Comments for Child Abuse Story From Eva1

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Jun 10, 2010
 Eva:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

All those terrible things your mother called you and said about you were lies. She was so sick and twisted in her thinking that she was spewing those lies in an effort to stop herself believing that they were true about HER. No excuses, just an explanation for the way such twisted people think. She took her own inadequacies out on her two beautiful children. Don't keep making the mistake of taking the torch from her. It's time to see her lies for what they were: LIES. It's time to put out the torch and start telling yourself how worthy you actually are. And you ARE worthy. And you ARE lovable. And you ARE deserving of respect and dignity. It doesn't matter what your mother thinks (or thought), YOU must believe this now. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Jun 10, 2010
 Changing self talk
by: Peter Schmedding

"I simply feel that I somehow deserve bad things to happen to me."
Those were your words, Eva. And after reading your tragic story I can well believe that you are feeling that way. In addition to Darlene's most important reply to your story, the following also may help you on the way to recovery and reclaiming back the value of life that, after all, is your birthright.
I cannot remember the therapist's name, so cannot give her credit. I do remember, however, how impressed I was about her approach to many of life's issues: Take a problem state and turn it around to the opposite. In your case that would mean every time you think that sentence, force yourself to think: "I somehow deserve good things happen to me."
This may not be easy for a start. As it becomes a habit in time, however, the all-important self talk that we all carry around in our minds (and changes how we really feel about ourselves) will lead you to a realistic self esteem with all the success and peace of mind that follows.
Best wishes
Peter
Jun 10, 2010
 It's safe.....come out of isolation
by: Mac

Eva1; It's safe...you can come out....you're safe here & loved. Isolation breeds our fears,insecurities,and turns us inward, & depression can creep over us. Precious one, don't isolate yourself. You've got a good life, healing, joy,love, peace, blessings, but you have to get back outside in the fresh air, meet people, & walk in fellowship of reecovery, & happiness. Proud of you! You are worthy to live! You are worthy of a good life! I've battled thoselies about myself as well for way too many years, & it can make you crazy if you let it. Don't! Keep us posted! Seek support gorups, & therapy! There's a good life out there for you....come out & discover it.
Jun 12, 2010
 You derve better
by: michelle5

What ever your mother went though when she was younger is no excuse for abusing you. I went though child abuse when I was young and I am a single parant I have 2 beautifull children who I would never harm infact it has made me more pretective of them. There is never an excuse and it was not your fault your mother is sick in the head who needs help.You should belive in your self you are a good person who derves better out of life and if you ever have kids you can show them what real love is.
Aug 03, 2010
 I couldn't thank you all enough!
by: Anonymous

:)
I must say that all you guys' kind supportive responses felt a little hard to believe at first, but YES! You were right!
Just posting my story, somehow making it public, has meant a great deal of difference in my life. It felt like dropping a gigantic burden off my back. Knowing that there are so many of us and that many found recovery is very reassuring.
The past is still here, it will always be, but it loosens its grip day by day. As if a crack had appeared in a dam and filthy water started trickling through, widening the crack and destroying the dam as it flows away. I have become more self-confident, relaxed and opened up to my friends much more. I became more responsible, and even my business started bringing more money.
Mom still operates back in hometown and often tries to cross boudaries. Dealing with this makes me angry, yes, annoyed, but not scared and helpless anymore! I can defend myself now. I finally can fortify my personal borders when and if needed. But I don't need to live behind thick walls anymore.
Panic anxiety comes sometimes, but when I live a regular life (eat, sleep, work, relax and enjoy the company of those who are dear to me), I can avoid it completely.

Darlene, I couldn't thank you enough. What you have done for me is a miracle I didn't even know could happen.

P.S.: Guys, try this simple trick: Start a notebook of "What I did right today" and sum it up at the end of each day. Even tiny things. It takes two minutes. You might be surprised at how this works.
Mar 05, 2013
 The Horror
by: Anonymous

Eva, your mom is deeply troubled and sadistic. It's good that you got out of that house now because she's too dangerous to be trusted. Oh, and she's wrong too; you're not worthless; you're worthy of love, protection, dignity and respect. You're not the cause of your dad leaving her; he chose to leave her. You didn't cause her to abuse you; she just refused to accept her own responsibilities.

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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