me. I think you are doing well and if you talk to a counselor, they can help even more.

I have two stories on this site at:

Is it child abuse if I'm not bruised or injured?

Child abuse story from Name Undisclosed3

Aug 16, 2008
just wanted to say
by: mike from england

well done u have come out of it and are now starting to come to terms with wots happend to u.each time u talk to some 1 about it the better u will start to feel in inside till one day you realise it doesnt have to be a big dark secret thats a big domanating part of your anymore. from the moment you said NO and reported it thats when you took control over what was going on. up till that point you werent in control of anything that was happening to you you were a child. and so were all the people on this site and not a single one of you were to blame in anyway even if you had sat on thier knee naked they were adults they knew better.and not every abused child becomes an abuser the chain can be broken and those that do seem to come out of it a stronger person and i would bet money on it you will as well. good luck love all the best.

Aug 22, 2008
thank you
by: heather

thank you mike for your kind words and incouragement. sometimes love can be in form of undersanding to soothe the soul. Emotionally, i'm a complete reck, but i still manage to take it one day at a time. i love my son so much and try to some what be the parent i never had. The sad part about it though is being a sevivor of crap like that tends to make parenting an emotinal double edge sord. for the fact that you consistantly feel robbed.

Jun 14, 2013
truth
by: heather

My mother was a victim too! She was broken down by this sad pathetic excuse for a man that she became a functioning drug addict. Mom was physically emotionally and mentally abused by this man. I'm not making exes for her and her negligence of me but she lived in severe fear like myself. We were told many times that our lives would be ended by this monster if she ever left. I just wanted to make that clear cuz she wasn't a heartless person she was ruined in was by severe domestic abuse. I love and miss my mom very very much. She died almost nine years ago from a heart transplant that her body rejected.

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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