Comments for Child Abuse Story From Denise E

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May 26, 2009
 Congratulations on making something of your life, in spite of your childhood!
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Denise, I applaud and commend you for your volunteer work with molested children and getting them justice. Doing so is a very noble and worthy cause, and can also be therapeutic for you. Each time you are able to help a molested child get justice, you in some way—at least symbolically—achieve a sort of justice for your own childhood and the crimes that were committed against you; crimes at the hands of your mother (as an abuser herself, an encourager towards abuse, and an enabler of abuse), crimes at the hands of your deeply disturbed brother. I'm very glad to learn that the medication you are now taking is making a huge difference with the PTSD. I hope that you are taking this medication in consultation with a therapist or some type of counsellor. The emotional trauma you are still dealing with tells me you need that kind of help. You certainly didn't deserve to be mistreated. You DO deserve help for that mistreatment.

You've distanced yourself from your violent and twisted-in-her-thinking mother. I had to do the same thing many years ago with my mother because she continued to try to control and manipulate me and my life. One must do what is necessary in order for healing to begin. My hope for you is that healing WILL begin and continue.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me, Denise.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
May 26, 2009
 sad
by: Anonymous

I hope it gos good for you now
May 26, 2009
 A Sadistic Monster for a Mother
by: Anonymous

Denise, what your so-called mother did to you was very sadistic, pathetic and ungrateful. I'm sorry that you never had a good mom; I can relate. My parents never did anything to my brother when he used to beat up on me. I certainly hope that your cruel, twisted and sadistic excuse for a mother gets incarcerated for all those terrible things that she had committed (and forced all your brothers to commit) against you. She is also a control freak when you said you were supposed to play the lead character from that play that you used to like. She is a pervert as well (and she even encouraged one of your brothers to be one as well). Have you tried counselling? I wish you and your kids all the best.
May 28, 2009
 Thank you
by: Denise E

Yes I do realize that I still need counseling, which I do receive through the VA hospital in my area that can deal with my issues.

However, I do gain strength from my personal struggles, and I am finally happy in my life. My whole mission in life is to help others realize that just because you have suffered through something such as this, does not mean that you can not become successful or at peace with yourself.

Too many survivors don't really understand that they do deserve to be happy and what happened to them was not their fault. I just want to be one person that listens, and helps and shows an alternative to self-destruction which seems to be the norm for people such as myself. We are truly in control of our own destiny, We have to learn and grow from the crap hands we were dealt as a child, and help other children and adults who have also been dealt that same hand. And please believe me when I tell you that it is not about hate. Allow love into your life because you deserve it!!!!

Peace out my friends and God Bless!!!
May 31, 2009
 no one will ever know what we go through after abuse
by: maurice

Getting help Denise E from a counsellor might be the only way as I found out by being able to tell him what I went through and put myself through after my abuse. Other than that no one else knows except the special people in my life now my friends. chosen few. whom I've related some but not all of my struggle to make sense of my abuse. The scars of those days can only be healed and made somewhat insignificant if we let go of the awful memories of them by degree's. They will never leave us. Once we accept abuse was not of my doing. it was not my fault, it was done to me by very uncaring big adults who should have been showering love on us and nurturing us to love back in return. Denise E. Darlene really knows best, heed her caring wonderful and loving words to you. slowly make sense of them for yourself. if you do automatic healing will begin for you. Mirror image of ME. I can make that wonderful woman ever so beautiful and real by saying nice things about me and my body. Oh yes Denise it works and though you might feel negative thoughts about yourself and fell silly about saying things I have a beautiful body, every part beautiful even the parts that were treated badly and molested by not very nice people. ruined my sense of beauty in those parts. Yes Denise E. soothe away all the not so nice things you feel now in what happened you in your innocent years of childhood. I'M SPECIAL
Jun 01, 2009
 God sends.....
by: Judy

those of you who turn tragedy into victorious missions. I think you are a very courageous and strong lady - what you are doing with those children, your children, and your life is to be admired. Had you not gone through what you did - you may not be in the position that you are now - a God send to those who need the support and love that you understand and bestow upon the young ones. I hope that makes sense - God bless you and yours, Judy.
Jun 01, 2009
 Maurice
by: Denise E

Hi Maurice,

That's so good that you said about telling yourself that you are beautiful. I actually have learned to do that through my counselor at the VA hospital. Every morning when I wake up I tell myself over and over again, that today will be a great day and that everything will be ok. Sometimes I don't really believe that at first, some days it could take me up to two hours of saying this to myself in the mirror, but golly gee it does work!

After decades of dealing with extreme anorexia, I have finally achieved a healthy weight for myself, and even though at first I struggled with being comfortable having breasts and hips and a rear end finally at the age of 41, I am really starting to love it. When I look in the mirror now, I see a very healthy and beautiful woman who is very strong. Yes, I am also getting counseling on handling eating disorders since my past history I was hospitalized 7 times into a treatment program for eating disorders throughout my entire lifetime. So hopefully, I have a grip on it now, but that is why I continue therapy. The emotions are still there deep inside and now that I am aware that they are there always, I do open up to the counselor and tell her when I start feeling my mindset revert back to self destruction.

I do know that there will be a day when I don't start crying over nothing, and feeling sad and all that other stuff that comes with this. My mother abused me my entire life in one way or the other. She also illicites my siblings to continue torturing me in other ways. Finally, this year, I started it off right and decided not to answer her phone calls, my brothers realize that if they call me or come over, that Mother is not a topic of conversation with me. I also totally disowned my one brother who also hurt me, even though I do feel bad for him for he was also a victim of our Mother. Being Native American made it hard to disown my own mother but I spoke with tribal leaders and they also advised me that in our culture, even though our duty is to our Mother, if that same Mother treated her child such as she has, then she has committed severe crimes in our culture and the punishment according to our laws is very extreme. So now I feel good about my decision, and no longer feel guilty to her.

If someone has abused you for such a long period of time, it has after effects for a long time also. But, there are things we can do to help ourselves too. I really don't believe that it will ever go away, but at least we can make the pain less important.

Thank you so much for all of your advice. God bless and take care....
Jun 02, 2009
 what I am doing for myself and others is good
by: maurice

Great and good news Denise. Think alot about Darlene's words of support and encouragement, they are sound, she knows as she too was down the same road as you. No comparrisons Your mother was your mother and she did awful things to you, abused you. Darlene emphtises with you and all her visitors individually beacuse she has respect for each one who shares his/her abuse story. Her site is a haven for new hope and new beginnings for each of us to move on in our own life NOW. Denise you are brave so be strong too and keep loving your beautiful self and be good take your medication under supervision of professional medical people. Hi use your very special friends too to hold your hands and walk with you. your need for a real loving hug can be great from time to time, they will give it to you. Mind how you go. I with my few words of support are very near you in all that you do for yourself. I can do it, I will do it, I must do it. FOR ME NOW. I'M SPECIAL. I LOVE ME. THAT ME IN THE MIRROR CAN ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING I WANT. DON'T YOU DOUBT THAT DENISE E
Jun 02, 2009
 spoonfulls of love alone won't build up that beautiful body of yours
by: maurice

Denise E great you are being loved and cared for in a very special place for you to begin to believe in yourself more and more each day you wake up. Don't you Quit. Keep loving yourself more and more each day and accept all the tons of love being showered on you presently. if they encourage you to eat, you eat, because that is what will build you up in mind and body so you can really see that Body Beautiful in the mirror. Be brave, be strong, I know you will Denise E

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