Comments for Child Abuse Story From Dr. Noria

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Dec 30, 2008
"Dissociation"...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Dr. Noria, first allow me to express my deepest condolences on the loss of your beloved husband. Even though it's been twenty years since you lost him to cancer, it sounds as though you still feel it as though it happened only yesterday. When we find someone who accepts us as we are, flaws, emotional baggage and all, especially when we have such a hard time accepting ourselves because of childhood abuse, it is so difficult to deal with losing that. Our only hope is to find that acceptance in ourselves, rather than looking for it in someone else. Logically, you understand that; emotionally, it's a different story because you still believe the lies you were brainwashed to believe as a child. And they were lies.

It doesn't surprise me that you cried while watching and listening to my most recent weekly video of dissociation. It was disturbing, even without being able to share in such a horrible experience.

You said you've been through years of therapy. Perhaps you'll find even more incidents that you can relate to; that in and of itself may provide some healing benefit. Perhaps my personal experience with my psychiatrist will find you relating on a level that you couldn't when you were in therapy. Sometimes reading of others' sessions can be helpful because there is distance and less of an emotional tie. Perhaps something Dr. Stein said to me will somehow resonate with you.

Thank you for purchasing my e-book and for taking the time to write me, and for sharing your story with my visitors and me. I do hope that reading my book gives you some semblance of peace. My god, at 63 years of age, you certainly deserve to "accept yourself". I accept you just as you are, Dr. Noria, complete with flaws and "emotional baggage". I was able to lose the emotional baggage that I carried so many years ago; I pray the same for you. I do hope my book helps you find your path toward healing and recovery, and that you'll come back here and share of that.

My apologies for not responding sooner. It has been an extremely busy time for me.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Dec 31, 2008
Phobias and lost bits of memories.
by: Scott Canada

Darlene,I am amazed at your courage regarding you ability to speak publicly.I know from experience that when I tried to share my story with anyone verbally,my throat would close off,I would lose my breath and my mouth got so dry.Just saying those words aloud make me shake.That is what is so great about writing it down here. You said some things that make me wonder about my own abuse.I wonder if dissociation is the reason for lost memories.It seems commenting on others stories can often cause memories I didn't know I had to surface. In (my) story I explained how my school teacher beat me.That one episode in the teachers lounge or lunch room has me concerned.During the beating,it seems just after it started,everything went white and disappeared.As I wrote,the next memory I have is being very sore and crying in the hallway. How can I remember what happened. I like Dr. Noria suffer from a driving phobia,and social anxiety. I don't take medication and I know its a struggle every day. Question: I have heard of regression therapy.Can one do that by ones self.Can I find what happened to me in school,by myself in the comfort of my own home? Is there such a thing with out the stress and embarrassment of spilling it all out to a stranger/therapist?

Jan 01, 2009
To Scott:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Scott, I'm making an exception answering here (there aren't enough hours in the day to answer questions any longer, which is why I've had to suspend my Ask Darlene feature); I'm sure you understand when I say that this will be the only time I do this.

Regression therapy is highly controversial, even when done in the office of a trained professional. But I would NEVER recommend trying it on your own. Too many psychological problems can occur. So if regression therapy is something you really want to try, I advise getting in touch with a therapist who specializes in this field.

The mind will only release "bits of memories" when the person is truly ready to remember them. Mental blocks were erected for a reason; breaking them down can sometimes be more traumatizing than the original event(s) that caused them. That's why I recommend enlisting in the services of a therapist for such methods. While I'm all for "self-help", I'm not for it when it is at the expense of possible further trauma.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Jan 07, 2009
Wow...
by: Francine

Dr. Noria, I'm sorry that you didn't have a good family; the sad thing is that I went through the same thing, too. You might need to try counselling and to treat yourself better than anyone ever had cuz you are worth it, sweetie.

Jan 07, 2009
A Thank You Note
by: Dr. Noria

I am not commenting here, just wanted to thank Darlene, Scott and Francine, for their answers and compassion.

It warms the heart to know that there are people with a lot of empathy out there, and receiving their comforting words is soothing to the soul, even if I did not meet you in person, there is a special connection there,

Thanks again.

Dr. Noria

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