Comments for Child Abuse Story From Deebee

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Jul 04, 2009
 Your sister had a mental illness she could not control...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Deebee, when you question your thoughts about your sister, perhaps you'll begin to see things in a different light about her; and thus, help yourself with your own emotional repercussions. Your sister was not only troubled, something deeply disturbing must have happened to her at a very young age to harbour such violent anger and hostility. You mentioned that she was sexual toward you. It's quite likely that she was molested as a small child, which could have left her with an unmanageable anger disorder. It is also possible that she was born with something malfunctioning in her brain, something that was further triggered sometime in her younger years, perhaps by sexual abuse. In truth, we don't know what we don't know. We only know that she was a severely tortured human being who seemed incapable of stopping herself from being torturous to other human beings. She would not have committed suicide if she herself wasn't tortured by her mind. It is quite possible that even as an adult, she was unable to rein in her anger because of mental illness, which is ultimately what took her life.

The shame and guilt you now feel is about your thoughts, Deebee. Stay in counselling. Keep talking about how you're feel, and give yourself all the permission you need to keep feeling. The rest will happen naturally.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Jul 04, 2009
 Your sister was out of control
by: Anonymous

Deebee, your sister was twisted in her own thinking and she needed help. Too bad she committed suicide because she should've gotten help for herself instead of committing suicide. And I'm delighted that you tried counselling. Please stay in counselling because you, alongside your parents, are worth the help that you all deserve. I wish you all the best.
Jul 05, 2009
 great you are receiving counselling. I love me keep saying
by: maurice

You sure grew up in an unusual household, family, which sadly now is effecting your true appreciating of your own beautiful self Deebee. Great you are receiving counselling stay with it no matter how painful it maybe for you at times. What counselling will do for you is widen your horizon about the years of distress and confusion you beloved sister put you, your Mam, your Dad through in her short life. She is at peace now. sadly dying through suicide. She needed loads of help but seemed to be too powerful over her Mother and Father not to listen to them or get that help. Deebee this is what the counselling will help you to understand. What she did to you was wrong very wrong even though her mind was troubled; Hi Deebee know you were very strong in yourself thinking up ways to make a sense of her and it all to keep your self sane. It was not my fault, I was not to blame, If I think about it simply, sure she had her parents living in fear of her. She must have been somewhat older in years than you, if she could have such power owver her parents as well as you. Her confused state made her do all these things to you especially wearing a corset and undressing you in public. No sister in her sane mind would do that to their little sister You have learned that you are highly intelligent and now know you need help to make sense of it all. I know you have a friend or two who will walk with you, hold your hand and help you to begin to LOVE yourself. That you must do Deebee, Look in the mirror, see that wonderful teenager/female you truly are. make beautiful again all the parts that your sister may have not helped you put a real value on. Think good and lovely thoughts about yourself especially your sexuality, make it beautiful and natural while letting go of the confusion around it in what your sister put you through. Slowly step by step believe in yourself. I am the most important person now, I'll pray that in my sisters memory suicide and death she will be my strength to live my life to the full. Understand her, forgive her, she was not in her true mind. NO excuses for what she did to you but it happened. Please Deebee love yourself NOW. Darlene's site is your saving help, she is wonderful in her words to you. please read them and ponder on them and slowly understand she loves you as indeed I do and her other visitors who read your detailed account of your confusion. Respect yourself, be true to yourself, your family, your friends, find someone who will love and respect you always. don't let anyone use you Deebee. You be in control of your life. I will pray for your sister May she rest in peace Amen
Jul 07, 2009
 I feel messed up
by: Anonymous

I feel really stuck, I think what I remember is only the tip of the iceberg, but whenever I think I get scared. I feel so messed up. I was also traumatically raped when I was 16, but the biggest impact was from my childhood.
I want to heal from this and let go. I built a metaphoric wall as a child in my mind and pressed down all the memories, I wished that all that was there was the violence I feel unaffected by that to any great extent. I am deeply and always have been suspicious that sexual abuse occurred from an early age. It is unbelievably canny the correlation between my emotional states and life choices when reading about long term effects of child sexual abuse. I dont know how much and of what nature I have forgotten. What should I do about this? When I am not in an ambivalent stage I am afraid. I trivialised the impacts on the original post as I sometimes find it hard to explain in words and it comes out messy. The whole picture is hard to comprehend and what happens is a emotional response to the rise of a fragmented part of my past. As there was a lot of abuse I sometimes feel overwhelmed and flooded by memories. Is this happening now because of my sisters death? I think going into shock after I found out brought things to light.

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