Comments for Child Abuse Story From Gabriela

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Dec 23, 2007
You didn't LET anything happen...
by: Darlene Barriere - webmaster

You weren't to blame, Gabriela. Not for any of it. None of what happened to you was your fault. Absolutely NONE of it! You were a child; your molesters and rapists were adults. As a child, even if you had paraded around without your clothes on and started touching inappropriately, it was up to the adults to tell you to stop and put your clothes on. I'm not saying that's what you did; I'm saying that even if that IS what you did, you are not responsible. The adults in your life are the ones who must be responsible.

Your suspicions are probably true. The fact that you were sexual at such a young age shows that it is likely you were molested. The same goes for your siblings. Young children who exhibit sexualized behaviour do so because they have been exposed to it in some way. You already identified that so many in your family were sexually molested.

And just for the record, young children DO have the ability to experience sexual pleasure, such as you did with rubbing—which, by the way, is not the same thing as "sexualized behaviour," behaviour of a sexual nature that is beyond the years of the child. At four years old, what you were doing is called "comforting behaviour." When young children need to console themselves, it is perfectly natural for them to rub themselves to experience good feelings. Most children at some point console themselves in this way. There is nothing dirty or shameful about it. So please, stop questioning that element of your then 4-year-old behaviour. It really was perfectly normal.

You stated, "I control my future. My past does not control me." Well said, Gabriela, very well said. I still believe that you would benefit greatly from some form of counselling. So much has happened to you that you need help sorting through it all. I sincerely hope you'll consider it. And yes, Gabriela, you are smart and you are beautiful and you can make people laugh.

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