Comments for Child Abuse Story From Greg Part 2

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May 03, 2009
 Your mother DID target you...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Greg, reading what you wrote in this part of your story emphasizes what I suspected about your mother. What you wrote above underpins the purpose behind pointing you toward the link I sent you to on my site in my comments on part 1 of your story (For my visitors, you'll find the article at: Why Parents Target a Specific Child for Abuse). Your mother lashed out at you and blamed you for the choices she made in her life, and then targeted you for abuse as a result of those choices. She wasn't right in the head, Greg. She told you the absolute worse thing any child can ever hear from his mother: "I wish you were never born." For a child, those words are the ultimate in rejection. But I for one am very glad you were born, Greg. And I know your step-brother is not only very glad, but very grateful you were born. What you share is a powerful bond.

I do hope you follow through with getting help for yourself, Greg. As I've said to you before, you are definitely worthy of that kind of help. And so is your step-brother.

Thank you for sharing more of your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
May 04, 2009
 A willing enabler for a mom, and a vicious beater for a stepfather
by: Anonymous

Greg, your mother is wrong. You are not lazy; you are not stupid; you are smart, articulate and worthy of love and respect. The fact that your mom dropped out of school and did not go to college is not and will never be your fault. I'm so glad that your step-brother took care of you cuz he is so sweet for doing that. But both of you might want to try counselling. The only stupidity that I see comes from your mother and stepfather.
May 04, 2009
 a mothers most cruel saying to her beautiful baby/child
by: maurice

Sadly Greg you were one of a number, small percent of children whose mother wished you were never born. For a child to really overcome that most cruelest of saying from a mother he/she must acknowledge their own birth. Acknowledge and say I never asked to be born but no matter who birthed me I was born beautiful. Poor old Job in Scripture says naked I came from my mothers womb and naked will I return to my God. He said this when he was really down in the dumps in himself. Acknowledgeing his birth as being beautifully created and knitted together in his mothers womb. For a mother like your not to acknowledge that by saying I wish you were never born. She was dealing with alot more bad/negative stuff about herself then you Greg. Greg, You'll be fine but now is the time for you to get help. The help Darlene suggests, she's given you beautiful words of love and respect and acknowledges the pain of who hearing those words from a Mother. A woman's touch as is Darlene's in her comment back to you as you continue to share and blossom out your real self Greg to her and her many visitors. Hi you are highly intelligent and I believe in You. Hi you have very special loving people who love you fro who you are NOW. Friends. let them be your eyes to see the beautiful person you are now. don't deny your own birth. For better not for worse you were born a beautiful baby boy. Hopefully part of your healing will be hearing your mothers words I'm Sorry Son you were a beautiful baby.
May 04, 2009
 Great Article
by: Greg

Thank you for the article. It was very helpful and explains but does not excuse my mother. My Mom was emotionally abusive to all of her kids but I got the worst" of it. There is no doubt in my mind that she blames me for her pitafull life.
The summer after I graduated High School my Step-Bro and I moved to Colorado which is the best thing that could have happenend to any of my siblings and I. My Mother was very angry that I was leaving or starting my better life as I now believe and I'm Pharaphrasing here as I don't remember the exact words as I ignored the majority of her rants at this age. "Your just like your Father leaving me with all the responsibilities of raising these kids". I along with my step-brother were responsible for getting them to school, feeding them, doing laundry, making sure there Home Work was done, ect., ect. which I have to say was pretty easy considering that we were doing this even before my Step-Father left. Looking back it was a good thing for us that she was gone all the time either working or socializing during this time. My Step-Brother and I agreed to help out more when my Step-Father left as we actually felt sorry for her at the time. The reason why it was better for my younger siblings is because shortly after we left for Colorado they moved in with our Loving Grandmother.
I also wanted you to know that after all these years and excuses(mainly money) I've gone to one on one theraphy. My Brother does not want to go but does support my decision. The therapy session was very intense and I've been on a roller coaster ride all week. It has brought back bad memories(even worse than I remember) that I had blocked out but at the same time it has reminding me of good memories with my siblings and with other caring adults(neighbors, teachers and my Grandmother) which I had forgot.
During this week I was thinking and was reminded of a statement "Sticks and Stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me". Whoever thought up this statement didn't have abusive parents. But it is a good statement for me going forward as what normally makes me angry is abusive words or someone who may just be playing but making fun of me which is what happened when I punched the hole in the wall.

Thank You for your loving and caring words,
Greg
May 04, 2009
 Thank You Maurice
by: Greg

I just want to thank you for your kind words and encouragement. You are a wonderful person. I read your story and cried as I heard what that man did to you as a young child and what was done to you in Boarding School. I've also read the numerous comments you've posted throughout this site and can see how much you care. I wish I had you as a Father or just a friend because you are truley remarkable.
Fyi- I have not spoken to my Mother for 5-6 years at my Brother's High School Graduation. She was with yet another Man who seemed dispicable as I could smell the booze on him. I confronted her after the Graduation about my childhood (mainly the beatings) and came to the concluson that she will never know the pain she has caused and was not worth my time. One of my younger Brothers got married 2 years ago and she did not even bother to come. This just reassured that feeling.

Please keep being who you are Maurice,
Your Friend,
Greg
May 05, 2009
 The article and your mother...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You're welcome, Greg. I'm glad you found the article helpful. Always remember that you MOTHER is the one with the serious problem. SHE is the one with twisted ideas. SHE is the one who made choices for herself that she couldn't live with. YOU, on the other hand, escaped and made a better life for yourself despite the obstacles, despite the adversity, which would have made her jealous because she couldn't come close to making something of herself. Instead, she pointed the finger of blame on the most innocent and precious one around her: you, Greg.

It was very wise of you to distance yourself from her. She's toxic to you, indeed, to all her children. She will likely never "get" her part in what happened to you. She will likely never "get" that SHE was every bit an abuser as your stepfather was. But your healing does not require her to "get it".

Stay the course, Greg. What got you through the horrific abuse you endured will be what gets you through reliving it and then healing from the resulting emotional residue. You, dear, have a great deal of internal strength. I do hope you acknowledge that strength.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Jul 30, 2009
 this story
by: dana

The beginning of this story makes me so mad because she could have prevented that from happening but she just let it happen. You have a better chance of going into a good-paying career than she ever did because you went to college and she didn't. I'm happy you graduated college and wish you the best!

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